Guitar Center story from The Onion

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by AaronVonRock, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. AaronVonRock


    Feb 22, 2013
  2. Linnin


    Jul 19, 2012
    Linningrad, Earth
    So it's a string thing, right? So if you want to make it BIG, we have play Thomastik-Infelds or Pyramids. :laugh: :roflmao: :laugh: :roflmao:
  3. Damn... I fell through the crack, again. Any body got a rope? ;):laugh:
    Jake72 likes this.
  4. MattZilla


    Jun 26, 2013
    Just finished my Behind The Music which starts at a GC.
  5. pnchad


    Nov 3, 2005
    I'm going tomorrow
  6. Rich Terry

    Rich Terry BassOmatic

    Sep 14, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    With all the "New" bands, *90's-2000's and GC and on line have put most mom and pop stores are gone
    I would think that most players have visited a GC at some point.

    How the hell do they come up with those numbers?
  7. Killer Of Giants

    Killer Of Giants Guest

    Jun 7, 2014
    Henderson, Nevada
    Actually I prefer Sam Ash. I went to a Guitar Center this past weekend to buy a power conditioner for my new Rack that I am building.. Seems that all the crappy people are gone out of there actually got good customer service for the first time in a long time. 3 years ago I went in there and bought a warlock bass and a GK head and 4/10 GK cab, they told me that they didn't have a case to fit the Bass so I had them order the coffin case, 4 weeks later still no case. I took it upon myself to call Coffin and they told me that they had no order for my case on file, they gave me the part number for the case I needed, and I called Guitar Center with the part number and low and behold, they had the case in stock the whole time so still Sam Ash is my first stop and GC is my last!
  8. wizerd


    Jan 5, 2012
    Prone to ranting, episodes of moral outrage.
    New band name ... "Damn the Cracks"
    PortlandBass77 likes this.
  9. lol I hadn't read the Onion in a while. Great article!
  10. hsech

    hsech Work hard. My Social Security needs a raise.

    Jun 27, 2012
    Central Iowa
    El Toro Poo Poo
  11. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Somehow I get the feeling that some people don't know about the Onion or didn't notice which forum this was posted in...
  12. High ISO

    High ISO

    Nov 11, 2013
    If music executives are truly prowling the aisles at Guitar Centers (at least the 2 or 3 I visit regularly) looking for the "next big thing" they're wasting their time. Unless the next big thing is cleverly disguised as a novice baby boomer, holding a $2000 Les Paul, painfully working his way through the opening riffs of Smoke on the Water.....
    Lownote38 likes this.
  13. AaronVonRock


    Feb 22, 2013
    That's another "layer" of The Onion that I really enjoy, when people don't realize what The Onion is. Two of my favorite examples are when a Republican congressman held a press conference condemming a story in The Onion about a massive abortion complex in Kansas providing wholesale abortions.

    And when some Chinese newspaper ran with The Onion story of Kim Jun Un being voted the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012.
    Jim Nazium and hrodbert696 like this.
  14. The Funk Congress piece is maybe the funniest thing I've read ever. Awesome.
    kcole4001 and hrodbert696 like this.
  15. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    David Jayne and Jah Wobble Fan like this.
  16. Hey Rich,
    74.506% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  17. My favourite part " Whether any of these fledgling reform movements will have a genuine impact on the entrenched groove machine is uncertain. One thing, however, is not: A growing number of citizens are fed up with the nation's current leadership for putting party politics before the need of the people to turn this mother out." : D
    kcole4001 and hrodbert696 like this.
  18. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    I better plan a trip to a Guitar Center next week then and I may still have time to make the 88% for this year. I will have to brush up on some annoyingly sloppy snapping and popping bass solos.
    hrodbert696 likes this.
  19. Plucky The Bassist

    Plucky The Bassist Istanbul...not Constantinople Supporting Member

    Jul 30, 2010
    If only that 12% knew to purchase EVERYTHING that their favorite musician uses...then they'd be just as famous. Sad, really :(
    hrodbert696 and Jah Wobble Fan like this.