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Dumb singers

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by cliffburtonfan, Apr 12, 2004.


  1. A while back we had a singer who was partial to a drink or too. We had been booked for a gig in a decent venue with big stage, lights, professiional sound the works. The band arrived without our singer (as he lived in a different area and made his own way there).

    Anyways when he actually arrived, he was pissed. He brought with him a 2ltr bottle of "water" which was actually vodka.
    By the time we went on he was totally wasted so we told him if he forgets any lyrics just sing another verse over again.

    That night we done cover of ozzy's "Crazytrain". He sang the line "Crazy, and thats how it goes" the whole way through the song.
    He also feel off the stage which was pretty dam high, fell asleep on the floor during an instrumental, and broke a microphone at the end.

    That was the last gig we ever played with old gavin.

    Has anyone else experianced anything like this with other band members?, its funny now, but at the time we were really angry
     
  2. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    That sucks man, hope you find a new singer, those clips you posted definitely had potential.
     
  3. we have a new singer now, our drummer sings and drums, hes a stronger vocalist but we dunno bout not havin a front man. Also the old guy wants back sayin he will take it more serious but i dont think that will happen. Glad u liked the clips!

    ill upload some more soon
     
  4. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    My first real gig was ruined by our singer. I had played lots of school band performances but this was my first gig playing in a regular garage-band band, not a school-symphonic-jazz-or-marching band.

    We started out as Three guys from my grade and a guy from my church. The singer, drummer and I were all in marching band together. They both played trumpet. The guitarist was an incredible natural musician, still among the best I've ever encountered. Nobody should be able to be that good without working at it. It's not fair.

    When we heard about the Battle of the Bands at the teen club there in our hometown the guitarist called in a friend of his who was also pretty darn good. We now had the Southern Rock-Approved recipe of two very competent lead players and a pretty good rhythm section. Things looked promising until our singer bailed on us, two weeks before the show. We quickly found another singer. He had a better voice, already knew all of the covers and could play rhythm guitar while he sang. Cool, huh?

    Well not exactly cool. He had never sung in front of an audience before. He panicked and forgot all the lyrics. We were basically playing instrumentals while he held the mic and looked scared.

    Much unhappiness and disappointment.
     
  5. bill h

    bill h

    Aug 31, 2002
    small town MN
    Last week we had a gig that we booked several months before hand. The drummer had some things come up and could not make it. After a lot a calls we find a drummer, says he knows all the covers we do and will learn the originals (gave him a demo). Shows up for the gig at 5:00 (we play at 9:00) and starts to drink and is so smashed by the time we start he didn't know how the beat went for any song we play....and had to ask the singer for help. I am really mad about now, I look back as I hear him miss a beat and the dufus is playing standing up, hamming it up like nobody's business!!!! we finally end the 2nd set and he says "wow you guys are great fun to play with, my old band never let me drink and play at the same time....1/2 way into the last set he says to me "Bill I have to stop, I'm to drunk to play" I must of gave him a look of god because he said sorry and started the next song. I hate to say that the list of things he did wrong is very long and I will get all mad again. I might look back at this a laugh but not for a long time,
     
  6. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    The singer in our Cheezball rock band is a peice of work. He has his own CD coming out, and since a guitarist from our band was leaving, he tried to hijack the rest of the band when I and the other guitar player wanted to take the band in a newer (cover) musical direction.
    He can have the drummer, no great loss there.
     
  7. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    If it makes you feel any better, I really wish I would have caught this gig.
     
  8. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Aw jeez, where to start? Well let's see, the one before this one, we found him through a MusicConnection ad, and he had a good resume and a decent voice, so we booked a gig with him to test the waters. It just so happened that he used to play the place we booked with a former band. So the guy shows up in dark glasses and a long trenchcoat (which he never takes off all night), and quite drunk, and immediately sets up a music stand with all his lyrics on it, and proceeds to read through the first few tunes. Meanwhile we're watching people come through the door, take one look on stage, and leave again (without even ordering a drink, imagine that). So the singer finds some poor slob to buy him tequila shots during the break, with the result that he got so 'faced by the beginning of the second set that he forgot the lyrics to Roadhouse Blues. Then, as he's poised precariously over the edge of the stage trying to serenade some cute chic, he nods off in the middle of the song and goes all the way over. Off come the glasses, out goes the chic. We sent him packing after that set, somehow between the other four of us we managed to cover the lead vocal duties.

    That was only the last one though, I have three or four others to tell good stories about too. Why is it that singers (and sometimes guitar players) are so screwed up (and bass players are so cool)?
     
  9. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    If you want a decent guitar player, to a lesser extent a decent drummer and definitely, a decent singer...I think the only choice is to do what we did in my last band and raise your own. I taught the drummers little brother to play guitar. He started off learning guitar with MY musical taste and philosophy leading the way. So when he got better on guitar than me he was musically compatible with us and we put him in the band. The Keyboardist was also pretty much a kid when we found him. The drummer and I 'raised' him too. He was already competent on keys, but didn't listen to any modern music. We introduced him to newer jazz, then fusion, then prog. THEN we asked if he wanted to come jam and he joined the band after the first jam session.

    Singers are harder. We auditioned four or five dozen singers over a couple or three years. Two of them were as good as the rest all thought that they were. One of those two wasn't staying in Texas. The other had a drug problem. I ended up becoming our lead singer because I knew what the songs were supposed to sound like. I wrote them.

    We never ended up making it. But I am still happy to see any of the guys from that band. I can't say that about some of the more monetarily successfull bands I played with in my life.
     
  10. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    "Brad" used to read lyrics off of a cheat sheet -- during our performances.

    If we had a low turnout at a gig, Brad would announce to the crowd, "There's no one here, so I'm gonna get drunk," then proceed to drink pitcher after pitcher of free beer, until he was indeed drunk.

    Between sets, Brad would go out to his car to get high (whether we had a poor turnout or not). After the show, while we were loading gear, he was either getting high, or picking up some hoochie for the night (he was engaged), or both.

    If he forgot the lyrics, Brad would announce to the crowd that he forgot the lyrics and then jump around like a monkey until he remembered 'em again.

    Finally, everyone knew Brad, because he was the lead singer. He never, ever thought to introduce anyone else in the band and one time, this girl was coming onto me during a song, rubbing on me and kissing my ear while I was playing. Anyway, between songs, she leaned over to him and asked him what my name was. He told her it was John, or Mark, or something like that (BTW, it's Cameron). I said, "Come on, man! The only time someone shows an interest in someone other than you and you can't even tell her my name?"

    Singers...

    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    EDIT: Oops, I forgot to mention the time Brad took a puff off some audience member's doobie and then blew the smoke in my face (I don't smoke pot and he knew I didn't smoke pot). After the gig, he denied doing it intentionally and couldn't understand why I was so pissed off.