Got into it with an audience member

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Woodchuck, Dec 16, 2001.

  1. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Last night my R&B band played this club. Everyone was really into it, dancing, cheering, and singing along. In the middle of one of the songs, this older fat lady pulls on my sleeve and asks if we could lower the volume, because she and her friends are trying to talk.:rolleyes: The band leader is a VERY nice guy, so he obliges. A few minutes later, she waddles back over, and asks us to turn it down some more. THIS time, I handled it. I told her that if they wanted to have a convo, they should've gone somewhere else. The rest of the audience was beginning to tire of her as well. She goes, "Look just turn it down, okay?!" I said, "Bl*w me!" After that the fur started flying! It was great!:p Then I go, "Look, we don't do dinner music. Go sit down, and have another ham." Her "man":rolleyes: Started to come over, and managemant stepped and offered to give them back their money if they left. "Me and my friends are trying to have a conversation."? Give me a break.:rolleyes:
  2. erik II

    erik II

    Jul 11, 2000
    Oslo, Norway
    My band has a standard procedure for this (we mostly play at a reasonable volume): Act polite. Say "Sure", go to mixer and pretend to adjust. Keep playing at same volume. If asked once more, repeat procedure. Third time, repeat procedure, but turn the volume up a little.
  3. anon5458975


    Apr 5, 2001
    Ya know if Bessie had just taken your advice she could have enjoyed the music while having no possible means of conversation. Problem solved all around. ;)
  4. Kinda reminds me of a joke me and my guitarist have been joking about. The quickest way of getting your ass kicked: Go to a Pantera concert and yell up on stage, "Excuse me, Mr. Dimebag, your guitar is a bit loud."
  5. I am unclear on your story.

    You asked a waddling, fat, older woman to Bl*w you?

  6. Ari Schor

    Ari Schor

    Mar 3, 2000
  7. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    What else would she be good for??? :D :D
  8. I think Eric's got the idea on this one - non-confrontational and mocking at the same time!

    A drummer friend of mine does a similar thing with requested songs. Whenever a drunken idiot saunters up to request Green Day during a wedding reception, tell him you'll play it in the next set. If he asks again, tell him it'll be during the next set. If he persists, tell him you've already played it.
  9. Robert B

    Robert B Somewhere under the rainbow Supporting Member

    Jan 21, 2000
    Rittman, OH, USA
    I was playing in a small bar in Tacoma back in the late 70's. We were on a stage about 2' above the dance floor. This drunk comes up in the middle of a number and motions me over. He says he lost his leather jacket and thinks he laid it on the stage while he was dancing. I told him I hadn't seen it, but he just kept coming over and bugging me, getting more and more obnoxious and implying that maybe we had lifted his jacket. I tried to be patient with the guy, but finally got fed up and told him to F--- off, that I was trying to work and had better things to do than look for his jacket. The guy walks off.

    About 10 minutes later, there's a big commotion at the back door with a bunch of people rushing back there. Where I'm at on stage, I can't see what's happening. At break, I find out the guy was coming in the back door with a shotgun, and his friends took it away from him and escorted him out. I can't help but wonder if it was me he was coming for. You've got to be careful...
  10. And if the top of her head was flat . . .
  11. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    I was playing at a bar few months ago and as soon as we got to the place. this nasty guy comes walking up and mumbles something to the piano player.. our piano player is lacking in common sense and keeps asking "what did you say" huh?" just not getting it.. well I immediatly noticed the guy was trying to sell us some crack, i walked up and was like " hey pal we're not interested"... and walk away.. he comes up latr all freaked ou and saying " Man I don't want any trouble I just wanted to be polite and ask" i told him it was ok and there wouldn't be any trouble just not to keep asking.. well about 30 minutes later he walks back up to th piano player and hands him a rock... I looked over and Adam (the piano player) had no idea what it was.. I said "adam put that down daggumit" and I proceded to tell the guy if he bothered us one more time he was going to regret it.. he didn't bother us... Now Im 6'7... but i'm just tall. that guy was about 5'9 but probably weighed 265.. i was thinking this guy is going to kicke my arse... but i guess my height fulled him and he backed away..
  12. hey mature = experience.

    thats my saying for this week.


  13. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    Hmmmm... We usually get told that we are not loud enough. Actually, the singer and the guitarist get told that they are not loud enough. I get told that, "The bass is too loud, man!" or "I had to turn you down, you were rattling the windows." One time, someone told our guitarist that he wanted to hear some loud guitar, so "Jimbo the Guitar God" turns himself up, even though we had sound-checked him with the rest of the band and we were all in "perspective" with each other. Later, he confessed to turning up and then turning down, "So you guys wouldn't get pissed at me." Duh!

    I don't know if you handled the situation the right way, but it was a funny story anyway, warwicknut!
  14. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    ...with pistol-grip ears....
  15. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    I was playing on a tall stage in Texas once, and looked down to find a guy pointing a big old Ruger at me. I'd never seen him before but his obvious aim was to render me dead (to quote FFN). Things were looking bad when a girl came through the crowd and yanked the back of his shirt, saying "No, not him...THAT one" (pointing to our guitarist on other side of stage). I looked over and there was his guitar lying on the stage...he'd hauled ass out the back door without even turning the volume down.

    Sometimes you "get into it" with an audience member and don't even know it.
  16. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    If you were in my band and handled the situation like that I'd have thrown you out.
  17. *ToNeS*


    Jan 12, 2001
    Sydney AU
    because why? i woulda told that stupid moll to **** the hell off as well, without being courteous the first time around.
  18. bassmonkeee

    bassmonkeee Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    You take the obnoxious, obviously confused woman's side over Warwicknut's? I'm glad I'm not in your band, or I'd have to quit. :D

    You can be polite, and you can bend over backwards. And, there is no way you can possibly please someone who is a)rude, and obnoxious, B)the only one wants the music quieter. They humored her her, and she was still obnoxious. She was out of line. Period.

    I played a gig on Friday where this drunk kept coming over to the saxophonist, tugging on his arm and telling him to "play up high and make it squeal." Repeatedly. Didn't matter if it was during the piano player's solo, or during the head, etc. And, it was irritating. So, about the 4th, or 5th time, I gave him a look as he was walking over to us, and stepped in his path to the saxophone player. Basically, I dared him to come back. He got the hint.
  19. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Drunks are like dogs, you have to project a sort of dominance over them or they will continue to irritate you. (I don't mean hump their leg or anything.;)) Bassmonkee had the right idea. I can't fault Warwicknut either, he tried and the woman was clearly confused as to what the reality of the situation was. mchildree, congrats on not getting rendered dead! Gruff, you are a deeply disturbed but very funny man, may you never get psychiatric help.:D
  20. You know that has to be the best 2 word reply of all time, Bl*w me! It really says it all. And as far as telling her that, I would have done the same thing.

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