Funny stuff done in the name of defence....

Marlat · Jul 21, 2008

THe idea that the SAS may be parachuting German Shepherds out of planes with camera's attached to their head got me thinking. We should start a thread of all the random cool things that you have heard about being proposed (or actually done) by the armies of the world.

A couple of my favourites are without a doubt, Project X-Ray and the "gay bomb":

Project X-Ray said:

Bat bombs were tiny incendiary bombs attached to bats, that were developed by the United States during World War II with the hope of attacking mainland Japan. Four biological factors gave promise to this plan. First, bats occur in large numbers (four caves in Texas are each occupied by several million bats). Second, bats can carry more than their own weight in flight (females carry their young sometimes twins). Third, bats hibernate, and while dormant they do not require food or complicated maintenance. Fourth, bats fly in darkness, then find secretive places (such as flammable buildings) to hide during daylight.

The plan was to release bomb-laden bats at night over Japanese industrial targets. The flying bats would disperse widely, then at dawn they would hide in buildings and shortly thereafter built-in timers would ignite the bombs, causing widespread fires and chaos. The bat bomb idea was conceived by dental surgeon Lytle S. Adams, who submitted it to the White House in January, 1942, where it was subsequently approved by President Roosevelt.[1] Adams was recruited to research and obtain a suitable supply of bats.
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Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

the "gay bomb" said:

The "Halitosis bomb" and "Gay bomb" are informal names for two theoretical non-lethal chemical weapons, which a United States Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing.

In 1994 the Wright Laboratory in Ohio produced a three-page proposal on a variety of possible nonlethal chemical weapons, which was later obtained - complete with marginal jottings and typos - by the Sunshine Project through a Freedom of Information Act request.

In both of the documents, the possibility was canvassed that a strong aphrodisiac could be dropped on enemy troops, ideally one which would also cause "homosexual behavior". The documents described the aphrodisiac weapon as "distasteful but completely non-lethal". The "New Discoveries Needed" section of one of the documents implicitly acknowledges that no such chemicals are actually known. The reports also include many other off-beat ideas, such as spraying enemy troops with bee pheromones and then hiding numerous beehives in the combat area, and a chemical weapon that would give the enemy bad breath.
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Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb

BUt there has to be more awesome stories of weird stuff that armies have tried in the name of defence. I know for example, there was all the fake inflatable tanks and landing boats used in the UK for the purposes of fooling the German's prior to the start of WWII and the dead body that they used for the same purpose (the name of the operation with the dead body escapes me). But post anythinkg else amusing you can find or remember.

TheDarkReaver · Jul 21, 2008

I heard this one on QI:

Pigeon Guided Missle System (Project Pigeon)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon

jomahu · Jul 21, 2008

distant early warning

Disraeli Gears · Jul 21, 2008

I've got a good one (it's court defense, not national defense or anything)

In November 2001, Wooten was indicted on four counts of tax evasion, for the years 1995 to 1998. His defense in 2004 involved many implausible assertions. He claimed, for example, that the Internal Revenue Service is a debt collector based in Puerto Rico. He also used esoteric and arcane tax protester literature. 2001 (MMI) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar. ... This article contrasts tax evasion, tax avoidance, tax resistance and tax mitigation. ... 1995 (MCMXCV) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... 1998 (MCMXCVIII) was a common year starting on Thursday of the Gregorian calendar, and was designated the International Year of the Ocean [1]. // Coated in ice, power and telephone lines sag and often break, resulting in power outages. ... shelby was here 2004 (MMIV) was a leap year starting on Thursday of the Gregorian calendar. ... Seal of the Internal Revenue Service The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is the United States federal government agency that collects taxes and enforces the internal revenue laws. ... A tax protester is an individual who denies the obligation to pay a tax (for which the government has determined that person is liable) based on a belief that the government is acting outside of its legal authority when imposing such taxes. ...

The court ordered a competency evaluation and postponed the trial.

On May 4, 2005, Future Man pleaded guilty to one count of tax evasion; however, his reason for not paying taxes was, "I don't need to pay taxes, I'm from the future." He was sentenced on August 8 of 2005 to two years probation and was ordered to pay $131,000 in back taxes.
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FL Knifemaker · Jul 21, 2008

Catapults firing rotting animals over castle walls seems kind of funny. Not that I would be on the receiving end of course I guess that's assault not defense though Still Monty Pythonishly funny

Phalex · Jul 21, 2008

Taunting is funny.

i_got_a_mohawk · Jul 21, 2008

FL Knifemaker said: ↑

Catapults firing rotting animals over castle walls seems kind of funny. Not that I would be on the receiving end of course I guess that's assault not defense though Still Monty Pythonishly funny
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Nah, for it to be Monty Pythonishly funny it needs to be living animals (and it would be in the name of defense!)

Johnny Fila · Jul 21, 2008

I remember seeing something about Japanese balloon bombs on TV, so I googled it: http://www.unexplainable.net/artman/publish/article_8992.shtml

pretty useless overall.

Relic · Jul 21, 2008

Not specifically animal-related but intriguing nonetheless.

British Aircraft carriers made out of ice?? mais oui..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Habbakuk

PSPookie · Jul 21, 2008

The Quarter http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_football_strategy#Defensive_formations

Pilgrim · Jul 21, 2008

I can think of a few well-known political figures I'd like to drop out of planes. Many improvements would result.

(Feel free to imagine any names you wish - this post fits all political persuasions!)

thumpbass1 · Jul 21, 2008

The beloved United States Navy did do some research on using the Frisbee hand thrown disc as model platform for some form of delivery system back around the time of the Viet Nam War. I guess it proved it to be a failure. I wonder if they came up with any really cool hi-tech Frisbee launchers.

cdef · Jul 21, 2008

I'm reminded of a WWII story (that may not be true), to the effect that the Nazis once constructed a dummy airfield entirely out of wood. According to the story, the RAF acknowledged this by dropping a large wooden bomb on it.

kesslari · Jul 21, 2008

Catapults firing rotting animals over castle walls seems kind of funny.
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That was early biological warfare - lots of germs in rotting diseased animals.
Hornet hives and baskets of snakes were also launched from catapults, as far back as ancient Greece. I'd hate to see a misfire...

There was also a plan to drop foot long condoms over North Vietnam, in packages labled "Made in USA, size Medium". I think it was called "Operation Penis Envy"

Another was a plan to use some kind of powder to get Fidel Castro's beard to fall out...

Marcus · Jul 21, 2008

I read that the United States tried to kill Castro with an exploding cigar.

WyrdoBass · Jul 21, 2008

I heard that the the united states military tried to develop and perfect a bullet made entirely out of ice- for assasinations. The bullet would proposedly melt inside the body and leave no trace. instead it vaporized every time the powder ignited.

O.O what if you used a pressurized air system? no heat, high speeds... Hmm...

FL Knifemaker · Jul 21, 2008

i_got_a_mohawk said: ↑

Nah, for it to be Monty Pythonishly funny it needs to be living animals (and it would be in the name of defense!)
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Your right, the cow flying over the wall, MOOOING loudly, LOL!!

Or........I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!!

Joe Gress · Jul 21, 2008

BUSH!!!

Sorry.

anderbass · Jul 21, 2008

joeinsprings said: ↑

BUSH!!!

Sorry.
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You ain't the only one sorry about that...

WyrdoBass · Jul 21, 2008

ice bullet anyone?

kiddin o'course

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