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Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jive1, Apr 11, 2005.
the only farting going on was my old amp, i took it WAY past the TOF
I got recruited to play some folk tunes for this union function at a holiday inn. I let a few rip and afterwards the acoustic guitarist asks me... SH*T MAN! WHO WAS BACK THERE FARTING? I've got to say, we bassists seem to be blowing people away.
Been there, done that. I'm quite comfortable with my gaseous emissions. The other day, I was rehearsing with a drummer and a friend who was *ahem* "scatting" over a D&B jam, and just after the drummer's solo in the 1 beat pause, our "scatting" friend put the mic to his tuckus and let one loose. I nearly fell off of my amp (sitting on it) laughing, and we couldn't keep playing for a good five minutes or so.
Well, sure you are! Flati always smell good to the perp.
I like Billy Crystal's, "Whuuhh, it smells like a POSSUM EXPLODED or something."
Company intercoms also work well for amplification. Nothing quite like lighting up an entire walmart all at once.
I am an expert in the fine art of farting, then playing stupid. I almost never claim it, I like to leave my little (or not so little) gifts anonomously. When I was in the Navy on submarines a buddy of mine farted into an empty Pringles can, capped it and ran up to the control room and unleashed hell on the occupants of the room by removing the cap and waving it around. I always admired that.
Or, "everyone always loves the smell of their own brand" Fat Bastard
LOL I have a good one! The last time we were in the studio i crawled into the singing booth. For those of you that havent been to a studio this room is air tight. I funked that room up so bad the foam on the walls was melting. Anyways the singer was paying for a good part of the time in there so he had to do it. I wish i kept the master track because after each track or session you could here him in there whining like a baby!
I Presume you do the honor of letting one RIP the silent way
You know the moto " Silent butt violent "
or " Loud butt proud "
I once cleared the room at band practice with one that stank like rotten eggs mixed with dog crap. Mine are truly vile smelling.
Crop spraying is derigeur in the musician fraternity. One of the guys I play with has a strict rule about farting on stage. He can't handle it.
I am fortunate to say that my farts don't smell, so it's not a problem.
I'm able to do that in under 10 seconds. (and we have to leave for at least 10-15mins because mine tend to linger)
It sounds like you just nominated yourself.
Ill have to remember to bomb my drummer on Saturday.
Man i bet ol les claypool could kill a horse or two!
I don't have any good farting stories, but I do know a guy who can fart on command.
Now that's talent
There was this guy I used to work with at the Naval Shipyard...he would pass gas, get his head down there & inhale, & then blow it out, basically, in his victim's face..
The drummer is too easy a target, guys, C'mon.
IMO, the best victim is the lead vocalist as he's doing his big, mid-set ballad number.
Another friend of mine was known for doing that, too.
His band was the house band in a Va. Beach bar...always packed, bodies to bodies, the kinda place that took you about 20 minutes to squirm through the crowd to the bathrooms(We called it "Takin' a Lap").
Anyway, me & another friend are talking on his break...& then I noticed 'that look' on a couple chicks' faces & then I get a whiff.
(I noticed the eventual culprit had made a quick exit)
So I ask the remaining friend, "What was that"!
He said, ***damn, Peter"!
This guy "Peter" once tried to light one with a car's cigarette lighter while driving to a gig. Classic.
FYI, in case anyone didn't know.
Though sound and light travel in waves of energy, scent travels through particles. That means when you smell a fart, tiny particles of a$$ and digestive tract make their way into your nose. I make a point to remind people of that when I accidentally cut one loose.
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