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Engineer Terminologies

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Richland123, Mar 5, 2014.

  1. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    Engineer Terminologies

    1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED: We are still spitting in the wind.

    2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM: We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

    3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION: We know who to blame.

    4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH: It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

    5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED: We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

    6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE: The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

    7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING: We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

    8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED: The only person who understood the thing quit.

    9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

    10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT: Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

    11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL: Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

    12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING: We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

    13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION: I can't wait to hear this bull!

    14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS: Come into my office, I'm lonely.

    15. ALL NEW: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

    16. RUGGED: Too damn heavy to lift!

    17. LIGHTWEIGHT: Lighter than RUGGED.

    18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT: One finally worked.

    19. ENERGY SAVING: Achieved when the power switch is off.

    20. LOW MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix if broken.
  2. Bingo

    Bingo Banned

    Mar 3, 2014
    South by Southwest
    21. MODULAR DESIGN - can not be fixed at the component level, so let's swap out some boards until it lives again.
  3. 1958Bassman


    Oct 20, 2007
    I was helping a friend on an AV/network installation at an apartment in Chicago. We originally went in for the pre-wire in November of '09, returned for some additions in February and expected to be there for trim-out in April, 2010. My friend spoke with the owner in October of that year and when he asked how the apartment was coming alone, the owner said "It's trending toward completion".

    We didn't go back for three more months.
  4. I have worked for many years building equipment for semiconductor manufacturing and related industries and I have lost count of how many times we were given a schedule that was "set in stone" and we busted our backsides to get the machine out the door on time and then it sat at the customer's site for a few months while the facility was finished. One time we had a system that was behind schedule and as we were approaching the ship date the project manager notified the suits that the date would be missed. Panic ensued. Two days later one of the customer's VPs shows up to "bring things in line." Our entire staff had grown tired of finishing assembly and development on site every damned time so the PM put his foot down and said, "NO! This system is not shipping until it is ready." Much to our surprise, he managed to convince the suits to accept this.

    Finally, the system was completed and it shipped to the customer's site. As it turns out, it was the last machine to reach the site but it was the first one to go on-line. It was two months late and it still had to wait but we just hooked it up and dialed-in the process. Every other system there required additional assembly and/or development on site. Naturally, the suits were all credited for being innovative thinkers. :rolleyes:
  5. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    I need a Prometheus reference, but it's not coming to me.