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Farting during a show

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jive1, Apr 11, 2005.

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  1. srxplayer


    May 19, 2004
    Highland, CA
    I hate that that when someone farts and you get a whiff of it. Think about it... You just inhaled some gross methane mixture out of somones lower GI track. You just sucked it into your lungs. Thats like second hand smoke only it came from someones butt. It can't be good for you.

    Don't get me wrong. I still think it's funny. I will never outgrow fart humor most men never do.
    joebar likes this.
  2. JimK


    Dec 12, 1999
    ...and those tiny particles erupt outta the commode whenever(IF) you flush. The particles can end up in places you wouldn't want, too
    Like your toothbrush.
    I told my mom this...she said, "That's why I taught you to always put the lid down when you flushed"!

    There's this other guy that would gag & get dry heaves whenever he got a whiff of somebody's particles.
  3. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    it's even worse if you're sick.

    as if y'all werent allready.......
  4. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    From my extensive research (or something I just happened to read once :D ), I have found the best way to capture the "essence" to share at a later time, is in the tub with an air tight jar. Place the open end of the jar just into the water, and capture the bubbles. Seal lid, and enjoy.

    I know I have said this before, but this is really.......BEST THREAD EVER!
  5. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Why is it that when you are at the urinals and someone in the urinal next to you lets rip with an absolute paint peeler, that you cant even laugh or raise an eyebrow? Sometimes im struggling to keep myself from bursting out laughing, but some kind of toilet protocol says you cant laugh at farts in the head.

    I dont get it!
    joebar likes this.
  6. cheezewiz


    Mar 27, 2002

    I take the opposite approach. I am quite proud of my emissions, and often celebrate them. My wife LOVES it (not) when we'll be in a store or other public place, and I'll walk up, usually right next to some woman, young or old, that looks like she has the whole "superiority thing" going, and let one rip. Once I get "the look" from the hoity toity beetch, I will smile and say YES..GOOD ONE! and celebrate my befouling of her.
  7. Subatomic Fecium particles. Yikes.
  8. JimK


    Dec 12, 1999
    I have always wanted to load up on some cheese, broccoli, eggs, etc ...let it ferment a day or two & then leave a Peppy Lepeu vapor trail in the Perfume section at one of those stores like Dillards or Nordstroms.
    carl h. likes this.
  9. If you can smell up a perfume/scented candle store, you need a pat on the back.
    joebar likes this.
  10. PunkerTrav


    Jul 18, 2001
    Canada & USA
    This friday, I met a guy who can suck farts UP his ass on command. :eek: :eek:
  11. cgworkman


    May 14, 2004
    I think I'm gonna be sick :p
  12. greg


    Jun 1, 2004
    Times like this really make me want to hug you guys and give a good ol' pat on the back....
    except now even if we all are in the same place we will all be farting and laughing about it....
  13. tplyons


    Apr 6, 2003
    Madison, NJ
    ROFL! That's probably the funniest thing I've read in a LONG TIME!

    Though this isn't a good thread to be reading while giving serious advice to a friend... LOL
  14. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
  15. Yes, but light waves sometimes act like waves, other times act like particles, its not known whether light is really a wave or a particle, or something else (strings) that only appear to be waves or particles depending on the experiment. The particle of light are called "photons", and the particles of farts are called "phunktons".

  16. KeithPas


    May 16, 2000
    When I was in the Navy I would harass the shipmates in various and generally tasteless ways. My favorite was to catch a fart in the cupped hand and walk up behind a sitting shipmate and open the hand in the face. This would result in hilarious fits of choking, profanity and laughter. I used to joke that if I ever ate Borscht and pickled eggs I might be able to actually hurl the farts, almost super-hero like.
  17. srxplayer


    May 19, 2004
    Highland, CA
    Thats true but I still can't help it. I start laughing.
  18. Roundwound


    May 13, 2004
    Peoria, IL
    I was in the men's restroom at work the other day, totally thinking I had the whole place to myself. So I let it rip while at the urinal, foot raised and all...It was very lengthy. Suddenly I heard a guy snickering from one of the stalls, and I thought OH XXXT! So I quickly finished up and bolted out of there. It would have been awkward had a co-worker popped out of the stall.

    It's usually me or the keyboard player competing for bragging rights at practice and gigs, but he wins the odor competition. Mine sound better.
  19. I remember, one gig we where wearing those mic's that attatch to ones collar, so that mic stands ar not needed. During this gig I waited for a loud moment and let out a ripsnorter that would have vibrated the room more than a very large ampeg cab+head up full blast. I thought that the heavy music was to cover it up, however it was very very loud, it reverberated around the room, the music stopped, and I burst into tears of joyous laughter at my distant praticled emmission. I had no idea until about a minute later when i tried to sing, that the mic had fallen off my shirt, hooked around my belt and slowly made its way over to my rear end, so the the mic was just over the missile launcher. Ah, i never tire of laughing at that.
    carl h. likes this.
  20. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia

    I did some of my best work in my first car - a Suburu with electric windows. Fill it with friends, then lock the windows so no-one can open them. Drop your guts, and quickly ask if anyone else in the car can spell petrol (gas). Everyone in the car cops a simultaneous lung-full of my home-brew. And you should see the faces they pull when they realise the windows won't open............ ahhhhh to be young and stupid again!
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