Goofy, funny, crazy stories of a mis-spent youth...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by drummer5359, Jan 23, 2017.

  1. Last week I shared a stupid but true story from my twenties in the "Drinking, then driving after a gig" thread in the "Bass humor and gig stories" section. When I was young I was always up for an adventure, sometimes they ended up as misadventures. I thought it would be fun to start a thread where we could each tell some of our funnier "oops moments" of the past. My intent is to keep this of the "PG" variety, since we have a wide ranging membership.

    I'll go first.

    My father was a railroad man, as were three of his brothers. My grandfather was a railroader as well, all of them had worked for the Pittsburgh and Lake Erie Rail Road. (P&LE) When I was twelve years old my father explained to me that there was a particular way to hop on or off of a moving train in order to keep from breaking your legs. I paid attention and thought that it was pretty cool.

    It was summertime, a couple of weeks after that conversation, a few of my friends and I were hiking through some woods. We came into a clearing where the Baltimore and Ohio cuts through Pittsburgh. We walked along the tracks as a slow moving west bound train passed. I told them that my father had explained to me the correct way to jump on or off of a train. Then I demonstrated it, I jumped on, then off. Then they tried it. We kept doing it again and again and decided that it would be amusing to stay on for a minute or two. Then the train picked up speed...

    The train did not slow down until we reached a rail yard in Youngstown Ohio. We hopped off and had to figure out first of all where we were. Then, since it was originally my idea, I had to call my father collect to come rescue us. He did, and gave me a serious chewing out. Eight years later when my father passed away a couple of his friends told me that he actually thought that it was pretty damned funny.

    This is just my first story, it happened in 1971. Share some of yours and then I'll share another one.
  2. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Oh, sweet Jesus...where to start? :cool:
  3. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    We lived in a small town with a fairly large historic grist mill and accompanying dam. A lot of our childhood exploits took place around the mill, dam and the river that powered the mill. moreover, the mill was purported to haunted. late one night in the summer of 1977, my buddies and I decided to get into the mill to see if we could see the ghost. Going through the front door or any window would have been a bit too intrusive and would have involved breaking something - not what a bunch of 10 year olds wanted to do! So we went down to river level and climbed up through opening that housed the turbines into the mill. Part of this involved climbing onto and over the turbines! We were in the mill no longer than a few minutes when we heard a bunch of creaking and groaning and machinery starting to move around a bit. For sure the ghost was making its appearance. We were totally freaked. But not as freaked as we were when we realized it was the turbines that were moving - the same ones were were climbing over just a few minutes before. Turned out there was an open window on the ground floor so we could exit. We called that adventure "Operation Three O'Clock".
    drummer5359 likes this.
  4. I would, but I'm not entirely sure the statute of limitations is up.
    Oddly, Son of Wobble, fhm555 and 6 others like this.
  5. I wouldn't know where to start. I fear some of the digressions would be longer than the stories.

    Yes, stories. Plural.

  6. Killed_by_Death

    Killed_by_Death Snaggletooth Inactive

    as far as driving while intoxicated goes
    one night I came out of the Whisky & wanted to go to the Hard Rock Café
    I'm not even sure why, just one of those dumb drunk ideas
    ended up in Venice beach, since I went the wrong way, LOL
    I just laid on the beach until I was sober enough to get back to San Pedro

    I think I can disclose the wild stuff we did in Tijuana now, but A. it wouldn't be appropriate & B. I can't recall that well

    BTW, I never did make it to the HRC in L.A. & tend to avoid them. The one in Thailand is a great place to find gals who dig hard rock though, which is unusual in "regular" society there
    Roy Royerson likes this.
  7. catcauphonic

    catcauphonic High Freak of the Low Frequencies Supporting Member

    Mar 30, 2012
    Seattle WA
    Can't recall a lot of the details of youth cuz I'm still misspending @ 47.75yo :woot:
  8. Took my red Fender Mustang guitar that my parents worked their butt off to give me for my 8th grade graduation and then sprayed it black with a can of cheap spray paint. Still have the guitar stored in the garage almost 50 years later. Stupid kid.
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2017
    DirtDog and fretter like this.
  9. I drank the fifth, I mean, I plead the fifth.
    ShredderMaximus and fretter like this.
  10. fretter


