Funniest thing you heard at a concert?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by SlavaF, Jan 1, 2003.

  1. SlavaF


    Jul 31, 2002
    Edmonton AB
    Since I've been to 2 concerts, and have heard many bootlegs, I have heard the singer say some funny stuff. So what were the funniest things you heard the band say at a concert?

    I'll start with one from an Offspring concert from when I was 12: The power to their amps went off, so Dexter says: "All right. Someone just pulled a f***ing cord so now all our s*** has gone to hell.":p
  2. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    "This next Number is for all the FOXY LADIES in the Audience TONITE!"

    "Both of Ya!"
  3. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    I have a Jamiroquai bootleg, where during a song, some chick threw panties on the stage, and that caught him off guard. He's singing, and this is what you hear: "You know girl, our love has synchronized with the stars, the moon, .......what the f*** was that?!"

    I was at a Primus/Incubus concert about 3 years ago, and this moron was pointing a laser pointer at Les to get his attention, and boy did they get it! "If you point the damn thing at me one more time, I'm going to put down my bass, and come up there and shove that thing up your a**!"
  4. James Hart

    James Hart

    Feb 1, 2002
    Endorsing Artist: see profile
    REM @ Rutgers in the late 80's... someone pegged Stipe with a glow stick. Without missing a beat he sang the next verse and chorus about how stupid it was to throw the thing and how it was going to ruin the rest of the show and that the rest of us should kick his butt. He finished the tune and walked off for a good 10 minutes.

    also they opened with "the one I love" (the big hit that year) when finished Stipe announced that all the yuppies could leave and the show was about to begin.

    They were a great band to see live in the 80's, I was a huge fan (saw at least a dozen shows)... they're just so weak after the "Green" album
  5. tboyd


    Sep 10, 2002
    The Woodlands, TX
    I saw The Cult a couple of years ago and apparently a young lady down front was exposing her breasts. Ian Asbury said, "Yes, those are very nice, I'm sure you're very proud of them. But this isn't your show, this show is all about us!"

    I also saw P.I.L. in the mid-eighties and near the end of the show John Lydon had people from the crowd go up on stage to dance. Shortly thereafter John said, "We have to sop playing now, I am going to jail. The big bad fire marshall says I am breaking the law."
  6. BassPlayerGush


    Sep 23, 2001
    david grohl said some pretty obsene stuff that was hilarious...but i dont think the tb moderators would appreciate it if i repeated it. david was pretty drunk.
  7. malthumb


    Mar 25, 2001
    The Motor City
    I was in a musical (acting, not playing) when a friend had the lead on a particular song. He's standing at the edge of the stage and a HUGE spitwad arks out of his mouth, through the spotlight and onto a woman in the front row. Without breaking character, cadence, or key he interjected into the song "didn't mean to spit on you baby" and kept right on going.


  8. Sonic

    Sonic Lord of the Grump

    I saw a local band called Dionius during the summer and the singer was like
    "Are you ready for the most crude and ignorant show of your life" Crowds screams "Well, we won't swear but we're plenty ignorant"
    Anyway show goes on for a bit and the lights hit his eyes and he goes "turn the lights down, I can't see a god damn thing" to which the guitarist responds "You said you wouldn't swear" and the singer says "Oh shut up Sexy Pants" at which point
    they put on this big "Gay Couple fighting" act, It was hilarious
  9. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Oh yeah, here's my fave: Courtney Love was berating the audience in Cincy, calling them stupid, moronic, etc. This was shortly after Curt had returned his "life's rent a car", so while she's in mid insult, someone threw a shotgun shell on stage that landed right at her feet. She instantly shut up, and never returned to the stage. Whoever threw that shell is my hero!
  10. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    Maynard James Keenan of Tool is such a smart-alec.

    Before they went into "Opiate," he said, "Repeat after me: Think for yourself. Question authority. Think for yourself. Dare to be different. Dare to be unique. Think for yourself. Never repeat what anyone else says."

    The entire audience of 9,000 people erupted into laughter. :D
  11. i have a tool bootleg where maynard is taunting people to jump from a balcony, and calling them chicken s**ts. pretty funny.
    at a claypool show i was at, les looked into the front row where all but two people were standing, and started to ask the two sitting guys if they were comfortable, and offered to get them some pillows and blankets from backstage. he also started to tell a story about his australian friend who played rugby to a lady in the front row in the breakdown of a song.
  12. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    At a Radiohead concert I went to about half way through the show Thom said "WHo here likes New York?!?!" (we were in California) "They've got power and water..." then the whole crowd uproareded and I heard some guy yell "He's right!!!"

    that was pretty funny
  13. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    thats the funniest thing I've heard yet... i don't know why that stuck out at me.. but man that was funny
  14. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    now for my story.. I went to See Victor Wooten at the handlebar in Greenville South Carolina. Some drunk guy in the audience start hollering really loud during Vic's Solo part of the show.. the guy was standing right behind me and I was right on the stage.. So Vic looks down for a second.. stops playing.. the guy keeps singing... So Vic gets to the Mic and says "hold on guys, looks like this fella over hear has something he wants you to hear... so lets hear it" the guy start hollering really loud thinking he was funny and after about 1 second Vic says "ok now stop no one wants to hear that" Everyone Laughed at that guy
  15. ARA punk

    ARA punk

    Jul 11, 2001
    USA, Shelby, NC
    I was at a NOFX concert and Fat Mike kept yelling about some hippie at the front who kept flipping him off. There was a guy behind me holding up a sign that said "Always hate Hippies". Mike started saying how that dude had the right idea and everyone who saw a hippie needed to pinch him. After about ten seconds he started yelling in the general direction of the hippie "I said pinch him man dont kill him!"

    A friend of mine was at a NOFX concert and a guy threw his wallet on stage next to Fat Mike's feet. Mike pulled it out and showed everyone that it was empty so he pulls out a fifty dollar bill, puts it in the wallet, and tosses it back to the guy. A few minutes later another wallet gets thrown on stage. Mike picks it up and says "I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to use me" and he pulled out whatever money was in the wallet and threw it back to the dude. :D
  16. SlavaF


    Jul 31, 2002
    Edmonton AB

    Yeah. I love how he gets the audience to "Baa-aa" like sheep.:D
  17. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    when i saw NFG...the lead singer (Jordan) said some thing like "Somone give a security guard a hug. THESE ARE THE BEST F***ING SECURITY GUARDS IN NEW JERSEY!!!"

    whole crowd then errupts into laughter and cheers

  18. On a Silverchair radio gig Daniel Johns mockingly said something along the lines of

    "Oh no, can't get my guitar plug into the little hole! Where's my guitar tech!?"

    Refreshing not to have rock stars take themselves too seriously.
  19. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    I saw Les Claypool and his flying frog brigade recently, and he had some interesting comments for two guys dressed like Fred Durst trying to mosh. Les said something like this, "hey this isn't some Linp Bizkit show, people hear are trying to listen to the music. Why don't you guys chill out and get yourselves a drink? Not a beer, that makes the testoterone go up, how about a nice red wine!"
  20. Once at a The Distillers concert Brody Armstrong spit on my friend eric while playing (purposely) my friend eric pulls his body so half of his body is on stage and hocks a loogie right back on brody.

    Kick ass.