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Guitar Player to Marry Drummer for Love, a Green Card, and maybe Rock and Roll...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by RadioactiveGuy4, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. So I joined a blues originals group over the summer. Its not my usual style of music but I wanted to try something different. Anyway to the interesting part...

    The group has been writing music for about the last 5 months and we just sat down and recorded the drums for an EP. I was not expecting this group to do anything serious until the spring because the drummer is from Brazil and she would have to go back to Brazil and get a new visa and then come back to the states. In fact the reason we went ahead and recorded the drum tracks was so that the rest of us could record our parts while she is out of the country.

    Last month the guitar player invited me to his birthday party and while I was there he told me that he and the drummer had started dating and he wanted to make sure that I was OK with that. I said it was fine as long as everything stayed professional on the music side of things.

    Fast forward to the recording session. While we were in between takes I was outside with the guitar player and he told me that he had some great new. He excitedly said that the drummer no longer had to go back to Brazil and get a new visa. At first I didn't think anything of this. The Drummer had recently taken a trip to NYC and the first thought that I had was that she was able to go to the Brazilian Embassy and work out her visa issues without having to go home. Then the other shoe dropped...

    The guitar player then said that he had even more great news and went on to invite me to his engagement party. That is when everything clicked in my head. I asked him if the reason the drummer didn't have to go back to Brazil was because he was now planning on getting married to her. He said yes and went on to explain that he had spoken with a lawyer and that it "Would be better if [Drummer] did not go back to Brazil until they were married even if it meant her over staying her original visa". He then said that "now we can go and start playing shows even sooner than we originally thought".

    I guess the only thing I can do is quote Chuck Berry.

    "C'est La Vie said the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell"
  2. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Well, congratulations to them!
  3. 2saddleslab

    2saddleslab Supporting Member

    May 30, 2003
    Our drummer married a woman from Japan. We worried it might have been too convenient for her situation but they've since had twins and that was 11 years ago. Happily ever after.
  4. redwingxix


    Oct 21, 2015
    She must be a really great drummer if he is willing to marry her to keep her around to play.

    The bad news is now lawyers will have to get involved when it's time to fire the drummer.
  5. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    can't account for taste...but a drummer? :laugh:

    OP: wish them well! there's nothing else to do, right? ;)
  6. I really hope it all works out for them but I can't help thinking that its all going to go down in flames.
    EddiePlaysBass likes this.
  7. BucketOfFish


    Mar 17, 2014
    I think she gets much more than a "green card". She may get full citizenship, although there could be time restrictions, i.e. meaning that the marriage may have to last a minimum amount of time to cinch the deal
  8. ghostinthemach


    Apr 3, 2011
    Brea CA
    I have always had a desire to be in a band with my significant other (now my wife). It’s only occurred for a very short period of time. Long story short she’s much too ill now. Loved it while it happened.
  9. bearfoot

    bearfoot Inactive

    Jan 27, 2005
    Chittenango, NY
    How long have they known each other?
    If its only been a short time, highest probability is that she is using him. Overwhelmingly likely. This will crash and burn and destroy the band with it.

    You should start another project that has nothing to do with either one of them now.
  10. blue4


    Feb 3, 2013
    St. Louis area
    Don't worry about until it becomes a problem. It may just work, and if it doesn't then cross that bridge at that time.
    EddiePlaysBass and jackn1202 like this.
  11. jackn1202


    Feb 14, 2018
    Austin, TX
    I'd say it's a little early to be predicting hellfire and brimstone, so far things are only getting better for the band because of this. Y'all get to start gigging sooner, they probably won't want to be jerks in front of the other (for now), and she doesn't have to go home. I would also say be prepared to bolt if the time comes.
  12. This thread needs annual updates.
  13. I'm no stranger to marriages of convenience. Many do last, however.
  14. catcauphonic

    catcauphonic High Freak of the Low Frequencies Supporting Member

    Mar 30, 2012
    Seattle WA
    Our drummer married a gal from Japan near 30 years ago (although under completely different circumstances... they were college sweethearts when he was going to school there.) She's a real sweetie :)

    Cross that bridge when (and IF) it crumbles. Until then, be happy for them and enjoy the ride :thumbsup:
    Jimmy4string and JRA like this.
  15. They have known each other for about 6 months and have been officially dating for 3 months. "Using him" seems like strong way of putting it but that might be right. To be honest I think it was his idea. She was already prepared to go back to Brazil to get another visa. In the end I don't know what is going on behind the scenes as I'm only around them at practice so its all speculation.

    I am already looking for another project just to be safe.

    That is my plan. As long as they keep in professional I'm on board. If that stops then I'm gone.

    I'm on it.

    The most recent update is that I have learned that the are going to drive from New Orleans to Las Vegas and get married on the 22nd of this month. Then drive to Bakersfield CA for some reason...

    We did play a test show last night and that went really well. It was just 4 songs at an open mic night but once we were done playing the owner of the place came up to me and said that he loved what we played and wants to book us for a whole night as soon as we are ready.

    So we got that going for us.
  16. Kukulkan61

    Kukulkan61 Supporting Member

    Feb 8, 2011
    Northern Arizona
    That's the furthest thing from my mind, you know, being musicians and all.:woot::smug::woot:
    Just kidding love my Lady!
    ghostinthemach likes this.
  17. Jhengsman


    Oct 17, 2007
    Los Angeles, CA
    I'm not an immigration attorney but I'll play one on TV. The citizenship process is separate from the permanent residence or "green card" and even with getting the green card there are ways around a marriage failing or being deemed fraudulent by the US. The clock starts ticking with the granting of permanent residence and then you can apply for citizenship.

    The pros, if granted citizenship are being shielded from deportation from minor crimes, voting and jury duty (if you call it a privilege) getting security clearances so certain jobs like Federal Law Enforcement Agent open up to you.

    The cons in this context is the newly naturalized citizen can then petition the government for extended family to join him. But you can be talking 10 years waiting, depending upon the home/birth nation after 5 years to get citizenship for that to happen.
  18. Bent77

    Bent77 Supporting Member

    Mar 6, 2013
    Or “burn that bridge when we get to it”

    blue4 likes this.
  19. btmpancake

    btmpancake Gold Supporting Member

    Aug 5, 2015
    Apollo beach, Florida
    Is she hot? You just know somebody had to ask.
    EddiePlaysBass likes this.

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