Fighting for your spot in the band...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Spinal Tapper, Jul 16, 2008.

  1. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    *Sorry for the lengthy post*

    I've been with my band over 2 years. We've played a ton of kick ass gigs, just recorded our 3rd EP, and are really starting to get a lot of name recognition around our city. I'm one of the original founders of the group - and we've only changed drummers once a year ago.

    My band got invited to play a gig in a couple months that I will be out of town for at a wedding in South Carolina - as I stated on our band Gmail calendar weeks ago. It's an opportunity to open for a major label band at a very popular college campus - there will be thousands in attendance. Here's the problem...

    My guitar player just recently moved into a "jamhouse" with his best friend who's an amazing musician. He's played bass for some really great local bands. He's also built like a runway model and has the charm of James Bond. He does a lot of managerial stuff too like booking and he knows tons of people. He offered to fill in the gig on bass if I can't make it (which I obviously they know I can't).

    Is this the beginning of the end? Have you guys been in this position? How has it turned out? Does someone REALLY just fill in for ONE gig??? Or am I just being paranoid???
  2. Dogbertday

    Dogbertday Commercial User

    Jul 10, 2007
    SE Wisconsin
    Blaine Music LLC
    Yes... people fill in for just one gig. At east that's been my experience. I know If I got an awesome gig with a band and the guitarist couldn't come I'd find the best damn replacement for that gig to make my band look as good as possible... and for efficient learning of the music

    I wouldn't be worried. Just remember, he's playing YOUR songs.
  3. ryan(MAIDEN)


    Jan 27, 2008
    could you beat him up or intimidate him???
  4. 51m0n


    Jun 30, 2005
    Yup, my band at the mo have a stand in Hammond player.

    He happens to also be the best all round musician I've ever personally met:-
    Masters in music
    primary instrument, cello (he has a really wonderful cello)
    also plays guitar,bass,drums & percussion,piano,keys,horns (really, all of them), and sings lead in his own band (whilst playing guitar)

    to a grade 8 or above standard. No kidding, he's a true monster musician.

    He taught me at college, lovely guy.

    Our keyboard player understands that this is the very best replacement we could get. For any of us!

    Its not an issue.
  5. 69nites


    Jul 11, 2006
    it's just a fill in because you can't be there

    the only thing that would make me nervous is if you COULD be there and they wanted someone to fill in ;)
  6. Yes this could be bad news, sorry. The fact that you are an original member wont help much. Bands don't belong to anyone or any group of original members. I've sort of been through this before. A band can kick out the lead singer who also happens to be the original composing member if it wants. There really are no rules when it comes to this kind of stuff its a brutal thing. Best of luck though, I hope it works out well for you and your band.
  7. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Yea, I told the band to do what they need to do for what's best for our band name. And my "replacement" is one of the best rock bass players I've met. I agreed to help him out learning my parts if he needs. Trying to be a good sport about it - just don't want this to be the beginning of my demise.
  8. Sahm


    Dec 18, 2007
    Delaware, OH
    What does your gut tell you? You know these better than we do! If you think you're getting replace, then mentally prepare for it, so it's not as devastaing. At the very least, you'll know they weren't your friends, and it didn't happen while giggin on the road!
  9. CapnSev


    Aug 19, 2006
    Coeur d'Alene
    You just have to trust in your band's integrity. A good friend/bandmate will have the decency to realize that you are an important piece of this band. (All this depends on whether you guys all get along well and are on the same page with each other to begin with)

    If not, then you should probably be looking for a new band anyway.
  10. What makes you think they're looking to get rid of you?
  11. QORC


    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    Oh yeah. I was in a band that booked a gig way in advance and before I joined. I told them when I joined that I couldn't do that one. Had a cruise.

    No problem, they said. We'll have a friend of the drummer fill in that one night. (the guy also went to high school with 2 others in the band)

    When I came back, I had been replaced by this guy. no one in the band had ever expressed disappointment in my commitment, work ethic, abilities, attitude. Anything. no warning. Just a few cowardly sh*ts that got together and decided to bring in one of their buddies.

    Yes, it happens. but if a band is low enough to pull crap like that on someone without warning, then they aren't people you want to play with anyway.

    No worries. I'm playing a hugely popular band in another State now. That band, still playing mostly the same 2 dives that they were back then. Heck, they did me a favor!!
  12. Without the insensitivity;

    If you wrote the songs, get the rights. No matter what happens, you've still got your music. And that won't ever leave your side.

    Now that business is taken care of, try not to sweat what is probably just the situation of someone filling in.

  13. maevinj


    Feb 10, 2008
    Sounds like you don't need to go out of town to me. I know if my band had something major, I would cancel what I had to do to , to play the show. Just me though.
  14. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Probably my own paranoia. And the fact that the guitarist and "replacement guy" are best friends since highschool and now live together in a musically friendly house.

    The good news is my keyboard player (the other guy that started this group w/ me) emailed me to assure me that I would not be replaced by "new guy". Said he'd probably be next if that ever happened because he can't find pants tight enough to keep up with the hipsters in our band LOL
  15. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Family > Band

    I've ditched enough people in my life for music - mainly my friends. I've lost many friends and countless opportunities to get drunk and laid all to go to a rehearsal or play some dive bar in the middle of nowhere. I've always tried to do the right thing as far as family comes though...hopefully karma will come back around for me one day
  16. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    Without knowing anything about the political dynamics of your band, i.e. how well you rate, how much power and influence you may have, how indispensable you may be, it's really impossible for anyone else to assess the situation from afar... :meh:

    How do you know that this other bassist is even available or is even interested in taking over your job? Whether or not a change is in the works, one thing is for sure: Showing your insecurity about this will do absolutely nothing positive for your standing in the band. Regardless of how you feel, it's much better to stay cool and confident. What will be, will be...

    Yes, I got replaced - once. The leader wanted to make a change, and that was that. You move on...and try to make sure the next band is a better fit. You might one day need to make the occasional change yourself.

    But to answer your question, yeah, substitutions happen all the time. You might even be asked to sub for someone one of these days... :meh:

  17. Your attitude sounds a bit defeatist, like you're already expecting to be kicked out. :atoz:

    I'm currently involved in this kind of thing from the other side - our band recently played a show with a fairly large crowd by our standards (~1000). We played well, so we were offered an opportunity by the promoter to play another show for some good $$$ in a few weeks. We really want to do this, but our drummer is going to be out of town. All of us in the band are co-workers, and we know another guy at work who plays drums. Our singer and rhythm guitarist asked this other guy to sit in for this one show. Even though we have been very upfront with both drummers that it's only for a single night, our current drummer is acting like an insecure girlfriend, thinking we're trying to replace him, and doesn't want us to do the show as a "sign" that we have confidence in him. :rolleyes: It's gotten to the point where he doesn't want to help the fill-in get up to speed, which is going to end up hurting the band if we don't do well. I think the guy just wants to assume the worst.

    I'm sensing some of that in your posts.
  18. 69nites


    Jul 11, 2006
    this is exactly the way I was viewing it
  19. I think you hit it on the're just being paranoid. Go do what you've got to do, come back and resume your bass duties.
  20. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    I totally see how I come off as a bit insecure - at least to you guys whom I'm confiding in, but I assure you, I haven't let the band onto this feeling.

    I told them I'd do whatever needs to be done to get the other guy ready to learn my parts in time for the show. As far as they know I'm totally cool with it. Under no circumstances would I say, "Don't do the show". That'd be selfish on my part. This gig is a big opportunity for our band.
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