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Drunkest Guy at the bar

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by DataDan, Mar 20, 2013.

  1. DataDan


    Mar 18, 2013
    You know the guy I'm talking about. The guy that was drinking before you started setting up and by 11pm he is standing front and center doing something wacky, probably yelling "play free bird!" or something of that sort.

    So what did your 'drunkest guy at the bar' do to distinguish himself?

    a few I could think of:
    1-long ago, maybe my 3rd or 4th time out, there was a drunkard standing right in front of me, like 2 feet from my face screaming the words to the song I was singing. He did this every song I sang (3 or 4) for the entire 3rd set. I tried to push him away with my foot a few times, but he wasnt having it.

    2-was doing an open mic with my bro at a college. We played the 11p slot and the place was packed. Drunkest guy at the bar was holding a full pitcher of beer when we must have starting playing his favorite song, at which point he starting swinging his arm in the air, pouring beer over 10-15 people.

    3- just a few months ago DGATB (drunkest guy at the bar) started to all out break dance right in front of the stage, but this venue didnt really have a dance floor. He kept this up for a few minutes until he ran out of gas and his buddies drug him over to a stool.
  2. Drunkest Gal At The Bar Story

    Not my story, but one of my best friends plays in a local "rival" band of ours (it's a friendly rivalry, ha ha, he was actually my guitar instructor for years). They were doing a show at a local bar and very late in the night this very intoxicated woman kept going up on the edge of the stage and trying to sing with the band. Then she gets up the nerve to jump up on stage and grab Troy's microphone and start singing. Before anyone from the bar staff can get to her and get her off the stage....she passes out, toppling over with the mic stand in hand, spilling her drink all over his pedal board. Messy.

    The big kicker.....turns out she is the drug and alcohol counselor at a local big-dollar private high school.
  3. etoncrow

    etoncrow (aka Greg Harman, the curmudgeon with a conundrum)

    I guess you can't talk about a place you've never been.
  4. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Huntington WV
    Yeah. Participant observation, they call it in social science research circles.
  5. DerTeufel

    DerTeufel Supporting Member

    Nov 11, 2011
    Wildomar, CA
    You just described the DGATB from my last gig.

    We started setting up at 6pm, and while I am setting up the PA, he tells me which way to aim the PA (I ignored him). He was already drinking and was approaching hammered quickly.
    I set up my rig and did a cursory volume/tone check. DGATB starts yelling out requests..also ignored.

    7am - We start playing. He's making weird hand gestures. In between songs he yells out, "Play something fast!". We have our set list arranged to have a slow song, then a faster song. He never figured that out. I did my best to ignore him. Thankfully the room was full and I had plenty of distractions..that is, until we played the only Lynyrd Skynyrd song on the list, which was halfway through our second set. By now, DGATB is VERY drunk, and jumps out in front of us and starts "dancing" for two cute girls at a table near us. He then starts doing this weird backwards shuffle towards me. I watch him get closer and closer and hope that he stops..no dice. He runs into my mic stand and knocks it into my mouth, bursting my lip. I so desperately wanted to crown him with the headstock of my 'Ray. I thought the better of it and kept playing. DGATB kept fairly quiet for the rest of the night..with the exception of his drunken requests for us to play something else from Skynyrd.
  6. coop


    Jun 22, 2002
    Funniest one I can think of happened just a few months back. It involved 2 DGATBs. They had some sort of a disagreement, and even though neither of them could barely stand. They attempted to have a fist fight. Mostly it was wild flailing of the arms and falling down on the floor. It ended when DGATB #1 threw up on himself.:scowl:
  7. Finneus

    Finneus Supporting Member

    Aug 20, 2007
    Oswego, IL
    Many years ago we did a gig in the basement of this bar. A guy staggers down the stairs dressed up like Robin Hood, full get up, including hat with a feather. He gets on his back on the ground to the side of the stage and takes a swig of some butane or something. Next thing you know, there is a fireball from the floor to the ceiling. We could feel the heat probably 8 feet away on the stage.

