Flunking in style.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Josh Ryan, Mar 4, 2004.

Mar 24, 2001

Sep 15, 2003
Isle of Lucy
Feh.

3. SlavaF

Jul 31, 2002
Edmonton AB
some of that stuff is actually quite funny! But I don't understand why he would screw around on a big exam like that just to post it on his website for a few laughs...

4. Mike MoneyBanned

Mar 18, 2003
Bakersfield California
Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan

Maybe the dude really didn't know jack?

5. Osama_Spears

Jan 7, 2003
Baltimore,MD
You gave me an idea...I have Science tomorrow.mwhaha

6. Ty McNeely

Mar 27, 2000
TX
Anybody here seen "The Thermodynamics of Hell"??

The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time so we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, that "... it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over.

This student received the only A on the test.

7. Mike MoneyBanned

Mar 18, 2003
Bakersfield California
Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
I think hell is in the shape of a lemon.

8. Ty McNeely

Mar 27, 2000
TX

And your brain is the size of the seed

All in jest, Mikey

9. Bassman_Spike

Well that was interesting....i do like his explanation of the curvy graph comparing Time and Grams....he should have got half marks for that because he did explain...just not the time and grams bit

10. Ty McNeely

Mar 27, 2000
TX
"Add contents of packet and return to boil whilst stirring continuously. Simmer on a medium heat for 10 minutes.
-Sauce will thicken on standing.
Serves 4."

Classic!

May 4, 2001
Eugene, OR
"Fork + Shoe = Spleen"

12. Mike MoneyBanned

Mar 18, 2003
Bakersfield California
Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
Ya. Johnny Apple Seed, biatch!

Wait. That makes no sense. I'll be going now...

13. Josh Ryan- that dog won't hunt, Monsignor.Supporting Member

Mar 24, 2001
Yeah, I was wondering why he answered that one straight too.

Apr 8, 2002