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follow-up to the guy who said I couldn't play

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by hernameisrio, Feb 5, 2016.

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  1. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    I'm really glad you're OK, and sad that you had to deal with all that.
    Hang in there and keep playing.
    design, GreatScott91 and /\/\3phist0 like this.
  2. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    I think he was 'in a way' stalking her. I think he resented her and wanted her gigs on bass. He followed her to the bar and was told to leave her alone. He then got belligerent, then physical. He was an old, angry, sexist dude. Just my 'outside looking in' opinion.
    /\/\3phist0 likes this.
  3. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    Uhm that is up to venue security, assaulting the guy lands YOU in jail. Grow Up. Be smart.
  4. pcake

    pcake Supporting Member

    Sep 20, 2011
    Los Angeleez
    yeah, i got that out of it, too... except that i've known belligerent crazy people to follow people.

    old, angry and sexist, probably, but also really stupid - how did he think hitting someone was going to go? and since he's so stupid it didn't occur to him that hitting a stranger could send him off to jail, he seems the type to have no clue when upset about consequences.
    /\/\3phist0 and hrodbert696 like this.
  5. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    Distinction : defense vs offense
    Old Blastard likes this.
  6. Big Hoss

    Big Hoss Up note, down note, blue note, brown note...

    This is going to sound sexist and sorry for that, but I know in the world I live in, the first swing that SOB took at a woman in public, at least with the crowd I run with, he would have not only needed a lawyer, but also an emergency room. And he likely wouldn't be able to breed afterwards.
  7. okcrum

    okcrum in your chest

    Oct 5, 2009
    Verde Valley, AZ
    RIP Dark Horse strings
    So have I, and I can protect me.

    EDIT: First thing to do after ensuring self-protection is usually to hire a private investigator.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016
    atlbassist1987 likes this.
  8. DWBass

    DWBass The Funkfather Supporting Member

    Especially hitting a woman!! That takes a lot of balls especially in a public place!
  9. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    If you have any medical bills, the venue's insurance should cover it.
    hover and electracoyote like this.
  10. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    It is not balls, it's perverse and unhinged.
    cfsporn, JJR58, P-oddz and 6 others like this.
  11. Gasman

    Gasman Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2007
    South Carolina
    This is one of the worst things I've ever read on TB. Just horrible. I hope you are doing ok hernameisrio. If there is any lesson to learn from this appalling incident, it is to trust your gut feelings. OP knew something wasn't right about this guy. No way to imagine how unstable he was, but when your "Spidey Sense" is tingling, get out of there.

    Again, sorry you had to go through this.
    design likes this.
  12. This X infinity.
    Old Blastard likes this.
  13. Wowzers. Thanks for sharing. Definitely a warning about the nature of some of the crazy bar fly superstar wannabees you encounter in bars and clubs.

    When I recognize trouble from the stage, I alert management. I've shut down the music and had people tossed before they had a chance to start breaking stuff and hurting others.

    Remember, as the entertainment, you are also the co-host with the PA system, and largely responsible for setting the tone and crowd control. Be pro-active.

    Not to knock on OP, she obviously got sandbagged, but if it was this perp's second episode of abuse, I'd have put him and management on notice sooner and had 911 ready to go on my cell. My upscale private event contract clearly states zero tolerance for abuse from guests and my right to call 911, shut it down, pack it up under police supervision, and leave the event. If anything bad happens to my band or equipment, I can hold not only the perp accountable, but the client as well for failure to intervene and neutralize the disturbance. I hold bar and club managers to the same standard. Musicians should never have to take abuse and excess heckling, and anyone who still believes that's part of the deal is naive.

    OP is right: Take this stuff seriously and nip it in the bud. I hope she takes it to the limit in court and gives this yahoo reason to make a much-needed mental adjustment.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016
  14. Esoge


    Jun 22, 2014
    Glassboro, NJ
    Exactly my point
  15. DavC

    DavC Supporting Member

    May 17, 2005
    Tallmadge , Ohio
    i've been attacked by " mental idiots " at gigs also .. !?! it is quite freaky and usually unprovoked . One would think ' musicians ' would kinda stick together .! my attackers where just drunk and confused , but regretted their actions .

    sorry to hear this idiot got in face .. glad you're OK ... hopefully the legal system can deal with this dolt .!
    Bodeanly likes this.
  16. Wow, @hernameisrio, sorry it came down to that. Glad you're OK, and glad to see you back here.
  17. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    (same here)
    /\/\3phist0 likes this.
  18. /\/\3phist0

    /\/\3phist0 Life: It's sexually transmitted and always fatal Supporting Member

    this guy sounds dangerous and should be 86'd from bay area venues.
    pacojas likes this.
  19. DiabolusInMusic

    DiabolusInMusic Functionless Art is Merely Tolerated Vandalism Supporting Member

    It is almost comical that people cannot keep misogyny/patriarchy out of the OP's thread. Most people have no idea they are doing it, I do it too.

    I don't think anything harmful was intended by this post but it highlights, once again, how we idolize masculinity and ostracize femininity.
    hintz likes this.
  20. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    Rio is new to the Bay. i remember a few PM's between us with me assuring her the people here were supportive & cool in our music scene. after reading her initial story, i admit i wasn't convinced the guy was dangerous. even so,.. i tried to reach out to her in a totally separate thread to see if she had any upcoming gigs. i think she either didn't see my post or forgot to respond. as one of the members who spoke so highly of this area, i wanted her to know she has friends here from TB!
    if she ever feels threatened i invite her to reach out to us and we'll do what we can to support her! :mad:
    design and eldorado2001 like this.

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