    The amazing thing is he probably did this 3-4 times over the course of the night. They did not bounce is ass out until he groped a female patron, then he was shown the door. When we loaded out at 2:30 AM, he was blowing fireballs outside and threatening to burn the place down...
  8. Wow, it took you guys 13 hours to set up?
    No wonder a few people were drunk...
  9. Megazap63


    Apr 12, 2009
    London, UK
    Belt him with a headstock?...good way to damage the neck. OTOH, the bottom end of the body....
  10. jnuts1


    Nov 13, 2007
    twin brothers sporting mullets while wearing neon yellow fishnet half shirts. do i need to expound on this? i think their physical description is good enough to understand how they acted!
  11. DerTeufel

    DerTeufel Supporting Member

    Nov 11, 2011
    Wildomar, CA
    Lol..I missed that. Start time was 7pm.
  12. NG51

    NG51 Supporting Member

    Aug 19, 2010
    Actually, it was a drunk woman-this was many years ago. We were playing a jazz gig with a singer at a local bar/restaurant, and this drunk woman decided that she was a better singer than our guy was(it wasn't the case, of course), so she jumped up on stage uninvited. Then she lost her balance, falling on top of my double bass, collapsing the bridge and cracking the top. Interestingly enough, it was about this time that I decided to only play electric bass on bar gigs.
  13. Hues


    Nov 27, 2012
    see Burn Notice
    1)First set, maybe half a dozen people in the place. A guy starts yelling “You suck!” during and after every song.
    The guitarist and bandleader, a guy who rarely ever got rattled by anything, was fuming by the set’s end. He walked off stage and we all gathered in a booth, where almost everyone else in the bar and the owner would come over and apologize for the guy’s conduct. They also bought us a couple of pitchers of beer.
    But our unflappable leader let it get under his skin and canceled the gig. The owner felt so bad that he just said OK.
    We drove about three hours to get to this place.

    2)Strip bar out in the boonies.....An old woman, maybe in her sixties or early seventies, dancing alone on the empty floor in front of the band, repeatedly lifting her top. Wearing nothing underneath.
  14. etoncrow

    etoncrow (aka Greg Harman, the curmudgeon with a conundrum)

    Playing an outdoor afternoon gig at a college farm campus. During a break they have a cowboy hat competition. The DGATB tried walking through our equipment with a cinder block on his head. Our equipment manager took him back behind the barn.
  15. Hues


    Nov 27, 2012
    see Burn Notice
    Aahh,memories....Kill me,now.:meh:

    3)Small town auditorium/theater with a nice big stage, about four feet above the floor....In between sets, a guy trying to climb up on stage, grabs one of the light trees and brings it crashing down to the floor. About half the lamps were wasted.
  16. DataDan


    Mar 18, 2013
    good stuff guys!

    I'm playing out in 2 weeks at a dive bar. Might have some fresh stories soon.
  17. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    At a poorly attended fund raiser for the local hockey team, there were a pair of cougars (being generous, here) who were supposedly mother and daughter (not likely, both looked to be about 60).

    After every song they'd yell out "AC/DC" from the sidelines.

    During a break the mc got up to make the raffle/silent auction winner announcements.
    These two proceeded to continue hollering out "AC/DC" while he was making the announcements.

    Some folks just shouldn't be allowed to consume alcohol. Ever.
  18. Fair Warning

    Fair Warning Deliverin' the Goods!

    OK...so lets hear it right now. Who out there has done the Gene Simmons fireball trick when they were a kid?
  19. bjabass


    Jan 10, 2011
    Mountain South
    A regular at this dive was bad for sitting on the bandstand. The owner had told him not to many times but he was so wasted he couldn't remember his name. Finally he passed out...you guessed it...on.the bandstand. The owner walked up with an indelible ink marker...you know...the giant kind, and proceeds to draw a moustache and full beard on the drunk.

    I wonder how long it took to wear off?
  20. We had a gig awhile back and the drunk guy was there soberish at the time. Started talking gear with us. That was fine. Then he started telling us about his day's as a musician. That was fine. we played our set, gig finished then all the bands were hanging out the back having a few and chatting. I saw the drunk guy talking to our guitarist. I wondered over to join in. I listerned for abit. But all he was going on about was how bad & slow he thought our guitarist was. After abit of this i spotted an unopened condom sitting on the table. As he wasn't looking at me i opened it. Stretched it out & plopped it in his drink. Our drummer saw me. Then suggested we leave. I was abit gutted i didn't get to see his reaction. probley a good thing thoe he was a big dude.

    sorry for my typing skills. Im on a cell

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