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Funniest Audition Story, The Winner is....

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by JWC, Dec 30, 2000.

  1. JWC

    JWC Banned

    Oct 4, 2000
    The band I am working with now auditioned a guy the week before Christmas. He came down here on a bus from Atlanta with nothing but some clothes and a guitar. He was a 20 something year old black guy from, as he put it, "the ghetto". Every other words he used was "mother f*cker". He used that word at least twice in every statement he made. He was a serious ghetto gansta. So everyone is kinda puzzled now. The other guitarist asks him, "so what do you know?" Then he said the funniest thing I have ever heard....

    "I know some mother f*ckin Beatles and ****....god damn Eleanor Rigby....that's some f*cked up ****, but I dig it."

    He actually could play a handful of Beatles stuff, which blew us away. Then they asked could he sing. He freestyle rapped for about 10 minutes straight using every flithy word he knew, repeatedly.

    He then started showing up at the singers house since he was basically homeless down here. He then got a hotel room for a few nights. He came back to practice one day with a song he wrote called, "No Christmas Tree This Year." It was about his hotel room not having a tree or something. It was hilarious. He had another song he wanted the singer to try. I kid you not, one of the lines went, "I'm the evil white devil f*ckin up a brother."

    After he lost his hotel room, he came back Christmas Eve wanting to stay with the singer and her family. Sitting in the living room he started with some conspiracy theories about how the singer was having sex with his old bass player who lived back in Atlanta. We had had enough of him by then, but then his white girlfriend and her 3 kids show up. They start fighting out in the yard and whatnot. After she left, everyone pitched in some money we drove him to the bus station and put him on the next bus out of town.

    Haven't heard back from him since.
  2. ~Loxley~

    ~Loxley~ Guest

    Apr 9, 2000
    :eek: :D
  3. I finally found my new signature!

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