Favorite "Heckle" to friends' bands...

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!"

Especially effective at punk and hardcore shows.

 

My friend's band was playing around Christmas time, and his pants kept falling down.

Yes, you read that right, he would be standing there playing and *floof!* they'd drop to the floor and he'd be standing there in his boxers. He'd pull them up again, finish the song, then at the beginning of the next one his pants fell down again. This happened a total of 4 times (inclusive) during the night.

No one really said too much about it...it was a little too surreal for anyone to comprehend.

 

Our response to that heckle is usually to give them the middle finger and say "no charge".

 

At heavy shows:

ABBBBBBBBBBBA!!!

At folk shows:

SLAYYYYYYYYER!!!

 

STAIRWAY TO FREEBIRD!!!
-Or-
Here in NOLA "Saints"!!! (When the Saints Go Marching In)

 

usually something like "take of your shirt!" or "i want to bear your children!"
something along those lines...

 

I've been known to yell Angel of Death or Raining Blood on occasion. Wouldn't my face be red if someone actually knew them.

 

If they ask for requests ask them to play" In the Lobby" ( works better at hotel bars)

 

Another "request" comeback: "Take a break!"

 

Yep. That's about the standard here as well.

Of course, it's fun to see the jaws of the crowd drop when a death metal band breaks out in the first 15-20 seconds of it...

 

"PLAY ONE THE DRUMMER KNOWS!!!"

or with my friends' melodic instrumental band (think mogwai + sigur ros):

"PLAY SOME MORE 20 MINUTE SONGS"

 

Dude, that's cold!

 

"Hey - what'dya do with the money?!?"

Confused look from the bandstand - "What money?"

"The money your mom gave ya for music lessons!"

 

ditto

 

Just stare at them from the front row... and point.

 

On the other hand, if they are sounding really great...yell out, "I'll have what the band is having!"

 

"How About Tuning!!"

 

...oh man, do you have any idea how many times I hadda play that when I gigged in the 'Quarter?



...and "Blueberry Hill"...