Name the funniest one you can think of. Mine....Quagmire"Hmm, that was strangely arousing,*SLAM* AHH!!!. Hello 911, yeah it's Quagmire, uh huh, yeah yeah, it's in a window this time"
Saddam in pool, speaking of "kramer" on "seinfield" : "You know when he go into a room he like OH HHH OHHHH*Eyes wide open*AHHHH I can't do it but you know."
"Hey lewis, new swimming in my pool unless a lifegaurds on duty....hurhur, duty...hurhur, diaheera...hey lewis, diareeah.." The only one I can remeber at the moment
to brian: holy crap! ...you can talk! Tom: Our top story tonight: the rules of death no longer apply. Diane: that's right Tom, and here with the story is our own Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa who filed it ALL BY HERSELF!
Peter: I'm gonna do something i've always wanted to do... I'm gonna jump off this building! *points to the fleet bank building.. all the Rhode Islanders know the one i'm talking about* *peter lands* Hey look! I beat my lugie! *lugie lands on peters head*
Stewie to his Charades partner, who kept yelling, "Is it a jackal?": "If it wasn't right the first time you said it, why in THE HELL did you think it would be the next ten times?! God!"
Peter:"hey, why dontcha make like siamese twins and split? yeah, and then one of ya die." Quagmire: "does this look like a Q? how about now?" Meg:"tell chris to stop drawing pictures of my head on a pig's body!" Chris:"DON'T CENSOR ME!" they're all great. i'll think of more later.
From the King and Me episode: Peter: "Heh... hey Lois... where you there when i farted?" :.S.- apply a huge Boston accent to that... it makes it 10x funnier::
"You cant park your van on the diving board" "That is not a van, its my son!" "Oh its just a fat kid! Thats right fatty, fatty fat mcfatty fat fatty. hear have some chocolate fatty" "thanks!" ------- "ok i'll be Charlie and you can all be my angels. except you. you be Bosley."
Stewie trying to bribe a customs agent: "Let me in, I'll give anything you want! Money, power, women........men?" Another Stewie quote: "Oh, this calls for a sexy party!"
Stewie: I'll ruin you like I ruined John Lennon *flashback to Stewie introducting John and Yoko to each other*
it's not a quote but Quagmire's attack of shame, guilt and disgust when he found out Hanson were boys was hilarious. Peter exploring his feminine side: "oh, Beans!" Stewie: "why this morning I was pink as a pistol. Pink as a pistol!? my god, I can't even form a proper simile"
Young Peter Griffin: Why did all the dinosaurs die? Museum Curator: Because you touch yourself at night. I love Family Guy!
Peter-Don't let them get to you, you just come from a long line of husky Griffin's, like your great great uncle Jabba de Griffin Jabba de Griffin- Rosana ballhaneis shun banooga wookie nipple pinchy
from the leafers episode: Quagmire:WHOA! Transvestite!.....wait; pre-op or post-op?" Transvestite:"Pre-op." Quagmire:"WHOA! Transvestite!"