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Fathers (Hate Em?)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by darkfish01, Jun 3, 2007.


  1. darkfish01

    darkfish01

    Feb 11, 2005
    San Marcos, Tx
    I was just wondering how many of us TB'ers don't have relationships with their fathers due to divorce-related issues?
     
  2. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Inactive

    Mar 3, 2006
    Auburn, Washington
    Dad's still in my life, but almost like a background character. We almost never talk, and never do anything together. Oh yeah, we live in the same house.

    I don't know. He means the best for me, but it's hard to get emotionally connected to someone who just doesn't seem to have emotions. It's very weird.

    Also, there was the time where my mom got some sharp stomach pains (docs still don't know why it happened...), to the point where she was on the ground writhing in pain and instead of rushing her to the hospital, he had to decide which shirt to wear. I will NEVER forgive him for that.
     
  3. ROON

    ROON

    Aug 5, 2006
    Sydney, Australia
    I'm in the same situation as you, indeed it is a very weird feeling. I love my dad, I know he loves me back too. But we just don't connect. We talk and occasionly do things together, but most of the time we will have a chat for about 2 minutes a day then we will both go and do our own thing.
     
  4. My parents have recently (around christmas) got divorced. Its been weird, but I still have a really good relationship with my both of my parents. I love them both.

    I guess even though my parents are divorced, I'm still pretty lucky. Everyone gets along.
     
  5. jamontap

    jamontap Supporting Member

    May 26, 2007
    Cartersville, GA
    My dad's da bomb diggity.
     
  6. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Inactive

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    Why don't you try and find it in your heart to forgive him? Maybe if you take that step you can go some distance to repairing your relationship!
     
  7. plexibass

    plexibass

    Jun 30, 2005
    hey, so is my dad!!!!:D
     
  8. keb

    keb

    Mar 30, 2004
    My dad taught me many valuable life lessons, not the least of which the proper way to grill the perfect burger.
     
  9. jady

    jady

    Jul 21, 2006
    Modesto, CA
    For most of my life I hated my father, It was only in the last 4-5 years that our relationship has gotten pretty good (I am 35).

    Poops, give it time, I am not saying to blindly forgive and forget but over time people and things change. Hopefully in the years to come events will occur that can bring you 2 a bit closer. Maybe not but it is nice when that can happen..............
     
  10. I don't see myself getting close to my father anytime soon. He cheated on my mother, lied to us for many months, spent all of his money on this woman, including whatever retirement money he had, moved from New York to California to be with her, and then she ditched him. When my parents were getting divorced he even had the balls to try to take the house from my mother, despite the fact that she paid for a lot of it and was getting custody of me and my brother.

    He has made an incredible amount of mistakes, and I do still talk to him on the phone occasionally, and after about 2 years he does realize what he has done, but I still want no part with him.

    Even when he was still part of the family, he wasn't. He is a work-aholic, and we just never had a very strong connection. I don't know what the future will hold, but for now, I really don't mind never seeing him and barely talking to him.
     
  11. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Inactive

    Mar 3, 2006
    Auburn, Washington
    Because I asked him once why he did that instead of just rushing her to the hospital while we were driving to Home Depot for some stuff. His response? "Be quiet or I'll throw you out of the car."
     
  12. My parents divorced when I was 18. My mother called me while I was trying to finish basic training for the air force to tell me. That wasn't easy. I didn't end up making it in anyway (regardless of that).

    My Dad and I had a stand offish relationship. We loved each other but there was a period of little to no contact. A year into renewing it, he died of bowel cancer, 6 months after losing my Mum.

    Today I wish I had maintained a better relationship with both of them.
     
  13. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    i've seen my dad once in the last 18 years of his life. i had no interest in attending his funeral
     
  14. Vince S.

    Vince S. Resident Former Bassist

    Jan 24, 2003
    I wouldn't say I hate my father, but I certainly do get along much better with my mother than my father.

    My dad has always been a work-aholic, and I realize he needs to work to provide for the family. However, he and I never really talked or had any sort of bond. I've tried to reach out to him several times, and each time he would push me away. If I were to ever try to engage in conversation with him or ask him to do something with me, he'd act annoyed and basically tell me to go away. He's done so since I was a young child.

    My sister gets it worse though. My dad has a very conservative, Chinese view, and sees women as inferior to men. He treats my sister like absolute crap, and tells her she'll never amount to anything. I can already see so many signs of damaged self-esteem in her. I hate it.:scowl:
     
  15. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    So what was it? The pains, not the shirt.
     
  16. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    It's funny. My relationship with my dad was OK (can't say the same about my mother), but nothing special. He died in 1990, and I don't particularly miss him.

    Anyway, I try very hard to correct that with my daughter. I am at almost every school function, softball game, and soccer game. I make sure I tell her I love her every single day. Today we're going on a bike ride.

    I also discipline her for her mistakes. I'm sure there's something I do that'll give her some psychological glitch, but she has high self-esteem and the knowledge that her parents and extended family love her.
     
  17. My folks are together still...

    My old man and I don't socialize at all. I'm 2 hours from him and in the almost 10 years I've owned my home, he's never visited. I go see him and my Mom on occasion and call my Mom at least once a month.

    I'm 39
     
  18. disenchant

    disenchant You can't plagiarize yourself.

    Aug 9, 2006
    Elgin, IL
    My dad and I didn't have much of a relationship when I was growing up, but it wasn't until I was out of the house that I realized that most of our strife was due to my mom trying to keep us from being close. Maybe some mother-daughter jealousy? I used to help my father fix things around the house, I was his helper and quite good with power tools. Plus I was his little girl and he'd give me anything I wanted. My mom used to tell me all sorts of bad things that my father supposidly said, and I think she did the same to him so for a long time we didn't get along.

    Now that I'm out of the house I talk to my dad when mom's not around and if she starts crap, I call her on it. She has definitely backed off now that I know her game and my father and I get along great.

    I think dads and daughters have a special relationship, and I can see why a certain type of woman could easily get jealous.
     
  19. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Inactive

    Mar 3, 2006
    Auburn, Washington
    No frickin' clue. They took out her galbladder (I think) but it didn't help. The best bet is that it's because she's nervous all the time (lots of crap with my dad and especially his family) and it got to her. It happened a few years before that, too. Very weird.
     
  20. I live with my parents and we've never really been all that close, we're just very different people altogether and can't relate to one another all that much. But we care about each other and get along great. I don't really even see them or talk to them all that much even though we live together.
     
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Jan 22, 2021

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