    May 24, 2012
    When I got my first grownup bicycle, it was a hand me down, the folding kind. I thought I'd be cool and show it to my buddy. We rode around with it for a while and then took it apart. The problem was we couldn't get the two parts back together. When we showed up back home each carrying half a bicycle, we didn't look too cool.
    blastoff99, DirtDog and shadowtippy like this.
  11. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Oh yeah, I feel that one. Did the same thing with a three speed bike my folks bought me when I was 10. It was black, but my friend and I thought it would look better in gold (like the Trans Am in Smokey and Bandit). Took the entire thing apart, wheels, derailleurs, handlebars, cables, etc. And spray canned that motha straight gold! Put the bike back together (mostly, there were a few spare parts). My old man had a minor conniption when he got home from work.

    Come to think of it, most of my mis-spent youth stories happened when I was "about 10" with another cluster around 16 or 17. My god, my poor parents!
    GregC and Stewie26 like this.
  12. Killed_by_Death

    Killed_by_Death Snaggletooth Inactive

    I went to a high school reunion 5 years ago & almost every story my old friends remembered about me was something decadent or taboo, so I can't mention them here
    a lot of that stuff I'd forgotten about, as it was just another day in my life to me, LOL!
    Son of Wobble likes this.
  13. I started this thread with one of my old stories and promised I'd add another. Oops, it's been five months.

    As kids my brother and were sort of daredevils, we liked pushing the envelope just a bit.

    We had a mini bike and double lot in the city. My parents were out shopping, so we thought that we would build a ramp out of lumber that our father bought for a home improvement project and a few cement blocks, the intent was to try to jump the driveway like Evel Knievel. What could possibly go wrong? :D

    My brother tried it first and we quickly determined that he weighed too much to get the prerequisite speed needed for the jump within the width of our yard. I being three years younger and small for my age was the perfect fool for this experiment. And it really went well the first time... My brother pushed me to help me accelerate fast enough, I held the throttle wide open and made it across the driveway. It was actually pretty cool. My brother talked me into trying it again.

