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Guitarist freaks and no-shows for a benefit in a church

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by 0utlier, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. 0utlier


    Feb 21, 2006
    Hattiesburg, MS
    We had a benefit gig at a church on the calendar for over a month. When I say church I mean a movie theater in the mall converted into a church. It's a progressive church whose mission is to reach young people. I show up and am told the lead guitarist isn't coming. Just some history, many times he shows up minutes before we go on stage and sometimes simply decides not to appear when we have acoustic shows. I am told he found out the previous night it was at a "church" and he balked. Everyone else knew it was at a church... anyway.

    I text him that I'm disappointed he didn't show. He then goes off the rails about how he has morals and how we aren't a Christian band and shouldn't be playing at a church. Something about testing God??? We're a secular rock band, but no devil worship or questionable material. My kids come see us whenever we play kid-friendly venues if that gives you any idea.

    This comes from a guy who lives with his girlfriend, has a baby with her out of wedlock, goes to the casinos and gambles every time we play on the coast, drinks like a fish, and cusses like a sailor.

    He is po'ed because he thinks I was questioning his faith and belief in God. When he said that I was totally floored. The way he indulges himself I'm afraid playing rock music in a church is probably the least of his worries with God.

    Is this crazy or what? I'm not particularly religious and see nothing wrong with playing in their church. We were invited to play so they didn't see anything wrong with it either. What an unbelievable hypocrite. Completely self-indulgent, while professing a belief and fear of the King James version of God. In my mind you can't have it both ways if you're a true believer.

    Anyway, I think the band is now lead guitar-less. He is so PO'ed he doesn't even want to be around me. Unbelievable. Just thought I'd share.
  2. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    He should have said that from the Get-Go.!
  3. I think there's more going on in his no-show than just that. IMO, if he's like that then I wouldn't be able to play with him. If you like him, however, get a back up lead player and let him know that it's OK to stay home. You've got him covered, maybe for good.
  4. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    More here than meets the eye, and more drama than I care for in my bands.
    YMMV, but that's how I see it.
  5. kb9wyz


    Sep 8, 2008
    Kinda weak, man. I agree that he needs to check himself. Both as a person and as a musician. But that is only from my limited view.
  6. gumtown


    May 7, 2007
    New Zealand
    How about getting the gui**** to organise a gig, then the rest of the band don't turn up for a lesson.
    There is no excuse to not wanting to show up (especially at the last minute), he's let down everyone at the show, and totally crapped on you guys in the band.
  7. snyderz


    Aug 20, 2000
    AZ mountains
    A last minute no-show is unacceptable. Unless it's a car wreck or something, but a moral dilemma? Give me a break. And give him the boot.
  8. Unbelievable is right, he shouldn't have been in the band long enough to not want to be around you... Should have already been gone if he's got a habit of not showing up.

  9. Gopherbassist


    Jan 19, 2008
    Well then you're wrong. Just because God can forgive you for everything doesn't mean you should make him.
  10. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
  11. Maybe he freaked out when you said it was a PROGRESSIVE church and he's one of those dudes who listen to Rush Limbaugh in their pickup truck.

    Just saying.
  12. 60's Bluesman

    60's Bluesman

    Feb 7, 2010
    so did the show go on w.o him or did the rest of you walk off too?
  13. Hey... I listen to Rush in my pickup! ;)
  14. gumtown


    May 7, 2007
    New Zealand
    or he thought you said it was AGRESSIVE church.:cool:
  15. Oren Hudson

    Oren Hudson

    Dec 25, 2007
    Gastonia, NC
    Dude be gone! :mad:
  16. jaywa


    May 5, 2008
    Iowa City, IA
    Benefit Gigs - Just Say No.
  17. edpal

    edpal Inactive

    Oct 3, 2007
    To the curb with him - not because he isn''t down with the church gigs, but because he bailed on the band for a really weak reason, and he has stood you up before. Someone else said it above, "better be a car accident or something" - AMEN!

    I'm thinking a secular musician playing in[any] church should not be a problem; whereas, a "Praise & Worship" musician may be at moral odds playing at totally secular gigs. But not necessarily - shephards have to be willing to smell like sheep once in a while. God's grace washs all clean! Maybe the dude is wrestling with how he is living and thinks God is going to hit him with a lightening bolt for showing up in HIS house - that's not how God works, that is how the WORLD works. :(
  18. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    There are a couple of issues here:

    (1) Your lead guitarist doesn't show up when he doesn't feel like showing up. Unacceptable. I would not stay in a band with a guy like that. Either he leaves the band or I do. All that crap about how he chooses to live his life is irrelevant. A gig is a gig - if you accept it, you play it.

    (2) Why didn't he know the particulars of the gig - it was at a church - until the night before? Did you know about the particulars of this gig earlier? Did you tell the lead guitarist? Don't you guys communicate? Don't you talk about upcoming gig opportunities and decide as a band whether or not to accept them? I would not stay in a band that communicates this poorly. Your band is dysfunctional, and you share equal responsibility for this situation.

    P.S. If you run into Brett Favre on the street, please tell him to play for the Vikings again this coming season!
  19. RobertPaulson


    Dec 11, 2008
    Des Moines
    I would absolutely refuse to play at a church, however you would know about it well beforehand.
  20. Sounds like he is feeling guilty for his sins and cant face up to them.
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