Funding Your Secret Purchase

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by ColonelZulu, May 2, 2001.

  1. ColonelZulu

    ColonelZulu Not Impressed By Those Who Flaunt “Authority” Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2001
    Any ideas or stories of how to make a purchase without your wife finding out? She doesn't understand the need for more than one bass. What am I to do?
  2. MatW


    May 10, 2000
    UK, Swindon
    Let's face it. You're never going to conceal your purchase from her completely.
    Every time I buy any musical gear I generally lie and say that it was in a sale and that I got in for half the value of what I really paid.
    Luckily my girlfriend isn't interested in guitars so she never bothers to find out the real cost.
    If she ever finds out I'm a dead man. :)
  3. NJXT


    Jan 9, 2001
    Lyon, FRANCE
    You can try the classic but always risky :
    "But I've told you about this like a thousand tiiiiiimes !"
    (with a little "piss-of/ennoyed/bored" tone)

    Or the even more risky :
    "It was an incredible bargain, I did'nt have time to tell/ask you"

    Or the riskier of all :
    "So what ? Sue/Divorce me ..."
  4. ColonelZulu

    ColonelZulu Not Impressed By Those Who Flaunt “Authority” Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2001
    I've already tried

    "this is the absolute LAST on I'm ever going to buy!"

    "It was a gift from a new sponsor!"

    "Hey, look what I found on the side of the highway!"
  5. brianrost

    brianrost Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 26, 2000
    Boston, Taxachusetts
    Yeah, I've got a story...I actually tried to hide my purchases from her and ALWAYS got bagged. What a d***head I was, eh? :) Actually, she let me get away with a lot of childish stuff until I wised up and decided to act like an adult.

    Finally I figured out a fair compromise: my gig money is mine to spend on whatever I want but I can't buy gear with anything BUT gig money (or sale of other gear). As it turns out I now do enough gigging ($5-10K a year) that I have no problem buying gear any more.

    My advice: if you love your wife, don't try to do something behind her back, it's not worth it.
  6. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Inactive

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    That's just good advice in general. Would you want your wife doing things behind your back?

    Thought not;)

    So...get some backbone. Either you can afford it or not. Either it's a priority or not. Screw with your wife's trust and then you'll have a problem much bigger than not having a piece of gear.
  7. ColonelZulu

    ColonelZulu Not Impressed By Those Who Flaunt “Authority” Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2001
    This was supposed to be a light-hearted topic!!! There's no way I'd actually be able to hide an instrument from her or the purchase. I just wanted to see if anyone had trouble with a wife (or partner) who didn't see another bass (or a motorcycle, another pair of shoes, elaborate landscaping, a tatoo) as a worthwhile purchase and found a creative way of getting away with it.

    I've been married to her for 5 years and I've never hidden anything. Whether she hides things from me is her business I suppose.

    Actually, what money I do get from gigs goes for my daughter's college fund. That's our existing agreement (my idea).

    So take this out of the vain of reality. My marriage is fine, for those who care.


    I like your first suggestion!!
  8. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Inactive

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    That was my light-hearted response:D
  9. CS


    Dec 11, 1999
    It's about balance isn't it? If your family is going without to fund your GAS IMHO its wrong. If you are going without and your wife gets a new BMW every year then IMHO thats wrong too.

    I limit myself to my definition of 'need'. I spend about 6 mths to a yr researching a purchase and usually its final. I also limit gear to birthdays.

    The wife and kids all get to do what they like as well-foreign holidays, meals, cinema, amusment parks (arrrrrrrrgh!!!) football (real name for soccer) Tennis lessons etc.

    Ive been married for 18 yrs so somrthings working.

  10. malthumb


    Mar 25, 2001
    The Motor City
    When I first got back into playing I had a 4 string and went out and got a 5 string. She couldn't understand why I needed 2 basses and suggested if I really needed the 5, get rid of the 4. After MUCH debate, we agreed on a total of no more than 3 basses at a time. This has made me very judicious in terms of what I have and how I use it.

