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Efficient System Cleansing.....

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by AuG, May 4, 2006.

  1. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    Ok, so I have a drug and alcohol test coming up here next week. Aside from drinking copius amounts of water, taking vitamins and working out, are there any other options for clearing out any and all foreign chemicals in the body? Suggestions would be helpful; moral discussions on drug consumption would not be.

    Thanks be to the TB crew,

    AuG :bassist:

    P.S. Yes, I have stopped smoking. :D
  2. dharma

    dharma Srubby wubbly

    Oct 14, 2005
    Monroe, Louisiana
    Two things I can tell you from personal experience:

    1) Depending on how long it's been since you used said foreign chemicals, working out is a bad idea. Said foreign chemicals often store themselves in the liver and body fat, so speeding up the metabolism and burning said body fat makes said foreign chemicals be metabolized as well, thus they appear in your urine.

    2) You're probably going to want to bite that bullet and buy yourself a system cleansing solution (something with milk thistle, which will make you pee like a racehorse, but cleanly for that first pee). Can't quite remember the brand I used, but it worked for me.

    If you wanna, P.M. me.
  3. Goldenseal root was the mask of choice for pot when I was younger. Might still be. I don't remember how long to take it, or how much, but I do remember having some of the nastiest tasting burps ever after taking it.

    Good luck.

  4. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    I had forgotten about that Goldenseal stuff. I might give it a go. Thanks Bob. :bassist:

    Dharma- I had heard that working out was a bad idea, but I have minimal body fat as it is and my metabolism is like a freaking spacecraft upon re-entry.
    I'll hold off on the working out for now, I guess.

    Thanks for the help fellas.
  5. dharma

    dharma Srubby wubbly

    Oct 14, 2005
    Monroe, Louisiana
    Put yourself in fat-building mode. Literally; just pig out.

    That, and a system cleanser.
  6. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    Oh boy, colon blow! Cracklin oat bran and fiber horkin chunks...ya know...
  7. Kosko


    Dec 12, 2005
    take the piss mid-stream, not from the beginning, not from the end, just the middle. its the least concentrated in "the flow"... alright i've gotta go crawl in hole now.
  8. If you are worried about herb....

    THC residuals store in fat cells. The fatter you are, the longer it takes to get out of your system. 30 days is a safe bet for anyone, but someone with little fat can clean out in a couple weeks naturally.

    Drink water. Drink some more. Drink LOTS of water. Keep a big water bottle and a toilet near you constantly.

    There are cleansers out there but I'm not sure what's good these days and not detected. Google is your friend.

    Two or three Visine bottles full of a male friend's urine taped in your sack area is a common trick if you are really worried on pee day.
  9. Have you considered the Whizzinator? (link goes to Wikipedia article, not the company home page)
    (not being too serious but it is on-topic)


    - Dave
  10. Matt Call

    Matt Call Supporting Member

    Aug 1, 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    Goldenseal. Lots of water.

    I'm so glad I don't have to worry about this anymore...
  11. Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    My boss has realized if they drug and alcohol test here, he will
    be the only one left in the building. And he might not pass
  12. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Are they testing urine, or hair, too?

    Maybe you should shave your head.
  13. fookgub


    Jun 5, 2005
    Houston, TX
    Attempting to skew the results of a drug test is illegal in many places.

    But I've got some advice anyway. There is a foolproof way to pass. You have at least one friend who doesn't smoke, right? You have a thermos, right? You have a ziplock bag, some tape, and a needle of some sort, right? I think you'll work something out.

    By the way, most of those "cleansing" systems are crap. They're just creatine. The idea is that you dilute your sample, then artificially raise your the creatine levels by drinking the "cleanser." That way, when they test to see if the sample is diluted, it comes up fine.

    Also, the best way to pass drugs tests is to not take drugs. That's been my method of choice for a few years now, and it hasn't failed yet.
  14. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    Hahaha I would, but I don't think they have my size and I wouldn't want to give the medical examiner a false impression. :D

    Besides, I don't have $150 just laying around.

    I think I'm going the goldenseal route with plenty of water. If they test for Goldenseal, I've had stomach problems before and will just say my Doc recommended I take it. Apparently it's used to heal lesions and bleeding in the stomach. (perfect for ulcers, so I undertand. Had one when I was younger.)

    If anything, all they're gonna get outta me is water. Thanks for the suggestions guys.

  15. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    Just a urine sample.
  16. Walk in eating a poppy seed muffin.:D

    Rock on
  17. Ericman197


    Feb 23, 2004
    If THC is stored in fat, how is drinking water going to help?
  18. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'

    Use alcohol, it makes you pee more often.;)
  19. Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    There's always dialysis.
  20. AuG


    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    A worthy post for the 5000 mark. :D

    Seriously, I'm still laughing. :smug:


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