Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by PICK, Jul 28, 2003.

  1. PICK


    Jan 27, 2002
    Sydney, Australia
    In light of the recent mini addiction of people wanting to be Gard (Mikemulcahy and myself). I decided to start this thread (With Gard's approval of course :D )

    So coming in September to a Cinema Near you:
    GARD- First Blood
    Gard first meets his arch enemy face to face in this brutal, gore filled beginning to the series.
    Next September:
    GARD II- The Revenge Of Fretted (Fretted is GARDs Arch enemy, played by adrian garcia)
    Thinking he had defeated Fretted once and for all Gard goes back to his happy life and job (At Bass Central) only to hear the Evil Dr. X (Xavier G) has resurrected Fretted and another fight to the death ensues.
    September 2005:
    GARD III- Speedbump Annihilator
    In this new addition to the series. Gard ,in an effort to make the entire world fret free, begins destroying speedbumps on the roads too. John Turner comes into this movie as Gard's friend but gets confused by his Double Neck Conklin as to whether he Likes fretted or fretless better and ends up in a mental assylum.
    September 2006:
    GARD IV- Natural Wood Lover (Adults Only)
    This is Gard's first (and last) attempt at being an Adult Movie star. PICK Refuses to work in this movie. (Parental Warning- This movie is Rated XXX)
    September 2007:
    GARD V- Fretted's Last Stand (Guest Appearence by Brendan)
    In this installment Gard hears that the evil Dr. X Has once again resurrected Fretted and has also created an evil sidekick for fretted, called Brendan. This formidible combination is only finally defeated when Gard gets the special Pheno-wood fretless pill from Joe Zon.
    September 2008:
    GARD 666- The Evil Gard
    Dr.X finally catches up with Gard and PICK and turns Gard evil. Gard turns on PICK defeating him with a his Fretless Zon and then Annihilates the entire world, except for a group of bassists lead by PICK (Resurrected by Mikemulcahy) who creates a elite team of bassists known as Team Talkbass and they vow to continue to hunt Gard until he no longer breathes.

    Quick rundown of the story line.
    Gard is a Fretless bassplaying super hero come to save the world from the villian known as Fretted.
    Gard shoots frets from his fretless Zon Sonus Special. His sidekick PICK (Me) throws deadly guitar picks.
    In his hideout he has a Butler called Mikemulcahy who also cares for Gard and PICK if they get injured.
  2. I might have to actually go see them...fretted sounds evil man...
  3. PICK


    Jan 27, 2002
    Sydney, Australia
    And why is Fretted so bad you ask???
    He has begun travelling the world on his Fretted Wishnevsky pressing and glueing little metal frets into all the wood he can find.
  4. Gard

    Gard Commercial User

    Mar 31, 2000
    Greensboro, NC, USA
    General Manager, Roscoe Guitars
    One might think that this would be flattering...

    ...but it is actually more disturbing!



  5. That is like....the best series that will ever come out...IM BUYING THEM ALL!
  6. Wow, sounds like my type of movies when do they come out I'll have to rush out and see them and get them when released on DVD. :D
  7. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    You know you like being famous :D
  8. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    That was entirely too funny. But one question....A BUTLER?????? I think better yet I become Gards go to man....TARD TABEVIL to the rescue!!!!! But a butler?????? That hurt.

    Funny stuff.

  9. PICK


    Jan 27, 2002
    Sydney, Australia
    But you are the butler that supplies Gard with all his secret weapons and gets in touch with Joe Zon when Gard needs more weapons. You are also Gard and PICKs special doctor that heals them when Fretted gets them with his turbo Fretting weapon.
  10. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    Mike, you're like Alfred, Batman's super cool butler. Not just any butler :cool:
  11. cassanova


    Sep 4, 2000
    lmao....all those years of college and med school to be cast as a butler
  12. PICK


    Jan 27, 2002
    Sydney, Australia
    But he is the super special butler. He resurrects me when i get killed by Gard. He also joins the fight to help us destroy Gard and the Evil Dr. X.
    We would win too. Team Talkbass would be huge!!
  13. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Gard, you've spent how much time with me, and you STILL find anything disturbing? You've got less mettle than I thought, then...
  14. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss

    No doubt, get my agent on the phone STAT!!!

    :D :D

  15. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    i think someone has way to much free time
  16. PICK


    Jan 27, 2002
    Sydney, Australia
    Ok, you've been a member for 6 months more than i have yet you seem to have 5 times the amount of posts that i do!! So who is the one with too much free time?????
  17. Eric Moesle

    Eric Moesle Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2001
    Columbus OH
    Anybody else getting visions of stalking here???? Or is it just me????
  18. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    dammit! i forgot the little ":D"

    i didn't mean it the way it sounded without the little thingy...

    and i kno i have no life..but i don't write plots for movies with it :D
  19. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    [towlie voice on]

    Oh man, I have no idea what's goin' on.

    [/towlie voice off]
  20. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    woot! let me get the popcorn!!!

    *Stares at bag starting to pop in microwave with glee and drool.*