Family Guy quotes

Saddam in pool, speaking of "kramer" on "seinfield" : "You know when he go into a room he like OH HHH OHHHH*Eyes wide open*AHHHH I can't do it but you know."

 

"Hey lewis, new swimming in my pool unless a lifegaurds on duty....hurhur, duty...hurhur, diaheera...hey lewis, diareeah.."

The only one I can remeber at the moment

 

to brian: holy crap! ...you can talk!

Tom: Our top story tonight: the rules of death no longer apply.
Diane: that's right Tom, and here with the story is our own Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa who filed it ALL BY HERSELF!

 

see my sig and avatar.

 

*tour bus pulls up and Hanson get out*

Peter: Holy crap! It's the children of the corn!

 

Peter: I'm gonna do something i've always wanted to do... I'm gonna jump off this building! *points to the fleet bank building.. all the Rhode Islanders know the one i'm talking about*

*peter lands* Hey look! I beat my lugie! *lugie lands on peters head*

 

Stewie to his Charades partner, who kept yelling, "Is it a jackal?": "If it wasn't right the first time you said it, why in THE HELL did you think it would be the next ten times?! God!"

 

Peter:"hey, why dontcha make like siamese twins and split? yeah, and then one of ya die."

Quagmire: "does this look like a Q? how about now?"

Meg:"tell chris to stop drawing pictures of my head on a pig's body!"
Chris:"DON'T CENSOR ME!"


they're all great. i'll think of more later.

 

From the King and Me episode:

Peter: "Heh... hey Lois... where you there when i farted?" :.S.- apply a huge Boston accent to that... it makes it 10x funnier::

 

"You cant park your van on the diving board"
"That is not a van, its my son!"
"Oh its just a fat kid! Thats right fatty, fatty fat mcfatty fat fatty. hear have some chocolate fatty"
"thanks!"

-------
"ok i'll be Charlie and you can all be my angels. except you. you be Bosley."

 

do you remember the one were the security guys thought Chris was stealing hams under his shirt?

 

Stewie trying to bribe a customs agent: "Let me in, I'll give anything you want! Money, power, women........men?"

Another Stewie quote: "Oh, this calls for a sexy party!"

 

Stewie: I'll ruin you like I ruined John Lennon

*flashback to Stewie introducting John and Yoko to each other*

 

Quagmire - "I felt guilty once but she woke up halfway through."

 

it's not a quote but Quagmire's attack of shame, guilt and disgust when he found out Hanson were boys was hilarious.

Peter exploring his feminine side: "oh, Beans!"

Stewie: "why this morning I was pink as a pistol. Pink as a pistol!? my god, I can't even form a proper simile"

 

Young Peter Griffin: Why did all the dinosaurs die?
Museum Curator: Because you touch yourself at night.
I love Family Guy!

 

from the leafers episode:
Quagmire:WHOA! Transvestite!.....wait; pre-op or post-op?"
Transvestite:"Pre-op."
Quagmire:"WHOA! Transvestite!"