    On the second attempt several things went wrong. First of all, I thought that I'd missed the ramp. I pulled my leg in so that I would not rip it off. This cause me to go up the ramp sideways, missing the clear landing zone. I landed all crossed up, bounced and connected with a tree. When I struck the tree, I went one way and the mini bike went the other. The other problem was that my parents pulled in front of the house just as I was crashing. They were not amused.
    GregC likes this.
  14. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    I'll leave it at this...
    My wife hired a guy who (coincidentally) was from my home town (other side of the country - NJ vs. CA). He was a couple of years younger than me.
    When he said the town he was from, she asked him if he knew me. He stared at her for a moment when he heard my name, and said "Holy crap, you're married to Captain Trips?"
    She razzed me no end when she got home...
  15. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    It was 1970 and I was in my last year of high school. The town I lived in was very blue collar and somewhat conservative. Our school librarian was a holdover from another time (that's all I'm saying). She was asked by a certain student if there were any Oscar Wilde books in the library.
    She made a face like she had just smelled a fart and said, "We don't have that kind of trash here."
    On the wall behind her was a Reader's Digest poster listing the 10 signs of communism. Censorship was listed as one of the evils of communism.
    The outspoken youngster pointed at the sign and said "You're a communist."
    For his reward he was sent to the principles office. After that it was on, a certain group of students plotted their revenge.
    First it was "The great book turn in." Other students were encouraged to check out the limit of books from the library. At the appointed day quite a few students showed up to turn in their books right as the librarian was ready to go home. I heard that she was quite flustered.
    Next was the "Great upside down book caper." Three students decided to enter the library at night and turn all the books upside down.
    It had been raining and they trudged through the mud until they were right under a library window. One kid pulled out a glass cutter and did his best to scratch a neat circle in the window glass and gain entry. He tried several times but it sure didn't work like he had seen on Mission Impossible. One of the hooligans pointed to a substantial rock squished down in the muddy garden. Evil grins broke out on the faces of the vindictive youths.
    It wasn't long before the window surrounded to the rock with a loud crash. The three young perpetrators ran in terror and hid in the bushes. It was so quite they could hear their own panicked breathing. After a significant time had passed the three delinquent's returned to the window and crawled into the library.
    They set to work with joy flipping books upside down and replacing them on the shelves. After about 20 minutes of frenzied activity a bell chimed several times and the three youths fled in panic. They were like the Three Stooges as they all tried to jump out the window at the same time. Finally they calmed enough to leap through the window one at a time and flee the campus.
    The next day everyone at school was talking about the great break in. The police were there and they roped off the crime scene so one could destroy the evidence. They even took plaster prints from the muddy tracks leading to and away to the window.
    The librarian was heard saying "We'll get these troublemakers who ever they are."
    It was said the notorious book turners gang was never caught and their identity remains a mystery to this day. :angel: :whistle:
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2017
  16. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Whoa there horsey, you're Jerry Garcia?
  17. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    Not me. I have no idea how that nickname got applied to me... No, really...
    slobake likes this.
  18. Baird6869

    Baird6869 Supporting Member


    I hate going to weddings and funerals as my wife gets to hear about how much of a [email protected] I was when I was young. Over and friggin over!
    Killed_by_Death likes this.
  19. foudufafa


    Aug 28, 2013
    Boston, MA
    I vaguely remember when I was 10 and a bunch of us somehow ended up at a friends house when his parents weren't around. No alcool involved but a few of us managed to set his living room rug on fire. We were able to put it out and get out of there. We were never invited back at his house.

    Here is another about one of my big regrets in life. I grew up in Belgium and the way our high school celebrated our final year was to organize a 2 day field trip at trappist abbey called Maredsous (yes, the school took us where they make beer. That's Belgium). So that evening, they threw a party with a DJ and gave us, I am not making this up, all you can drink free beer.
    Now this super hot chick was going out with the school's hot guy but he ended up getting kicked out and sent back home earlier. She was a tall blond, fully developed body, tons of sex appeal, and very "open minded". So I start chatting with her, and drinking Maredsous (these were triple btw), and chatting, and drinking some more. Anyhow, we end up in one of the bedrooms. She looks open to my advances and I had no thoughts at all about the boyfriend as he was a womanizer anyway. She steps out a few minutes for a bathroom break, and I kid you not, I fell asleep while she was out of the room. I wake up the next morning and the first thing she said is "you missed your opportunity". 33 years later, I still remember her name and feel like punching myself in the face. talk about mis-spent night.
  20. TOOL460002


    Nov 4, 2004
    Santa Cruz
    Oh man. I'm going to hell for this one, but in high school we used to go waterballooning people at night. One of my circle of friends may have had a four door car where the rear windows rolled completely down (no child secure whatever) and a sunroof for 360 degree ballooning. It was ideal. It didn't look like the make of the car. It could barely be identified by anyone complaining.

    Anyway, four of us would roll out and hit people in crosswalks in downtown areas and other terrible things. At the time it was funny, but I feel a little bad about it to be honest. I feel worse about the balloons that, prior to filling with water, had a water purification iodine tablet put inside it, so that when a target was hit, it smelled like iodine and stained bright yellow. That was just mean.

    We did all kinds of stupid crap with cars, especially in developing track housing. Entire neighborhoods just empty at night? Uh... races? 4x4 action? Bad ideas? Lots!
    catcauphonic likes this.