    So now I have a 5 string, a 4 string, and a 4 string tuned tenor (ADGC). There were a lot of basses that passed in & out of the house before I locked down on these three, so I've had my share of fun.

    Luckily (for me) we didn't lock in on a budget or an agreement on peripherals (amps, effects) but I'm sure that day's comin' :(

    The arrangement's been good. There's been a number of times that I've been tempted by Warwick Thumbs and Infinities, Peavey Cirrus, and Pedulla Pentabuzz, but I wouldn't value any of them enough to part with one of my three.


  11. jazzbo


    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    Deny it. Vehemently deny it. Even when she points right to it, pretend to see through it. Play dumb. If you're anything like me, that part's not too hard. :D
  12. Pacman

    Pacman Layin' Down Time Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2000
    Omaha, Nebraska
    Endorsing Artist: Roscoe Guitars, DR Strings, Aguilar Amplification
    I've got a spouse that constantly says "you need one of those". She rocks. When I told her about the deal offered on my Conklin GT-7, she said something to the effect of "Hang up now and call them to buy it!"

    did I say she rocks?
  13. RAM


    May 10, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    That's even better than mine! Actually I'm engaged, not married. But, when I told my fiance about a deal I saw, she asked me if that could be my wedding present!

    She's asked me why I need so many basses, but also understands that it's a passion of mine;) And, she doesn't want to come in the way of it!

    The flipside, unfortunately, is my accountant-style brain. I have so many things that I'm saving up for and want...I swear I'm messed artist on the one side who cannot be less than totally impulsive, and an accountant by trade...go figure:confused:
  14. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Inactive

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    DR Strings
    Spouses who "get it" are worth their weight in gold.

    Mine's one:D
  15. ;)

    I'm not able to understand how do you feel guilty buying another bass. They are so nice ...

    BTW In another similar thread someone suggested to buy them all sunburst.
  16. Funkster

    Funkster Supporting Member

    Apr 6, 2000
    Wormtown, MA
    Words to live by brianrost I do the same exact thing although I wish I was gigging out a little more.
  17. Max


    Feb 14, 2000
    Bakersfield, CA
    Here's a good one if you don't golf: find out what the green fees are at a near-by course. Assume they are $50 after cart rental, refreshments, etc. Multiply that by the number of weeks you need to exceed the purchase price for your gear. Then you start in about if you golfed weekly in order to cope with your stressful life, things would be a lot more expensive. You can make a GAS purchase sound downright reasonable.
  18. JMo


    Apr 27, 2001
    Greenville SC
    My wife has this weird obsession that we should feed and clothe the kids BEFORE any equipment gets bought. No sense of priority whatsoever!
  19. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Secret? Man, my girl knows I'm buying big. I make no pretenses to hide the fact that my money is going somewhere. Of course...between her, and the bass...I'm pretty much broke. Ain't life grand?:D
  20. Aaah...the joys of being single! :D:D
    Actually, none of my friends get why I need more than 1 bass, either. They always think my money could go towards something more useful, like a really expensive birthday gift for them.
    Now...I WOULD consider it, if they didn't keep bugging me about it. When I got our guitarist/pianist/cellist who didn't have her own guitar a guitar (that made sense, right? :p) she ended up paying me back. I kept telling her she didn't need to, but I think she might've felt a little guilty accepting such a nice looking guitar from someone who's not more than just a friend... :D
    And then when I got another friend a cell phone for her birthday, she wasn't actually EXPECTING it. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she just said "Well, the 8810 would be nice. Hehe..." with HEAVY sarcasm in her voice.
    Well, since I was feeling really nice at the time, I went out & bought it for her.

    And now, everyone's asking for stuff, so I'm not gonna get anything for them. I didn't mind getting the other 2 things because it was out of MY heart, not out of their greed. that I'm not buying anymore ridiculously expensive gifts for anyone, I'm starting to save up my allowance to get a Warwick or something. They've only got Streamers so far that I've seen. Well, they have 1 Dolphin & 1 Infinity that I've seen, but hey - the streamer series is still nice! :D
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