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Fun with a button maker. Making bassist buttons

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by walksupright, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. So, I 'm hanging out with friends who've just got a button maker for Xmas. With this tool, we've decided to create buttons that will help bassists communicate the full range of snappy retorts to band members, express common frustrations on the gig and generally help people who aren't bassists understand our thinking. Admittedly, the buttons so far reflect my own passive-aggressive misanthropic nature, so I'm asking other bassists to add to the list we've made so far to widen the scope.

    Here's what some of the buttons say:

    Bassists are musicians too

    I read music. Do you?

    Tune your guitar please.

    Count in 4 please.

    Find the key please.

    I do more with 4 strings that you do with 6.

    It's how Jamerson did it!

    Flatwounds baby!

    Will only slap for pay!

    At least I know what key we're in!

    You don't need all those pedals.

    No left hand please.

    Read the chart. . . oh, wait!

    If you help load in/out, I may start liking you.

    Gig without bass. . . dare you!

    Did you bring a back-up?

    At least the sound guy likes me!

    Any more suggestions? Promise, we're not making money of this. . . just wasting time really! Cheers!
  2. nortonrider


    Nov 20, 2007
    no girls will hang out with us....so we make buttons
  3. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    "That hot blonde keeps pointing at you, but she's going home with me."

    "You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

    "I give them funny feelings in their....."
  4. Peepaleep

    Peepaleep Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2010
    Las Cruces, NM
    "Bass players do it deeper"
  5. Hey girls,
    Bass players have magic fingers!
  6. Bass players have longer thicker instruments...
  7. [QUOTE=two fingers

    "You think that GUITAR got them on the dance floor?"

    My favorite so far.
  8. Bass players make more $$ per note.
  9. Betrayer_Bass

    Betrayer_Bass Profanity Fish. Supporting Member

    Sep 24, 2011
    Oslo, Norway
    Endorsing: Spector basses, Winspear Picks, Spector Formula 603 strings
    "I am the thump in the night."
  10. tmdazed


    Sep 29, 2012
    My rig is much bigger and goes far deeper
  11. powmetalbassist

    powmetalbassist Supporting Member

    Bigger, Badder, Bass!
  12. f64


    Oct 31, 2009
    Don't piss me off...I'll speed the drummer up
  13. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010
    There's a good one right there.
  14. I'm not good, but I've got guts!
  15. dnosewor


    Apr 14, 2009
    Hahaha. That was my favorite too
  16. tmdazed


    Sep 29, 2012
    no I am not a failed guitarist and no Bass is not easier to play

    no one wants to be the bassist

    Ill step on your rhythm line any time I like

    no I am not a drummer , I CAN count to 4

    if it aint down low , its nothing but treble

    no you cant come up and sit in a song , do I come to your work and steal your headset and ask your customers , "do you want fries with that"

    Bass , not just the fish anymore

    I wear a hat
  17. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    With all of that "flair" you guys are wearing you might start getting drink orders.
  18. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    May 7, 2003
    Tomball, Texas
    Some I would like to have:

    I own the PA

    No, I can't help you with your drums!

    No, I can't give you a ride
  19. HereIGoAgain


    Oct 16, 2011
    Capo??? We don't need no stinkin' CAPOS!!!!

    Go ahead and do that left-hand walk. I'll just go up high and play the lead line.

    Never famous, but never hungry.
  20. KJB


    Aug 1, 2012
    Bass Happens

    Bass, it's what's for dinner.

    On the eighth day, God created bass.

    Bass>Chuck Norris

    Even Nikki can play one.