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Finding people to play with

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Albini_Fan, Jul 2, 2003.

  1. Albini_Fan

    Albini_Fan Banned

    Jan 26, 2003
    Beneath Below
    I'm seventeen and I really want to get serious in a band. I'm home schooled, I'm going to High School next year though (I'll be a junior). I've been home schooled since the 7th grade, so I am kind of detatched from the social life. Which is sad, I know. The few people I do know and do play, they arn't serious at all. Me and my guitarist friend were going to start up a melvin's cover band with my guitarist's drummer friend. My friend sold his guitar to pay off his tickets, and the drummer dude turned out to only have a drum kit to be cool.

    Okay, so that sucked.

    My one other friend who plays (who I don't like all that well, he's pretty *******-ish to me) will only play Box Car Racer and Blink 182 he learned off of a tab. And when I do decide to jam with him, he will go off and pretend like I am not even there. And he can't even go off, he just plays stuff he has learned out of tab to loud and sloppily. And the worst part is, he thinks he's the greatest.

    It is my overwhelming desire, it is my INSTINCT to make music. It's all I think about. But it is so hard to do anything without anyone else. I want to find a serious drummer and guitarist. Except, being out of school has left me no option with noone else to go to. What should I do?

    (and when I do get back to school, what would be the best way to go about finding bandmates? I mean, besides wearing my awsome indy punk rock shirts and acting cooler than everyone. Because, yeah, then I'll get the cool musician kids to be my friend! Hey, right? Hey?)
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Well, I think it's similar to looking for a girlfriend, you can't expect to get the best on your first try, but that's how you learn.

    Like, don't be scared to play with musicians that aren't particularly serious, if you truly have such a passion for music, then other people's agendas should be of no concern when it comes to the music. As long as you are playing, ya know?

    You can't be too selective or you may never find the right people, Take what you can get, meet new people, make connections, and take it from there.

    Just talk to people, learn if they have an interest in music, maybe they themselves aren't players but their brother or sister is, or maybe they know a really great local band, you could then talk to that band and maybe their bassist knows this really great drummer, and bingo, you are hooked up.

    it's not that difficult, you just gotta put yourself out there, and be social, and make friends, connections, and acquaintances.
  3. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    put up ads at a bulletin board at a guitar store. I have found a few people that way. Or just hang around guitar stores, and find people that way. I have done that a few times too.
  4. Albini_Fan

    Albini_Fan Banned

    Jan 26, 2003
    Beneath Below
    You see, I am not social. I am your typical virgin, flustered with public anxiety hermit teenager boy. I can't talk to people I don't know, If I even try (after building up the courage) I never know what to say. If I saw a drummer at the local GC rocking out, I could ask him if he wanted to play with me or what he's up to but I wouldn't know how.

    (You can just imagine what this has done to my love life :( )
  5. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    you just need to relax and get out there. If you seem akward, then the worst they can do is bow out of the conversation and leave. You'll be allright. If you hear a drummer you like, then ask him what kind of music he listens to. It should go from there. If you lived around here, I could help you out.
  6. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    You don't even necessarily need to "know what to say" just shoot the **** for a little while.

    you see a great drummer rocking out at GC, approach him and say "hey man, I was listening to you play, that was really cool" then he'll probably say something like "hey thanks man, means a lot to me" then you just gotta be like "so, you in a band"

    and if he says yes then say "that's awesome, you got any gigs coming up?" and befriend him like that, of course if he's NOT in a band, ba da ding! "you wanna jam sometime? my name's ______, here's my number"

    Small talk is important, get comfortable with the person. compliments and stuff are always good becuase then that person will very well feel more comfortable and will be friendlier to you in return.
  7. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    Excellent advice from the errant automaton.

  8. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002

    Yeah, now I just gotta learn to take my own advice :meh:
  9. Albini_Fan

    Albini_Fan Banned

    Jan 26, 2003
    Beneath Below
    I'm just going to put this up at the local music stores.

    Serious 17 yearold bassist seeks serious similar aged guitarist/drummer with similar interest to form instrumental 3-piece minamalist hardcore noise-punk math-rock thrash metal art-fag band. Or something. Call me.

    My #
  10. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    LMFAO. What the heck does that mean?

    Let's see if I can translate... loud and heavily distorted guitar power chords, screaming, unnecessarily complex time signatures, inflated sense of self-importance, and, uh, you're gay? ("art-fag band"??) :D

    Can't you pretty much do that on your own with a guitar, an amp that goes up to 11, and mic? :D

    What I'm wondering is how the heck minimalist fits into that. Seems like a contradiction in terms to me... :confused:
  11. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    It's easy for some people, but I think you have to realise that not for everybody. A while ago I posted about Personalities,Myers-Briggs etc.

    So - the most simplistic divide is between intoverts and extraverts. Extraverts find small talk easy - in fact they often find it easier to keep talking than to shut up! ;)

    But introverts hate small talk and can't see the point of it.

    I think we found that a lot of us bassists were intoverts - although not all. When you're younger it seems impossible to do this stuff and people mentioned how you can be an introvert and do all this social stuff but it is hard work and takes a lot out of you.

    So as you get older, you find ways to deal with it and can do all the things that extraverts take for granted as the easiest thing in the world.
    So - when I was younger I never thought I would be standing up in front of large groups of people and telling them what to do - I'm a natural introvert - but you do, if you put your mind to it. But it all takes time - like learning about music....
  12. I've also found that! I think the bass is a well-suited instrument for introverts: You have to listen more than talk. Some extraverts (guitarists?!) sometimes talk too much (while having not that much to say) and should listen more.

    Oddly enough, I think playing music (bass) has helped me being a bit more extravert.
  13. getting into school will help. but finding people with simialer musical tastes will be tough. it sounds like you're a big melvins fan... those guys love making people hate them.

    you could go this guys route, and just make your own band out of old car parts: http://www.capturedbyrobots.com/
    that guy rawks. total introvert until he's on stage. he fixed my buddies moog, and i think he spoke all of three sentences to him while he had the keyboard.

    it will always be tough finding people to play with, but if you don't talk to anyone, you have zero chance at it. you gotta try to put yourself out there a little more.

    good luck, brother!
  14. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Yea Bruce I hear ya, and it's kind of funny, I would consider myself an introvert, but I have no problem making small talk. So maybe, I'm an extrovert trapped in an introvert body :p

    I used to be kind of non-social, but then I started to think about it, and realised it's not THAT difficult to be social, I don't know, it's kind of off and on for me, certainly sometimes I don't feel comfortable at all, but also sometime I surprise myself and am totally in the zone so to speak.

    If you don't challenge yourself and try new things, like being social, you aren't likely to get it till you get older, as you mentioned. At least that's what it seems like.
  15. Thor

    Thor Gold Supporting Member In Memoriam

    You can try this.

    ' Serious bass player, 17, looking for a band.'

    Why categorize? There is always a shortage of good bassists, take advantage of it. I f you get more than 1 reply, you can start making choices.

    Also, keep an eye on the alternative papers, ( not knowing what region you are in, I can't suggest one). One of my favorite bands I played with was when I answered an ad in the Phoenix that said merely 'Rolling Stones cover band needs bassist', that was a total blast.

    Take care

  16. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000

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