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Getting to know your crush's girlfriend

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Steph Dawe, Nov 18, 2004.

  1. I apologise in advance for filling TB yet again with another "boy/girl troubles" thread but you know how it is. Plus, us being a family, you expect these things to pop up from time to time.

    A group of friends and I are going Laser Skirmishing on Sunday night; and I said to my crush that he was welcome to bring his date along - I might as well get used to seeing them together.

    Anyway, long thread short, have you guys ever been in that kind of situation where you feel really uncomfortable (in this kind of scenario)? I know my mum has with my dad's girlfriends, but I'm not really close to my mum, especially with stuff like this. The Internet is a bit more annonymous.

    Plus, if you don't have an earth-shattering story to tell, you can always make it up to make me feel better. :smug:
  2. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Wow...who would have thought that Khay0s had a girlfriend!

    Have you told your crush how you feel about them? If not, you should, otherwise you will just keep hurting yourself over and over!
  3. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    I've been there. It sucks, but you either have to learn to deal with it and be happy for them or just don't see them anymore. Pretty simple, really. Get a new crush. I'm sure there are plenty of single guys here on TB that would be more than happy to take on the mantle of Steph's Crush™.
  4. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    Good advice. as horridly unthinkable it might seem. just as long as you are able to do it without making him feel terribly uncomfortable, and, more importantly, while keeping your dignity intact. sounds impossble, but honesty is generally the best policy. running the risk of sounding cliche', remember that you are young, and not having him is not the end of the world. if i had a dollar, (us or aus - :p ), for every girl i've had feelings for that i never dated, it might equal my revenue for gigs for the past 18 years. (ok, maybe that's overly dramatic, i'm not THAT pathetic, but it sure sounds impressive in the spirit of this post - ;) ). i can think of a gal that i fancy right now, but she's dating and i'm friends with both of them. i see them about once a week, it was a bit difficult, but i've learned to be realistic, and have learned to not throw away our platonic relationship just because something more isn't available. take heart, you seem to be a really nice girl, and hard as it is to belive, personality goes a long way with us guys, so i don't think you'll have any trouble attracting guys. (i'd tell you that you are pretty too, but that sounds way too lecherous from a 36 year old guy to a 17 year old girl over the internet or otherwise. talk about cliche'. - :p ) if all else fails, shoot her repeatedly at the laser skirmish, and ask him to go out on a date over her corpse. - :D
  5. xyllion

    xyllion Commercial User

    Jan 14, 2003
    San Jose, CA, USA
    Owner, Looperlative Audio Products
    Ah, too be young and in love.

    There is nothing that any of us can say that will make things feel better. Try to keep in mind that you aren't the first to go through this, nor will you be the last. I was 26 when I met the woman that is now my wife. Before that happened though, I met many girls/women that I fell for. Some dated me and others never did. At the time, the losses hurt, but looking back I have fond memories of all that I experienced.
  6. RoyQBiv


    Nov 8, 2002
    Bellingam, WA
    Everyone has to go through this sort of thing--everyone. It's never really easy. I think everyone has sympathy for you. I agree with the idea that you should tell the person how you feel--but right after they get together with someone probably isn't the fairest time...that's the sort of thing to take care of while everyone is still free and single.

    Hmm...talking about this is almost enough to inspire me to make a bold move with a certain someone...but I just got out of a looooong relationship, so I had better cool it for a while.
  7. kserg


    Feb 20, 2004
    London, UK
    A funny and a good advice... you have outdone yourself as usual:)

    what he said... but yeah... i guess live with it (dont tell him now)... i wouldnt say brake your friendship over it... who knows... they might brake up, but dont tell em now :)

    Sorry, i was abit drunk and thought i could post... ignore my comments as whatever i do doesnt work for me... "i'd do a beagle if i could..."

  8. alright steph, this is something i do know about.

    I'm known as the go-to guy with my buds.. coz with crap like this, just go-to me and problem solved.

