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Fat dudes, what do you wear on stage?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Stinsok, Sep 17, 2008.


  1. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    I'm fat (and old) and looking to change my look without appearing stupid. I saw a video of us playing and I was wearing shorts. Seemed cool at the time, but it really didn't look right. Whatcha wearing?
     
  2. lefty007

    lefty007

    Jan 19, 2004
    Miami, FL
    Pants.

    Most importantly, wear clothes your size. A nice and light short-sleeve shirt is still comfortable and looks better than a plain T-shirt.

    I don't know what your style is, but I shop here sometimes:

    www.rei.com

    http://www.rei.com/search?search=Men%27s+Button-Front+Shirts&cat=4500259&cat=4501437&hist=cat%2C4500259%3AShirts^search%2CMen%27s+Button-Front+Shirts^cat%2C4501437%3AButton-Front+Short-Sleeve+Shirts

    They have plus sizes. Some shirts can seem expensive, but they are high quality and last a long time, and they have some that are fabulously light, for the hot weather.

    Hope that helps.
     
  3. kruger.
     
  4. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Shirts: Bowling shirts, guyabaras (sp?) and hockey jerseys work on a big guy, up to a point. I'm a bit over 300 lbs and I don't look silly in either one yet, but I worry that I might soon.

    Pants: No shorts. Trust me. :rollno: But some long pants will look just as wrong. My fall back choice is any of a few pair of khaki BDU pants I bought from a local military surplus store about a bazillion years ago. I had a job for a while that mandated khaki pants and most everyone had Dockers type pants, but they looked really wrong on me. I bought a bunch of the BDU style pants and still have three or four pairs.

    Footgear: Just don't do the sandals and socks thing. Ever. Other than that, just do what you like. Barefoot is a popular choice. But you'll regret it eventually. Most bars have broken glass somewhere on the floor.

    Hats: Nearly any hat you like will make you look like an idiot on a gig. Just accept it and embrace your inner nerd.
     
  5. bobba66

    bobba66

    May 18, 2006
    Arlington, Texas
    Latex, codpiece,etc.
     
  6. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    In the summertime? Khaki shorts and a short sleeve button down shirt (sometimes Hawaiian) or a Polo shirt.

    In cooler weather? Jeans and a similar shirt.
     
  7. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    Ohio
    Football or Hockey jerseys work on guys of all sizes. Of course, they must be Green Bay Packers or Detroit Red Wings.
     
  8. sarcastro83

    sarcastro83

    Jul 27, 2007
    Toronto, ON
    druid robes...
     
  9. Tenma4

    Tenma4

    Jan 26, 2006
    St. Louis, MO
    Typical for me is khaki or or denim shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, a Kenyan bead necklace, freshly shaved head and face, sport socks, sport sandals.

    :hyper:
     
  10. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    How about a Moo Moo?
    homer-simpson-fat.
     
  11. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Naw, dude. Cowboys and Stars. Get it right. :D
     
  12. Eric Moesle

    Eric Moesle Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2001
    Columbus OH
    Shorts always look bad onstage unless you're in your 20's and playing in a punk or hard rock band. Shorts NEVER work for an older, overweight guy.

    I weigh 290lbs and I play in a band that has thin guys and a following of girls, so I'm always looking for ways to appear thinner and not look too bad in relation to the other band guys.

    First, I always wear black. Black is thinning. I stay away from thin material shirts as they tend to show "the rolls", especially love handles and man-teats, ESPECIALLY when I'm sweating. I wear thicker, stiffer materials. Too tight is bad and shows the fat, and too loose makes me look even bigger than I am - so its always a careful line to walk.

    Long-sleeve shirts, even when rolled up, look better than short sleeve shirts on a big guy. Don't take my word for it, try both and take a picture of yourself in the mirror. In cooler weather I wear a black blazer, looks stylish either with a T-shirt underneath or a button-up not tucked in, with jeans, either blue jeans or black jeans. You can wear a blazer and play in a grunge band or a "preppie" band, it always works. I've also found I look thinner with jeans that don't have a baggy butt area. Again, too tight looks bad as well. Longer shirts are better than short shirts - the longer shirts give a thinner profile illusion.

    Unfortunately comfort is usually the last on my list. In the words of Billy Crystal as Fernando Llamas: "it is much better to look good, than to feel good". Its too bad that most people listen with their eyes, so its just as important to look like a good musician as it is to be a good musician.
     
  13. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    I used to be a believer in black clothes on stage, too. And I wore a lot of blazers for the very reasons you do as well...then someone took a video of one of our gigs. I saw the video. I was wearing black pants, black shoes, a black blazer over a kind of bright blue shirt, and playing a black bass with black hardware and an ebony fretboard in front of a black wall.

    I was a little head-shaped balloon with a bright blue tail, floating near my mic stand. The rest of me was invisible. Poof! I disappeared, sort of.

    Now I never wear all black on stage. And I never play a black bass anymore. Natural finishes and khaki pants are a winner. Jeans are good, but only if they are not too dark.
     
  14. Lazylion

    Lazylion Goin ahead on wit my bad self!

    Jan 25, 2006
    Frederick MD USA
    If you're over 70, you can probably get away with it. They'll be so impressed that you can stand up that long, they won't notice what's on your feet!
    A cowboy hat at a country gig is OK.

    Here's how worried I am about looking cool: I just got a hat that looks like a cheeseburger. Everybody knows the babes like a confident guy, and only a supremely confident guy would wear that! :p
     
  15. daishiki works well, but only if you're in a neo-hippie jam band. hockey jerseys are great too. plain black t-shirt, baggy with a pair of jeans is simple but effective. I find it helps to play up the big, bad, don't mess with me thing. Shave the head, grow a goatee. Definitely NO to shorts, unless they're really baggy and hang below the knees. Expose the calfs and all is fine. Any more than that just looks fat.
     
  16. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    toms_river.nj.us
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    Khaki cargo pants and a muted polo... similar to my everyday work outfits.
     
  17. Bard2dbone

    Bard2dbone

    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Actually a lot of that holds up. :eek: I'm not a dashiki kind of guy, though. About the strangest 'ethnic clothing' I could get away with is a kilt. But that's because I can do the 'big, bad. don't-mess-with-me thing' fairly convincingly.

    Still along the lines of the kilt and the long baggy shorts: I probably would benefit from showing my calfs. They're huge. Basically my calfs and forearms are still buff, while the rest of me has gone to hell.
     
  18. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I've rocked the dashiki before! I had to hang it up after a few shows. I got some pretty strange looks.....
     
  19. Dogsferatu

    Dogsferatu

    May 22, 2007
    Austin, TX
    I have the problem that half my gigs are outdoor gigs and here in Austin those can be really hot and humid, so it's always shorts and t-shirt (if possible) if it's a dress up gig outdoors then i generally wear cotton slacks and a nice beach type shirt (not really hawaiian but more panama joe type.....
    I generally wear darker colors so when you sweat you don't have wet patches everywhere.. especially when you pull your bass off at break and you have your bass mark on your tummy...
    I never got a really good look that I was satisfied with ...
    but I have come to the realization that
    1) only I look for me in photos and
    2) everyone is focused on the lead singer or guitarist (no matter who I back up) I guess until I'm in an actual band I will watch what I wear... but for now its what the boss tells me to wear...!
     

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