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For a good laugh hahaha...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Jiro, Jun 6, 2005.


  1. Jiro

    Jiro

    Mar 15, 2004
    my friend emailed this to me and i laffed my ass off!

    How To Shower Like A Woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
    until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
    smallcountry.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



    How To Shower Like A Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
    soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make
    the'woo-woo'sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth
    behind this,there is something so very wrong with you.
     
  2. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    You're missing a few things though. :)

    What about the metrosexual male, or the gender-challenged female?

    There might be some interesting twists on the story. :D
     
  3. 43apples

    43apples Guest

    Nov 9, 2003
    Hmm, that's almost excactly my behaviour, except for the wiener shaking and shower peeing :D
     
  4. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    That's funny. Welcome to five years ago.

    :p

    brad cook
     
  5. This absolutely had me rolling in laughter.

    I'm almost ashamed to admit I've done the wiener shaking and "woo-woo" sound in the presence of my wife more than once. I shall have to let her read this tonite.
     
  6. Petary791

    Petary791

    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    Haha I seriously laughed out loud reading that.
     
  7. eric234

    eric234 Guest

    Mar 11, 2005
    philadelphia
    lol i'm fifteen and most of that applies excpet for the woo-woo thing
     
  8. fatbassjazzer

    fatbassjazzer

    Feb 27, 2004
    ATL
    I think I remember some comedian saying,"Any man who says he doesn't pee in the shower, is a liar."
     
  9. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    if i'm a liar, it's not because i'll tell you that i don't pee in the shower.
     
  10. Compensating for something, are we?? ;)
     
  11. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    no. i just don't pee in the shower. ;)
     
  12. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
  13. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    You know what they say about guys who don't pee in the shower...

    brad cook
     
  14. If noones home , ill walk around the house after the shower naked and let the air dry me! No not really , but theres an idea.
     
  15. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    they don't have to wash their feet again?
     
  16. I always make a Shampoo Mohawk!!!!!!!!!!
     
  17. karrot-x

    karrot-x Banned

    Feb 21, 2004
    Omicron Persei 8
    This thread is me.
     
  18. ... I wish I could admire the size of my weiner