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Favorite Non Famous Quote

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Matt Till, Apr 26, 2005.


  1. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    Yes it can include Talkbass, but no movies, no books, no TV shows... because I think the funniest quotes come from true life.

    To get an obvious one out of the way "Pile Drivingly Heavy..."

    Next: My friend was coloring in a coloring book, "Super Mario Brothers the Movie." And while trying to explain how the movie should have gone, he said, "I just don't think the world was ready for Mario Brothers the Movie"

    A PO'ed redneck Walmart customer (who I assure you was in the wrong on this one) pointed at me and yelled, "You're what's wrong with America!" And it was because I inconvieneced him for 5 seconds and he thought I swore... but I didn't say anything.


    None of these will probably be funny to anyone but the poster.. but go ahead.
     
  2. "Empanadas?"
     
  3. ONYX

    ONYX

    Apr 14, 2000
    Michigan
    I don't remember where I heard this, ( it was back it the early 80's) but I live by it:

    "Never enough time to do it right. Always enough time to do it over. "
     
  4. After a number of beers, a group of us decided to try to pick up and move a friend's Geo Tracker (he had left the car at my house). The first attempt yeilded nothing but laughter and cursing. The next one began with a friend summoning his strength by exclaiming "By the Power of Weed-Skull!!!" That phrase has stuck in our circle for 10 years.

    Mike
     
  5. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    HA, I just remebered one. My brother Erik left his penny jar (he's a little kid, he was about 7 or 8 when this happened) on top of the stairs. My dad didn't notice it and tripped on it and fell down stairs. My dad is sprawled on the floor surrounded by pennies and broken a ceramic pig. Myself and my brothers surround him, Erik then yelled, "Oh no! My pennies!!"
     
  6. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Robert Heinlein

    " TANSTAAFL "

    There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
     
  7. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz

    Mar 27, 2002
    Ohio
    My alltime favorite, which I use frequently in response to the exclamation "I PAY YOUR SALARY" is...

    "THEY DON'T TAKE TAX OUT OF WELFARE CHECKS"
     
  8. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    I agree with Cheezwiz...
     
  9. hetsscaryguy

    hetsscaryguy

    May 22, 2004
    Ireland
    my first one is from a teacher in my school who said in a woodwork class "careful with the wood lads, its not like t grows on trees" and he was serious, coz then he got all embarassed.

    the second was when i was walking down a street in dublin, one of those people came up from a charity agency trying to get you to sign up to a standing order with them, they went up to my fiend and said "hey could you spare a minute" to which my friend replied "oh god no, ihate poor people" i have never laughed so much in my entire life. he has so many more of these great quotes but i just cant remember any more.
     
  10. fraublugher

    fraublugher

    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    "Boldly shooting my mouth off on the internet since 1994."


    secretdonkey
     
  11. hahaha, that's awesome.
     
  12. "Know how we learned about sex back in my day? In the back seat of a Buick!"

    -Mr. Bowens, my favorite subsitute. This guy has all the stories.
     
  13. Petary791

    Petary791

    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    Edit: (BB) Not only was the quote lame, it violated the posting guidelines. Mind your language or don't post at all.

    My e-buddy Kenjin.
     
  14. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    Was riding with a friend of mine and he looks over and sees this bigwig executive type in a convertible BMW and said "Look at me, sold the firm today, got the top down and living it up"; I was in tears. His delivery, timing, and phrasing was perfect.
     
  15. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    "We daaaaamn sessy."
     
  16. Thee

    Thee

    Feb 11, 2004
    San Luis Obispo, CA
    "hey colin this is your doctor just callin about you colon cancer."
     
  17. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Television continues to thrive. One 15 minute nightly newscast, barely visible through the smokey haze of it's cigarette company benefactor, has evolved into a multi-channel 24-hour-a-day infotastic cluster**** of factish-like material.

    "America The Book."
     
  18. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Pick up the audio book, too. It's largely the same, but hearing John Stewart and co. actually read the book is actually funnier than the book itself. The book, however, has a bunch of visual stuff (graphs, etc) to make it worth as well.

    Listening to the audio book now. Again. It never fails to make me laugh.
     
  19. "I had this doctor that I had to go to for a colonoscopy. His name was Dr. Packer."

    -My friend Jeremy.
     
  20. DanGouge

    DanGouge

    May 25, 2000
    Canada!
    From my buddy Jason:

    You have one hope for survival.... Nothing!

    It was supposed be the catch-phrase of a particularly evil movie villain.