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Ever feel like you're in a situation nobody in the world has ever been in?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Joe Nerve, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    For a good part of my younger years, I believed myself to be incredibly unique. In many ways we all are, but I'm talking the REAL unique, unhealthy kind of I don't fit in anywhere. I've gotten past that for the most part, and my life has been much happier. I get along much better in the world now :).

    I presently have a situation that's been going on for a while, gnawing at me, that I feel completely alone with. And I'm stuck as I have no solution other than to just sit with it and wait for it to play (or not) play out. I honestly feel it's something so out of the ordinary than possibly nobody on earth has ever experienced it before (or at least nobody within my reach). I'd love to post details, but truth be told... I don't think anybody that didn't know me personally would even believe me.

    Apologies for being so cryptic, and depending on the responses I may wind up PMing some people specifics, as I really would like to have other people's take, input, inspiration, whatever. The situation is a "luxury problem" as some put these things. Nothing life threatening, or even harmful... but it IS causing me a lot of uncomfortability right now.

    Anyhow, anyone ever have something like this, that they felt really alone in the world with? Thought this could be an interesting, fun topic, and possibly helpful to me and others.
  2. Gorn

    Gorn Supporting Member

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    That might be the most narcissistic thing I've ever heard on a few levels. It's completely unique to you. You might tell some people about it privately but in the mean time you'll share it publicly and cryptically. Do you want help with your problem or do you want to share how unique you are?

    I apologize in advance. I'm not trying to offend but it's how it sounds.
    Munjibunga and AaronVonRock like this.
  3. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    Dude, quite honestly I think you've morphed into the biggest, know it all douche on Talkbass. Sorry you feel the need to takes stabs at people wrestling with things you've never experienced.
  4. Gorn

    Gorn Supporting Member

    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    You might be right. Your problem is very unique after all.
    Munjibunga, 10cc and Jim Nazium like this.
  5. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    Joe, my immediate instinct is that you need to bring your wife into this.
    She knows you better than anyone and may help lead you to clarity.
    jthisdell and Joe Nerve like this.
  6. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    My friends and family know what's going on. It's music and career related though, and it's something most people can only shrug about...

    And fwiw, if othe people read into the post as my good friend Gorn did, I may have to restate my OP as its intent is far from how it was perceived, at least by him.
  7. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I can honestly say that several times I thought DURING a situation I was the only person who had experienced something. However, with the benefit of time and distance, I found that (other than small details) my situation was not completely out in left field.

    My sister fell asleep in her dorm room at 20 years old and simply did not wake up. Two autopsies turned up zero.

    My first wife cheated on me with my drummer. She broke up a marriage AND a rhythm section. :eek:

    Looking back years later, I'm sure plenty if people have lost siblings too early with no apparent cause. And I'm sure pretty much every spousal infidelity scenario has played out at some point.

    Either way, it seems as though it is bothering you. So best of luck with it, Joe. First world problems are still problems.
    blastoff99 and Joe Nerve like this.
  8. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    keep the day job if you can. if not,. reapply at a much later date, imo.
    blastbass, MJ5150 and andruca like this.
  9. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    I'm not sure that I have ever felt totally unique, but I have been in a position that I had some unique knowledge.

    I have to admit that I didn't handle it extremely well. Rather than go about life ignoring it, I allowed it to separate me from the people involved. Rather than spend time with them (which I previously enjoyed) I found myself subconsciously avoiding contact with the people affected. I guess it was a self preservation thing - if I didn't think about it, maybe it wasn't real, IDK. Maybe I was just avoiding drama.
  10. It would be a special kind of person who didn't feel alone with a problem at some time in their lives.

    Finding other people who have been through similar situations (and there will always be those people), will always increase your perspective, and hopefully provide support, and eventually resolution.
    Scatabrain and Photobassist like this.
  11. Aberdumbie


    Jan 22, 2016
    South Carolina
    Owning my business I tend to work sixty hour weeks. My wife and I thought it would be a good thing to adopt two very young children in our mid fifties. I am beyond exhausted..... On days that I feel particularly weak and vulnerable I drive a different route to my office. One that takes me by the "Temporary Labor" work stand. Usually there are maybe 25 or so fellows just hoping that somebody will stop and offer them a days work so maybe they could offer something for their family to eat that evening. I do that as an intentional shock back into reality and appreciation for the material things my life has been blessed with. Joe, it is often a matter of perspective....... Or put it this way. I don't know how much merit there is in this statement, but I once heard a speaker state that if you have a dollar bill in your pocket, then you are wealthier than 80% of the worlds population. Point is again, it is the perspective you take from your current situation. Well wishes your way.
    bolophonic, Rocker949, Gazman and 3 others like this.
  12. Photobassist