    One situation was my guitarist was after a girl, but she was already going out with someone, and she would bring him everywhere.. don't get me wrong this boyfriend was a nice guy, really sweet and everything, but when it comes to stuff like this i always have my buddies back..

    so anyway whenever the four of us head out.. i would always 'run interference' with this boyfriend, ask him about his job, family, life, everything and anything to keep him occupied while my guitarist was busy holding down convo's with the girl.

    a few months later and the guitarist and the girl is living in china together!!

    the point im trying to make is, with guys and girls is that when they are usually going out with someone all focus is on that boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Most of the time you can make all the attempts and drop as many hints as you like but as long as that person is in theyre line of site, you might be wasting your time.. if you can however get someone to
    'run interference' you can really spend some quality time them.

    yeah this sounds really stupid.. but its been constantly working for me and my budds..

    good luck with your crush!
  9. Yep I've had my experiences when I was younger on both sides
    But I agree that Honesty is the best policy so don't get disheartened I'm sure there would be another catch around the corner if he does'nt budge
    Anyway Like I said earlier in another thread
    "There's plenty of fish in the sea " Just gotta be the right time for the fish to bite :D

    Hmmm speaking about fish I'm gonna fry one of my flounders that I caught in the weekend

    So Good Luck and may I say Good Hunting :bag:
  10. Gia


    Feb 28, 2001
    if his girlfriend finds out you have a crush on him, more than likely she will be mighty pissed off that you invited him, even if she was invited too.

    pissed off if she sees you as a threat, or she'll try to make you feel jealous and inadequate if you're not a pheasible threat.

    i dunno, this is if she's a mean bitchy girl of course.
  11. Whoops...

    I've already told him. It was Leigh's idea. Well, I was planning to anyway - but the same day I was going to tell him was the day I heard he was seeing this other girl. Shatter City. So I guess I've gone against all advice - but I'm new to all of this. Like, I've never had a boyfriend before, so it's kinda scary. And I became a bit upset by the whole thing, acting weird around him and stuff, so he kinda figured. I hate this. :mad:

    :rollno: He wishes. :p j/k

    That's what I'm planning to do. The whole point of saying I was cool with Bec coming along was to get to know her a bit better. I'm trying my hardest to be supportive for him, but it's hard sometimes and my heart can take over, often at the worst times possible.

    I invited him originally as he's a friend from school (best buds since year 8!) along with all the other guys we hang around with at school... I suggested that he bring Bec, actually - might as well get used to it.

    I've known her for a total time of 15 minutes. :meh:

    Thanks for the support, guys.
  12. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I know what thats like.

    My type of girl is also the kind of person I like to be friends with so it happens that I fall for my friends or become friends with my crushes. Either way, I end up hanging out with these girls and I end up meeting their significant others.

    The best thing to do is hope that their other is a good person that you can get along with, and wish them the best. If it doesnt work out with them, then you can take a shot. If it does, well, then you have a new friend.
  13. Make her dissapear, and be very quiet about it.:D

    No, just give it time. No one EVER has a long term relationship with ANYONE in high school. Having said that, I must give out the disclaimer that Meghan and I dated for 2 years during highschool.:D So there are exceptions. BUT, most relationships don't last more than a month or two, so just be patient. You'll have your chance soon.

    Rock on
  14. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I had one yeah and 4 month relationship followed by a year and 2 month relationship in highschool. ;)
  15. Non-conformist freak.:D

    Rock on
  16. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin Bitten by the luthiery bug...

    Oct 8, 2001
    Budapest, Hungary, EU
    And all the while be close to him and be supportive and stuff :ninja:

    Yeah, my longest was about two days when she talked with her friends and they decided that I was not cool :rolleyes:
    High-school dating sucks
  17. Most of my friends in school have been with their girl/boyfriends for a year or more.
  18. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    damn... I just posted a boy/girl trouble thread... :crying:
  19. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    You know she's talking about you, dude...er..mate.


    What better way to find and point out all the flaws of your crush's woman than to spend time with her! :D

    brad cook