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Enthusiasm at practice????

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Tim Cole, Jan 29, 2003.

  1. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, if anyone bothered to read my last post about "should I stay, or should I go", knows I'm on the verge of ditching my band. Our egomaniac singer is the problem in my opinion. On my weekly band taxi missions, he decided he wasn't going to practice last week, and never bothered letting anyone in the band know, including me who has to go out of my way to pick his poor, broke, jobless, licenseless, lazy, egotistical ass up every week. This is the 3rd or 4th time he has done this to me, so I decided enough was enough. I emailed him when I got home that night, and told him if he needs a ride from now on, he needs to call me that day to let me know. If I get no call, I'm not showing up.

    Last night was our first practice since. Of course I got no call, so I didn't bother showing up. 20 minutes after practice was to start, he calls the studio where we practice, of course needing a ride. Our drummer left and went on a 40 minute journey to get him. We didn't say much of anything for about an hour to each other. His attitude started getting bad real quick.

    He has had a history of when he is in hot water for something, coming up with a complaint about someone else, to shift blame, and put the heat on someone else.

    Well, last night he started a rant about people (meaning ME) not showing enthusiasm about "HIS" original material. He had a big problem (all of a sudden apparently) with me using a bar stool to sit on during our practice sessions.

    He also went so far as to say I am ruining the bands stage presence. While I have never been a jumper or dancer, he knew this when I was overwhelming asked to join by the band. Keep in mind, this was all being yelled, not spoken in decent terms. He also went so far as to call me a "whiner", for sending him a PO'ed email about stiffing me on picking him up. He also added that I don't have the authority to talk to him the way I did, threatening to quit if the BS didn't stop. In his eyes, I am not an ORIGINAL member, and have no right to talk to him that way.

    This all ended up a big mess, with the entire rest of the band going to bat for me, the guitar player even got so mad that his schecter 7 went flying across the room. I packed up my modulus, and headed outside. I did end up finishing out practice, since my good friend the guitar player, told me that my playing meant a lot for the band, and made me feel a tad better about things. But they did get to rehearse a few songs bassless before I got my stuff back out.

    Sorry to rant, I just have a ton on my mind, and know a lot of you guys have faced similar BS dealing with egomaniac musicians.

    Am I wrong by trying to be comfortable in practice by sitting down? I have always wanted to be as solid and accurate as I can in playing, which is always my main focus in practice. I wish I could be comfortable with jumping/dancing and acting like flea onstage, but unfortunately (I guess) that's simply not my personality. I think if you feel fake, you look fake, and I don't want to try to be someone I am not.

    I really love this band, but I really need to quit it. I did take a step in the right direction by telling everyone I am going to start gigging with other bands also.

    This sucks
  2. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I forgot to mention, the significant other was waiting on the couch for me when I got home. She was in one of those moods to start a royal war at 2 am. Isn't life GRAND??????
  3. Arrrrrgh


    May 8, 2002
    It sounds like you are dealing with too much bull****. Out of all the bands I have been in, the one I am in now is the best. It is the best because of the friendship that is within the band. I have never been in a band where everyone gets along all of the time. We have been together for 2 years now, and things are only getting better.

    We are are older musicians (I am 34 and the youngest one) so that may make the difference. But we play every weekend, and we all still get along great.

    I am in a cover band and I have no desire to "make it big" and tour around the world and "be a star" and neither does anyone else in my band. That may help me with the attitude department with my personal band. I know that if there were any major differences within my band with me, or any of the other members, I would just quit. I dont have time to deal with the personality conflicts. It is probably different with a cover band than it is with a band that is trying to make it big, I dont know for sure. But I have played with many bands that have arrogant people and it isn't fun.

    We always say, that we get payed for shlepping our equipment around, and the music is for free. The music wouldn't be free if it were a struggle to get along during practice, or gigs. I think (for me) that compatability is the most important part of being in a fulfilling band.

    As always... IMHO

    See ya
  4. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    The singer is the only one that seems to think we need to try to make it big, and he is the only one that puts zero effort into anything we do. I could care less, it is a pipe dream. If something big were to happen, it would be great, but I'm just in it for the FUN involved....
  5. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Your singer is a psychopath. In your other thread I suggested that you stick it out until you had other options on the table. I'm not sure about that now.

    Seems like the rest of the band isn't a real problem, and you love the music, though. In your shoes, I might let it be known that I was no longer going to play taxi for the singer under any circumstances, and that I need to be either fired or accepted for what I am. I'd make it clear that personal attacks are totally off-limits, too.

    It's a strong but not unreasonable ultimatum, methinks.
  6. Like Secretdonkey, you should phase yourself out -- don't quit until you have a better gig.

    Maybe the situation is salvagable if you can find a new singer. Let's face it, your current singer is a prick. If you can find some support amongst your other band members, start searching for a new singer (secretly, of course) - when you have found a suitable, dedicated, enthusiastic replacement, kick him out. :p If your conscience gives you trouble, just think that you're doing what's best for the band, not you. :D
  7. There is a thing about flogging a dead horse though, especially when it starts affecting your overall mood, in and outside of the band.

    Sometimes calling it quits is a good kick-up-the-arse to get you onto better things.
  8. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Nevermind.....I've decided that as long as I am going to continue to play with these guys, I am not going to complain about the crap on public forums. Kinda like a woman complaining that her man has hit her 300 times, if you don't leave, you kinda lose your right to complain. Thanks for the replies though.
  9. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    i would tell the whole band at practice that you are quitting, then privately call the other guys in the band (except the singer), individually, and tell them each that you really liked them personally and musically and wanted to do some music with them. set a date for you guys to get together, of course not telling each of them that the others are going to show up, and then when everyone shows, tell them what you want out of a band, and see if any of them are interested. get an idea of what you want in a band, and make it happen on your terms with the guys you want to work with. then you won't have to deal with that kind of crap ever.
  10. Wow man, I am in a surprisingly SIMILAR situation, and I'm also debating whether to get the hell out... I'll post more later, 'cause it's late, and I'm beat.
  11. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, the phasing the singer out deal wouldn't work. This band has been together 3 years, and they have been through some tough times throughout. They had to take a year off, since their original bass player quit, and have been through enough, they decided that if a member leaves, the project is done as a whole. I guess they feel it isn't worth rebuilding yet again, after all the trouble they went through the first time. When things go bad, I get pretty down about it, and I can't stand the attitudes that pop up now and then. 80% of the time things are great, we get to do reasonably good shows, we play well, and usually have a lot of fun. I guess I will stick it out as long as it is still more fun than trouble.....but I am done complaining about it, since I am the one that decides to stay with it, even though there are probs from time to time. Thanks again.
  12. Jennifer


    Jul 31, 2000
    Erie, Illinois
    The 80/20 rule is very useful.
  13. Mike N

    Mike N Missing the old TB Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2001
    Spencerport, New York
    No. And next time the singer gives you a load of crap for it, tell him that if the drummer gets to sit, so do I.:spit:

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