dumbest joke known to man

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Stephen S, Jul 12, 2002.

  1. Stephen S

    Stephen S Member

    Apr 10, 2002
    San Bernardino, CA
    A guy wanted to play bass in a band. The band told him, "Okay, but you will have to have 1/3 of your brain removed." So, the guy went into surgery. When he woke up, the doctor said, "I'm terribly sorry, but we made a mistake and accidentally removed 3/4's of your brain!" The guy said, "Uh, that's okay. Got some sticks?"

    that is so lame why the h*ll would you get 1/3 of your brain removed to join a band?and when you wake up after surgery your gonna want ice cream not sticks...... no one wants a pair of drum stick
  2. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Y'know, that's not a bad joke.

    Key term in this little discussion is JOKE. Logic and sense can and are suspended for the humorous effect. Of course, no one would remove part of their brain to be in a band. The point of the joke is that it's funny. Not that it's a logical exposition on the social and medical pressures of a band and the relative intelligence of said band members.
  3. just_a_poser


    Apr 20, 2002
    Haha! I liked that one. I just wish I had a drummer friend to make fun of. Heheh. But I also thought this was pretty funny.

    after surgery your gonna want ice cream not sticks.

    Word, ice cream owns. lol
  4. A guy walks into a bar.....OUCH!!!
  5. TheListPunk

    TheListPunk Guest

    Feb 2, 2002
    Topeka, Kansas
    He might of been talking about the ice-cream drumsticks. But no he couldn't of been that smart he had to of wanted to be a drummer.

  6. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

    you wave to her.

    that's the stoopidest joke ever, but I still use it:D

    I know soooo many blonde jokes
  7. What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

    A stick.
  8. -----------------

    * What is written at the bottom of Norwegian swimming pools?

    "No smoking here"


    He he, we Swedes always makes fun of Norwegians. :)
  9. Why did the punk cross the road?



    How do you tell if a blonde has been in the fridge?

    The cucumber has lipstick on it.. :p :p :p
  10. check out my sure-fire chat-up/pick-up line;

    did it hurt?

    when you got hit with an ugly stick?/fell out of the ugly tree?
  11. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    Did you hear about the blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

    She burned her lips on the muffeler pipe.


    What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

    Pull out the pin and throw it back.


    How do you keep a blonde busy when she is in a circular room?

    Tell her to sit in the corner.

    one more time...:rolleyes:

    How many blondes does it take to replace a lightbulb?

    Only one, but she goes through 3 boxes of bulbs before she realizes that she can't just push them in.

    I have nothing against blondes, I just know all of the jokes.:D
  12. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
    A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"


    Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
    A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

    how bout another???

    Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
    A: You can park in the handicap zone.


    Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
    A: Because she got an "F" in sex.

    one more??

    Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
    A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

    ok, ok....last one...

    Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
    A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

  13. My pick up line:

    "Hey, wanna have sex?"

    When they answer no as they almost certainly will.

    "Ok, but do you mind lying down while I do".

    I know this is pretty dumb too but I like it.
  14. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    The best pickup line ever-

    "You wanna have sex and some pizza?"

    the girl will always say no...

    then I say, "What, you don't like pizza?"
  15. just_a_poser


    Apr 20, 2002
    There's a girl I know and we always say stuff to each other like that. One of my favorites is, 'Hey wanna have sex?' except she genereally won't say no, so I can't get the second part.
  16. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    I didn't want ice cream, I wanted a cheeseburger from Burger King!

    Q: Why can't blondes make Kool-Aid?

    A: Because they can't figure out how to get 2 quarts of water into that little envelope.
  17. Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and way when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said "what's in the bowl b1tch?"

    Long live the dice man rhymes :).
  18. BigBohn


    Sep 29, 2001
    WPB, Florida
    Yes, we all get those. They are called "prostitutes". ;)
  19. One time I went to a movie that was so bad, people were waiting in line to LEAVE!

    *Ba Dum Tssss*