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Friends or foes?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by yawnsie, Feb 23, 2001.

  1. yawnsie


    Apr 11, 2000
    Recently, I've been reading something other than the posts on here - the Beatles' anthology, and a book about the Who. It was interesting, to me at least, to note the differences between the relationships of each band's members - the Beatles were great friends (well, in the beginning at least...) and, according to some people, maybe overdoing the hyperbole a little, had some sort of psychic link with one another, a group more than in the music. On the other hand, the Who "hated each other" according to Roger Daltrey, and psychically fought one another more than once. (Ironically, the Beatles split up after less than a decade and wrote songs about how they hated each other, while the Who stayed together for nearly 20 years and are back together now)

    All this lead me to ask the question - what sort of relationship do you have with your bandmates, or the people you play with? Are you all good friends, sharing a common vision and goal, or is it just a working relationship? It's interesting to note how the two band's main songwriters worked - Lennon and McCartney always bouncing ideas off each other, with a friendly competition between the pair, while Pete Townshend became the Who's main songwriter to assert his control of the band over first Daltery, and then Entwistle. I think it would be interesting to find out people's thoughts on all this - OK, I'm probably just annoying most people, but I just thought I'd ask...
  2. NJXT


    Jan 9, 2001
    Lyon, FRANCE
    My 2 other bandmembers are friends at first.
    Even if we stop playing together, they will still remain my friends.
    Even if we argue sometime, even if we share like a third or a fourth of each other musical test ...
    In fact, I never played long with people who weren't friends of mine (before or after grouping in the same band).
    Since I've always done original music, I think it's kind of hard (impossible) to create something (in long terms) with people you dislike.
    Or ... perhaps if you are famous and making a lot of buck out of it ;)
  3. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    From my experience, it's important to have other musicians who think differently than you do. However, everyone needs to be open and humble enough to work in a collaborative manner.

    I haven't been "best buddies" with some of the people I have made and composed some of my best music with. Our personalities were/are quite different, i.e., the "sweetness" of McCartney tempered by the "acerbity" of Lennon. But we give input to each other about what the other is playing in a respectful and constructive manner. When it gets abusive or when there is a hidden agenda involved the music suffers inevitably. Again, the results of when McCartney and Lennon parted company- some of McCartney's music became almost "Carpenter-esque," saccharine. Some of Lennon's became too bitter and angry for mainstream tastes. The whole, the team, was greater than its parts.

    Your citing the Who is another good example. Aside from Townsend's compositional skills, can you imagine how idiotic they would have appeared if Entwistle was displaying the same theatrics as Daltrey and Townsend? Townsend's and Moon's playing was so over-the-top they needed someone like Entwistle, whose playing was so deadly serious and cohesive.

    I like hanging out with other band members. We have lots of other interests besides music. But, I don't think I'd want to live with them for a long time. It may be true that familiarity breeds contempt, which is what may have been part of the reason for the rifts in the Beatles and the Who. Of course, I don't know about the relationships when that kind of money and fame is added to the mix, (unfortunately).

    The level of intimacy reached through making music together is almost scary. The communication is so perfect. We catch ourselves saying, "What I meant to say was...." But I don't think I ever heard anyone say, "What I meant to play was...."
  4. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Although there might be some rare occasions when people who hate each others guts produce great music, I still firmly believe there has to be some kind of friendship or some common bond to get some synergy going. Differing points of views really can be fruitful when all members are able to act respectfully and socially mature.
    Most guys I've played with in the past are still very good friends. The rest is...you know what I mean...

    I rest my case here...:D
  5. I have found that if I don't like someone, there is just no way I can play music with them. The drummer with us now I have played with off and on for over twenty years. He is one of my best friends, and we know each other inside out. The guitarist and I have been buds and bandmates for 3 years now. We kept one drummer longer than we should have just because he was so much fun to have around. But in the end, we decided we needed a better drummer more than a good laugh. Fortunately he took it very well, and we are still friends.
    I suffered thru one a-hole blues guitarist for 6 months, and by the time I quit the band I had given up the bass and was playing trombone in the horn section. Playing with him just about killed me. I was soooooo glad to leave.
  6. I agree that there has to be some sort of connection between the band mates because without it there always seems to be a tension to out do each other while on the otherhand when the connection is there I find that it is easier to feed off of one another and go to new heights thats why for the last four years I have been playing with the same guitarist he has the same interests in music as me and we both feed off of each other.
  7. CamMcIntyre


    Jun 6, 2000
    I usually have disagreements with one of the guitarists as far as what we should play-he's a metalhead 100% & to him all other music sucks but i like to play more diverse types & listen to lots of types so i don't get burnt out. Thats all
  8. Dragonlord

    Dragonlord Rocks Around The Glocks

    Aug 30, 2000
    Greece, Europe
    I'm not a professional,I play bass for fun and not for money,and I don't think I could go on playing with someone I don't like for a long time.It's happened before,and now we just don't talk to each other...there was much tension at rehearsals,and what the hell,it aint worth it,when you play music you just need to relax and be able to concentrate on the music.I know there are times you have to compromise,but as long as I can I'll try to have true friends around me-if not,I can always have more fun playing my bass home alone.
  9. I agree, you have to have to have some sort of common ground with people you play with for a long period of time. I just cannot play with guys that irritate me. It's not enjoyable. And, for me, playing music MUST be enjoyable. I hate playing with irritating players, bad monitors, buzzing cables, etc...
  10. Well, I'm not in a band, but I practice with my friends sometimes for the upcoming battle of the bands. The guitarist is a stoner, and he's really funny and a fine guitarist, but I think that stuff is getting to his head. The singer has a terrible case of Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder, so he's screwed up, but he's really funny. The drummer and I aren't really good friends and I don't really talk to him outside of when we jam. I talk to the guitarist and singer a lot, though.
  11. *ToNeS*


    Jan 12, 2001
    Sydney AU
    i love my bandmates, they've gotta be some of the closest friends i got. we're like a family; we bounce stuff off each other, everyone gets a say in what we should be playing or covering, and best of all, everyone agrees that everyone should be equally audible - the most beautiful thing a guitarist has ever done for me was realise that the bass wasn't quite loud enough when i was soloing, and turn my amp up for me while i was playing. i wept openly :)
    Gribbles is our singer (yeller), and a damn smackhead but we love the **** anyway - he's hilariously funny and the biggest smartarse ever. Alex is our guitarist and possibly the biggest burnout i've ever had the pleasure of meeting .. warped to the max, and _very_ talented. Ali rocks the skins, and is so laidback he floats when he drums. me, i'm like, i dunno. i'm like everyone's ****ing mother or something hahaha backflipping off a stack during a set at our school, i guess i'm sorta the nutter of the band as well.

    music is bliss.
  12. Erlendur Már

    Erlendur Már

    May 24, 2000
    All my bandmates are friends, and I can´t even imagine how it´s like to be in a band with someone you hate...
  13. gweimer


    Apr 6, 2000
    Columbus, OH
    Yeah, it is a little strange sometimes. You can start out being friends with someone, and over time (especially in traveling band) discover that you really dislike them. On the other hand, I once worked with a person that I really had some issues with. We argued all the time. Finally, one night, I'd had it. I blasted off that his and my relationship was strictly business, and that was it. After that we got along better, and he's the only one I keep in contact with after many years.

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