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Gotta take a test to get a drivers license, but any a**hole can be a parent...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by dryheatbob, Dec 23, 2004.


  1. I didn't know wheter to laugh or cry when I read this. Wound up doing a little of both.







    The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Scary to think these women are breeding ...

    1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

    2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

    3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

    4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

    5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

    6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

    7. I do not know who the father of my child was, as all (name of favorite ethic group here)s look the same to me.

    8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

    9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

    10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

    11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.



    My personal favorite is number 3. :smug:

    Bob
     
  2. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    After driving for about 20 years, I can say with a degree of certainty, that there are A$$****$! in many places including the major and minor roadways of America.

    What's the life expectancy of this thread? 45 minutes or so?
     
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    those sound like made up jokes to me.

    -Mike
     
  4. " No sweetie, i dont remember your fathers name, but I do remember that he put me in an orgasmic coma for a few moments. "


    That ********* he stole them AC/DC cds!
     
  5. Jason Carota

    Jason Carota Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 1, 2002
    Lowell, MA
    Ding! Ding! Ding! Winners!

    If all of them are true...... :rollno:
     
  6. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    It's frightening that a few of them sound like rape.

    Others sound like they're people being smarmy and taking the piss on the CSA. Great news for their kids.

    Yay, Family Values! Way to go America.


    I agree with P. Aaron, licensing doesn't do much to screen jerkfaces from getting on the road. Which isn't suprising seeing as much of the DMV is run by them.
     
  7. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Never heard that word before.

    -Mike
     
  8. Actually, the title of the thread is a reference to a line from the movie "Parenthood".

    Figured I wasn't the only one that would know it. Oops.

    Bob
     
  9. Number 5 had me rolling for a good while. Number 4 is a close second though...
     
  10. Petebass

    Petebass

    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    I find myself thinking about the woman with 10 kids who named them all "George", regardless of their sex. When asked why, she said it made things much easier. For example, before school each morning, all she had to say was "George, eat your breakfast", and saying it once covered all 10 kids.

    When asked wht would happen if she ever had to try and single out one of the children, she replied "In that situation, I use their surnames".
     
  11. FenderHotRod

    FenderHotRod

    Sep 1, 2004
    Arkansas
    1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.


    somebody had to make this Sh** up nobody can be that stupid. can they?
     
  12. DaveDeVille

    DaveDeVille ... you talkin' to me ?? Supporting Member

    is that an actual list of replys ?
    where did you come up with these ?
    do you really live in Phoenix ?
    :eyebrow:
    funny stuff , none the less ...
     

  13. A friend forwarded it to me. I can't speak for the veracity of the statements. I can say that, working in the medical field for 20+ years, I have indeed crossed paths with people that are in fact that dumb. And dumber.

    Truth be told, I live in Peoria, a suburb city of Phoenix. ;)


    Bob
     
  14. My favorite is definitely No. 11.

    11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. :D