    Dec 18, 2010
    I've had several experiences that I know are unique (not sharing and not narcissistic). There are things that happen to people that's never happen before. Just ask Aron Ralston.
  13. Michael B

    Michael B

    Dec 16, 2015
    Lowell, MA
    Yes. Although I consider(ed) it a character building experience it was more negative overall. It was something my family went through together. It was a singular event in history and we experienced it like only a handful of others.

    I wrote 75% of a screenplay based on the experience but completely changed the situation. I dropped it because abstracted, it didn't match the feeling of going through it.

    I don't share the stories with many people. They sound made up and a kid's imagination but they are not. So like Joe, sorry internets but not sharing. Basically posted this as a direct reply to Joe's question.
  14. andruca


    Mar 31, 2004
    Madrid (Spain)
    Been reading your posts since maybe 2004 (and enjoying most in fact). You definitely fall into the "wise dude who often overthinks stuff". I know you won't take a decision before reflecting extensively on the subject. Now, if it's about career choices I assume it has become a conflict for you because it implies either closing some important door and/or not being to sure about the door that's opening. If those doors can't stay open long enugh for you to give the new door a try and see how that goes then I'd definitely choose the most steady option. And I'm not talking about money only. Of course it has to suffice for your aims, but most important, I'd say "steady" in terms of a honest and sane relationship with the other parts involved in your new door's project.

    I personally had a great chance lost because of greed. I used to play with a nice R&R singer who happens to be rather famous (former Argentina soccer team goalkeeper who was always a rocker and had many bands). It was smooth, respectful and well paid, altho' we didn't play out that much as he had to moderate his rock agenda in favour of his much more busy soccer figure schedule. Music was easy, yet tasty and I even learned a lot. I left that project after a year and a half. Would have been a nice project in the long run, a marathon vs. a sprint run which, in turn, the new project turned out to be. I made 2 LPs and some 300 concerts with the (then) new project but personal relationships made it a painful 3 years to live for me until the inevitable happened, we all had awful abuse situations with the BL and ended up badly burnt with so much B/S. Funny thing is I could tell that guy was trouble (besides being a mediocre illiterate) no later than a month after first meeting him. Just was blinded by greed => BAD CHOICE that impacted my life for years even after it was over.

    Can't really give you any other advice than that, keep it on with the best most honest people possible. Makes your day to day comfortable and enjoyable.

    Now, if it's not about a music career choice then I've just lost some 10 minutes and probably look stupid now.

    EDIT: I think the first memory of a post of yours I might have is that thread about a girl you played with who wouldn't split the money people left in the jar/hat/mug/plate, maybe some 10/11 years ago? Keep it up pal ;-)
    Scatabrain likes this.
  15. Joe,

    Do you really think you're the first person to fall out of love with their Rickenbacker after posting so many love soliloquies?

    It'll be OK.
  16. Michael B

    Michael B

    Dec 16, 2015
    Lowell, MA
    ADDENDUM: I hope you can share later when the decision time has passed. As others have said, your posts/experiences are great to read.
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
  17. jthisdell


    Jun 12, 2014
    Roanoke, VA
    This is from Coldplay's new album. I think it may give a little perspective to your thoughts and feelings, as yes, they are all unique to each of us. While we may be in similar circumstances, the way we feel about it and think about it and react to it is always different.

    This being Human is a Guesthouse
    Every morning, a new arrival
    A Joy
    A Depression
    A Meanness
    Some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor
    Welcome, and entertain them all
    Be grateful for whoever comes
    Because each has been sent as a God
  18. Tough to put such a cryptic post into perception Joe.
    Here are 3 possible answers .....
    #1 ditch the couch and buy a Laz-E-Boy.
    #2 designer underwear can pinch, try one size up.
    #3 your BMW mechanic is not a crook, he's just following orders.
  19. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Inactive

    Oct 1, 2010
    There's nothing for it. It's all your wife's fault. She's a bum. Dump her. You can do better.
  20. Darth Handsome

    Darth Handsome Inactive

    Oct 1, 2010
    Yo yo Coolio. Wanna make out later?
    blastbass and Immigrant like this.
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