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Girlfriends Ruining My Band!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by berserk, Apr 16, 2002.

  1. berserk


    Aug 24, 2000
    Parma, Ohio
    I don't know what to do anymore. I am single and intend to stay that way cause girls are nothing but trouble. But, the other two guys in my band are practically married to their girlfriends. The guitarist and drummer are both amazing musicians and good friends, the guitarist is my best friend, but they don't show up to practice and seem to care less and less about the band. I don't have anything against the girls, they just take up all my buds' time and energy. I could even potentially end up with two Yoko Onos on my hands. This all comes at a nasty time too cause we are working on originals and have a chance to really succeed because people are offering us opportunities and we play and write very well together. The drummer hasn't shown up to practice in nearly a month now, every time he has to take care of his girlfriend who lives with him and doesn't have a car. Plus he is nearly impossible to get ahold of. The guitarist hasn't really written much since he started dating his girl and he is always tired and unmotivated when he shows to practice. I have tried talking to them but they just blow it off or make more commitments that dont pull through. I feel absolutely alone. I set up all the practices and I have to try to organize anything that goes on because either they don't have the time or the desire to. Then I get left high and dry when it comes time for them to do their part. Has anyone else had this kind of situation that they had to deal with? If so, what did you do about it or what could I do to get my band back? I am just totally lost on what to do...
  2. I live by a simple rule, well a few ones, but this situation applies to a favorite one. quite simply "You can't serve two masters" Girlfriends and wifes arent a problem per se, but anything that is getting in your way of progress to where you wanna go is a bad thing. And if your bandmates dont show up for reasons like drugs, girls, work, etc especially when they are supposed to be, that is a bomb waiting to explode. Having portions of a band with different goals and interests is a kiss of death.
  3. my advice: read Othello, and construct similar devious plots to turn your band against their girlfriends.*

    *may not work unless you're okay with everybody tragically dying.
  4. Get another band, make it big and when you’re on the podium at the Grammy awards say:

    "I would like to thank the girlfriends of my previous band without whom I would not be here tonight"
  5. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    That is a brilliant idea. :D
  6. I really like DHC's idea but I think you should start with a different path first.

    Get them all together for a movie night and rent Spinal Tap.
  7. Brilliant.

    "The Dubly's all wrong!"
  8. Why dont u invite their girlfriends to come to the practices? then they'll (hopefully) show up and spend time with their girlfriends at the same time
  9. Watch "Spinal Tap" and you'll see why that's not a good idea.

    Linda McCartney--more than Yoko Ono--demonstrated that music and girlfriends should not mix, although her interference was on the business, and not artistic, end.
  10. .. ouch.. i guess it'll only work if the girlfriends were somewhat interested in music and not the money in it..
  11. berserk


    Aug 24, 2000
    Parma, Ohio
    PhatBoi5, you definitely understand my fear, I think I may just tell them what you said because they do CLAIM this is what they wanna do first and foremost, what they say and what they do just isn't matching up.

    Im too nice a guy to pull off a devious Othello plot (though the idea has its merits;)).

    Another fun way of gloating after winning a Grammy would be asking them if they wanna open for me :cool:

    The Spinal Tap thing could work. They both love it. "It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

    The sad thing about these girlfriends is they don't want to come to practice and aren't interested in the music. I don't quite get these girls, they worry me cause all the girls I have dated would get super horny just watching me play and loved our music. I hope my friends don't turn out to be chumps. Thanks for all the comments. You guys made my day, I laughed like crazy reading the responses. Good Day
  12. Hint


    Nov 20, 2001
    The Loony Bin.
    hmmm i see alot of opinion in one vein but i got to say. yes its iritaiting to see you band fall down around you but... your surely you should be happy for your mates they have what they want.
    i'd say confront them and say to them. "if you guys aren't going to put any efort in then im gonna have to find some guys who will."
  13. jvasquez18


    Sep 23, 2000
    S.E. 323, 13

    in spanish, they're called "mandilones" (Man-dee-lon-es). My baby chiken is my intern agent, she gets me bands and such. she's cool:).

    hell yea, i'm earning points with her right now :D. but don't tell her ;)
  14. I agree with Josh. If they can't seem to find time to make it to Practice they aren't very serious about it and you should find new band mates that know how to balance things out.
  15. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    'It needs more Dubly.'
  16. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    New band.
  17. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    I'd say you can't really blame the girls...even if they're pointedly trying to undermine the band and take your friends away from the group. If the guys don't have the backbone, cojones, or commitment to put their priorities in order, they're not people you want to depend on.

    They can still be your friends without being your band-mates, though.
  18. Turock


    Apr 30, 2000
    If it was important to them, they would do whatever it takes. I would try to find some members with goals more in line with my own. The sooner the better. Those guys do not sound serious, and you are wasting you're time.
  19. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Agreed. JT can balance his time between his beautiful wife, his band AND changing strings to his Conklins.(and we all know what kind of task that is! :eek: )

    So, if they're not intrested keeping up with the band, then they're not.

    But better yet than splitting up with these guys, join a different band and keep the old one as a project.
  20. Craig Garfinkel

    Craig Garfinkel

    Aug 25, 2000
    Hartford, CT
    Endorsing Artist: Sadowsky Guitars
    Huh? Are you the bandleader or is the band run by committee? You say they're your good friends, but I've never had a good friend who would show me such disrespect as to not show for a rehearsal. IMO you should tell them you don't understand their lack of commitment for something that's as much fun as you can have with your pants on, and no matter how often you do it you still have plenty of time and energy for the other kind of fun.

    To be a bit crude here (sorry ladies...) being 20 years old and in a popular band and having a steady girlfriend makes about as much sense as spending your honeymoon on spring break.
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    Primary TB Assistant

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