This is an essay that I am writing for english, the subject is yourself and I want to know what the fellow TB'ers think of my writhing skills? NOTE! it is about 5 pages long doubled spaceed. It's a rough draft of a rough draft. Hello, my name is Grayson Daniel Faria, as you can already see in the title up there. The date that I was born on is February twelfth, nineteen eighty eight, in Vallejo I believe. My ethnic back ground is Portuguese on my fathers side and German on my mothers side. But also thrown in there is a whole bunch of other different cultures. They range from Irish to native American . my fathers great,great grand father came to America form the islands off of Portugal in the early nineteen hundreds. When he arrived he came to what would be called Pinole. A little known fact, but the hill so commonly referred to as chalk hill is actually Faria hill. My moms side of the family came over during the dust bowl in the early thirties. Both sides of my family have their own problems, but there my family and I love them. The way that I see myself is different than how others would see them selves I think. Me, I would like to think that I am a different kid than the rest of them, in the way that I think and act. But then I realize that I am just another average kid in this crazy world of ours. My self image I guess could be summed up in the idea of being comfortable. The clothes that I wear are always comfortable and are always my style. The image that I put out is defiantly different than how I see myself on the inside. When people see me, what I want them to see is guy that is fun to be around and that will be a good friend. A person t hat will listen to what they have to say and will try to help them out when I can. That is the kind of person that I see myself being, but thats not what people usually see when they look at me. When people see me they think that I am a bully of some kind, and that is some thing that I am trying to shatter. When people can see me on the inside, that is when I will be truly happy. One of the things that happened in my life that really help define me is when I was in the ninth grade. That is when I started one of the longest, best, worst, most dangerous, most eventful journeys of my life. My first girl friend. All of the things that happened during that three, yes, three year venture are the things that have made me into the man that I am today. At some points I was the happiest person to be in existence, at others, mainly the beginning of the school year, I was the most depressed, mopest thing crawling around. But after all is said and done, the over all experience was all healthy and good for me. The other thing that happened was one night that I was hanging with my brothers, not literally, Sal Torres, and Greg Horton. When I would hang out with them they would always talk about semi Freddies in Emeryville. It is a big gourmet bread bakery, that all of the bread that does not get shipped out gets tossed in the dumpsters behind the place. The first time that I went with them, I had no idea what to think. We pull up to the place and there are dumpsters filled with bread from that same day. Still perfectly good and smelled great, and tasted great. Those were two things that really changed me as a person and into the individual that I am now. One of the biggest things that I have really tried to change about my self is my fear of trust. The simple fact is that I never trusted my self all to much, and that in turn kept me from trusting others, from family to friends, and the one that I was supposed to be able to trust the most. That has hurt me a lot in my past and recent present. But I have tried to open up to others and talk about the things that hurt me and make me mad. It has been a hard thing for me to be able to do, but damn it, I am going to do it. In the ninth grade I was very, very, veeeerrrry easily led, by friends and whom ever. That caused me to fail P.E., one of the easiest classes in all history. The people that led me were, and still are my friends to this day. The thing is that I was lazy and stupid, so I figured that it would not matter, I was very wrong. That cost me the whole ninth grade, being on restriction and punishment really sucked, but thats the price that I paid for being weak minded and dependent on others. One of the things that I have learned is honesty, always, always, be honest with others. But mainly be honest with yourself first and foremost, because if you are not honest with yourself, then you can never be honest at all. Tell the truth to people, loved ones, people you hate, and anyone that you come into contact with, it is really liberating. Trust me on this kiddies, I have had to learn the hard way. My goals, they are all over the place with me. From being an art teacher to being a solo bassist. When I sit in my room and think about my future, I usually think of really outlandish things, like being one of the guys that I see in movies. Then I step into back into reality and realize that it is just a movie or a song and then I start to think of what I could really do. One of the things that I would really like to do is become a music engineer, and work with a lot of different bands. Getting them the sound that they want on their albums and what not. Another big goal of mine is to become a solo bassist and put out all solo bass albums. Because if you ask me, the bass is the instrument that dose not get enough credit, and that is something that I would want to open peoples eyes to. But other than the things that I have already listed in this paragraph, there really isnt much else than that. The whole family thing is some thing that I am not even going to touch, why, I am eight teen god damn years young and that sends chills up my spine just thinking about it. Not ready to go there! The whole high school thing, experience, situation, what ever you want to call it has been life experience that I and no one could ever get from any thing or any where else. It is the thing that you see when you are a little kid and just see so many different things and begin to think so many different things. You wish to just hurry up and get there. But of course once you get there, your whole perspective of totally change. You begin to realize that it is the real world, and no, you are not the big shot that you had thought you were. You are just some dumb fresh men that should keep his mouth shot if you dont want to get your ass kicked. Thats how it was for me and my friends at least. As for changing any thing, I would not change any thing so far, or at all. But the only advice that I would have for the future is, dont do that and go for it. Oh boy ! the essay is almost done, but I only have one thousand, three hundred and ten words. That last sentence jacked it up a little bit and at this current moment, that is all that I am trying to do. Just keep typing so that Ms. Lamons dose not yell at me for two periods, first and third. So as long as I keep typing, I will be safe from her fury. What if she reads this, this will either make her laugh or make her lower my grade. That would really suck if she did lower my grade, because that just simply can not happen to me at this current point in time that is the end of the second quarter. Run on s are fun!! Okay, that seemed to work. This essay writing experience has been good for me to express my self through a way that I dont usually get to . But it has also taught me that the whole writing process is full of fun and learning ones self more and deeper than I thought. Writing an essay on your self is alt harder and easier than I would have imagined it to be. Bye!