Forgive me for this, but...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by secretdonkey, Mar 15, 2006.

  1. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    My little brother is still sending me Chuck Norris jokes, just to spite me. Having gone through the cycle of funny, to laughing politely, to mild eye-rolling, to naked contempt, I was caught off guard by a couple of really good ones and well, whuddayaknow, it's back to funny... if only for the moment.

    So at the very obvious risk of catching everyone else at another phase of that cycle, I'm forced to wonder how some of those Chuck jokes would fly with Qintar standing in for Mr. Norris.

    Thoughts? "Die, you evil wretch!" and "I just added secretdonkey to my ignore list" perhaps?

  2. Tom Crofts

    Tom Crofts

    Mar 15, 2001
    What are the good ones you laughed at?
  3. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    I saw one here somewhere ..

    " Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer , unfortunately he never cries "
  4. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    I swear I've read that one 2,000 times.
  5. DaftCat


    Jul 26, 2004
    Medicine Hat
    Chuck Norris never reads books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  6. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    The Qintar doesn't wear a watch. He declares what time it is.
  7. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Qintatorship.
  8. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    i, for one, would like to know the semi-fresh ones.

    just yesterday i came across two ones i hadn't seen before. one was a little more vulgar than maybe tb would allow, so here's the other one:

    "the typical human being has 23 pairs of chromosomes. chuck norris has 46. and they're all poisonous."
  9. MurdocRocks


    Jun 18, 2005
    Torrance, CA
    Chuck Norris was actually a secret character in Mortal Kombat, every move was a fatality.
  10. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca

    awesome. :cool:
  11. Tom Crofts

    Tom Crofts

    Mar 15, 2001
    That cancer one sucks, it's old school. Reaallll old school. Mark, yours was good. So were most of the others. Keep 'em coming. Please not the same old rehashed crap as before.

  12. :D
  13. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his spare time. And by "knit", I mean "chain punch", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

    They are better if you adapt them for other people though.
  14. Chuck Norris does not go to the bathroom. He wills the wastes to leave his body.

    Not that great, it's the best I could come up with on short notice.

    Rock on
  15. I think that there should be a wave of Qintar jokes all over the internet. We'll be the only ones to get it and then we can do the superior dance. :D
  16. "Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands."

    "Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"."

    Sure are new to me haha.
  17. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    Chuck Norris can grant wishes, as long as you wish for roundhouse kicks to the face or a Total Gym.

    Chuck Norris wanted to "taste the rainbow," so he ate Toucan Sam.

    Chuck Norris was raised to respect the opinions of others, with a swift kick to the face.
  18. steve21

    steve21 Banned

    A personal favorite of mine is

    "Chuck Norris does not believe in the Periodic Table of Elements, because there's only one element he believes in. The Element of Suprise"
  19. Cerb


    Sep 27, 2004
    My all time favorite is

    "Chuck Norris can divide by zero"