Guitarist who's impossible. Need to vent!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by skunky33, Sep 4, 2013.

  1. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
    I don't wanna be too specific about my band and what we do. If this gets back to him he'll have a total fit.

    This is supposed to be a democratic group. All of us pitch in with song writing and decisions. Our guitarist is so sensitive and takes so many personal liberties it's ridiculous. We'll be writing a song and he'll already have 2 mini solos and 1 main solo figured out. Even though we're not even done writing the song. Maybe we want a keyboard melody in there, but by the time the song gets finished he's taken all the space. But if you try to talk to him about it he gets offended like nobody has the right to even question his musicality or judgment, he thinks we're saying "your part isn't good enough". I hated one of his guitar parts he was bending these notes and they sounded like crap, like a dying cat or something. It made a warbling out of tune sound. I said why don't you just pick out the chord, he got offended and kept playing it even after the entire band basically agreed "his part sucks" I told him "that line doesn't sound good" When I had to text someone on my other band members phone I saw that the night I made the comment, he said "I don't think #### is working out" He wanted to kick me out of the band for saying what everyone asked me to tell him...F'n A-hole

    Everyone in the band has to walk on eggshells. We can't say what we feel, I'm the only one who speaks up and most of the time it's the rest of the band that feels this way they just don't want to deal with his wrath. So I say something since I've known him the longest. I've said things like "every song doesn't need a guitar solo" in which all of us agreed, he got offended. It's like dealing with a big baby. We're all older and have been around the block, amazingly he's the oldest. He demands things from us he doesn't do himself, critiques the bands and everyone's sound but if we say anything at all that remotely questions or differs from his opinion he gets pissed.

    He's always screwing around with more and busier guitar parts that don't match up with the bass line or walk I had in the space, so I have to dumb everything I do down to accommodate his busy **** that constantly changes because he gets bored. It gets me so frustrated and angry arhhg!

    I stated something about liking his old sound and missing that tone? He flew off the handle saying that he hates Thunderbirds and thinks they're for hair metal bands and I have no business questioning his sound, and I should just worry about my bass, and than says we're all lazy and he quits. Of course, he was playing possum never intended on quitting. I'm the one who has to apologize for stating a mild opinion.

    Since we're signed now and have a record coming out and are headlining bigger stuff. The band kind of feels like we're his back up band and he's trying to get on the cover of Guitar Player or some ****. It's snowballed into a nightmare....OMG
  2. topo morto

    topo morto

    Mar 22, 2010
    Do you ever say anything nice to him about any of his parts, or just spend all the time telling him he sucks?
  3. You sound like you're 16 and the gui**** is 18?
  4. Lobomov


    Aug 2, 2013
    Ha ha .. but yes.

    But ok, if this is to be taken seriously then

    1. Does the band agree with you?

    Have you talked to him band vs. guitarist?

    Is he still immune to reason once the entire band is against him?

    Is yes yes and yes, then next time he quit and if he truly isn't that good and what is making your band something special, why don't you start auditioning for a new guitarist. Guitar players are not on back order last time I checked :)

    Also .. I'm mainly a gui**** myself .. tone is not in a thunderbird .. there is a difference between something like a fender with single coils and a gibson with humbuckers, but all in all .. whether I play a thunderbird, SG, LP or whatever doesn't really affect my tone the slightest, so given the line of reasoning you mention, I get the feeling that he is young and not particulary good/experienced.
  5. Octaves


    Jun 22, 2012
    You need someone more mature to work with. Simple :)
  6. pklima


    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    You're signed and headlining bigger stuff, isn't there some kind of label management person that should tell this guy that:

    1. the singer is more important
    2. he's in the singer's backing band (well, unless he is the singer, in which case you ARE in his backing band)
    3. it's 2013 and guitar solos don't exist anymore
    4. he doesn't have access to a time machine
    5. he should lose some weight

    Seriously, maybe some kind of label person or outside management would have better luck here than you. Is this band making enough money that other people have a real incentive to make sure the album sells and the whole thing doesn't fall apart?
  7. Bummer. :(

    FWIW: I’d just stop playing whenever he does that $#!^, and screw his feelings - when he hogs up the tunes or sucks, tell him it sucks. BTW, if what you say is true - you're just sitting on a time bomb waiting to blow up . . . . . anyway, good luck.

  8. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    Here's your three step TB solution:
    1. Leave
    2. Get a P bass with tort
    3. Start a new band
  9. kick his ass out.
  10. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    There are four options for this type of situation:

    (1) Have an honest discussion with everyone in the band, air grievances, arrive at consensus, everyone changes the way they are doing things (some more than others).

    (2) Fire him. Find a replacement for him. The band goes on (maybe) without him.

    (3) Quit. The band goes on (maybe) without you.

    (4) Keep going on the way things are now. Quit complaining.

    It sounds like you have tried option (1) without much success. If the people in the band are not mature enough to do option (1), that leaves you with options (2), (3) and (4).

    Option (4) is usually temporary; you will eventually need to decide between option (2) and option (3).

    If your bandmates won't go along with option (2), that leaves you with option (3).
  11. Save yourself a lot of time, energy and frustration and get rid of him now. If you're signed, you won't have any trouble finding a qualified replacement.
  12. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Maybe ask someone from the label come and straighten things out, the guitarist doesn't even have to know you requested it if you don't feel like telling him. An outside person, and someone that pays the bills no less, is maybe easier to take critique from? If you're lucky ;) maybe this pi$$es the guy off and he leaves of his on accord.:ninja:
  13. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
  14. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
  15. BawanaRik


    Mar 6, 2012
    New Jersey
    This is good advice. You, the OP, are in a dream situation for msot players. It sounds like you're doing originals, you growing a fan base, have contracts and are about to tour. And you're still young enough to pull this off.

    I have no doubt there are 100 guitarists in your area that can walk in and cover the guitar chair.

    First you guys should talk to him square face to face. If that isn't working see if your manager, you do have a manager right, talk to this guy.
  16. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
    Thank You for your input....option 4. I know it's not the best, but we want to tour with the new album and his guitar parts are so complex it would be almost impossible for someone to learn them. We want to have the same sound as the Album, at least for this stint.
  17. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
    No manager, just a booking agent. It's an indie label which is basically has connections and we use it like a credit card.
  18. Lobomov


    Aug 2, 2013
    So all in all, now that you have vented, you're pretty satisfied with your band situation?
  19. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
    Everyone compliments the sound of the T-bird. He just hates the look. I have many basses including 2 P-basses one I use one as back-up everyone likes the T-bird tone better for this. He's one of the area's best known guitarists. He's been playing for 35 years and is really good. We're all experienced. One member is flown out to LA to do studio work a couple times a year. I've been playing for 25 years. He does have the band mentality of a young kid though. Band vs. guitarist... he thinks I started the coup against him. It's not even that his parts are bad, they're very good. It's that he takes up too much sonic room. The problem is our lives are intertwined in complicated ways. I don't want to give too much info which I've probably already done. Every gigging band in the area knows us because we play out so much. Just by the info givin a bunch of people would know who we are and who/what I'm talking about.
  20. skunky33


    Dec 26, 2012
    Yes, completely. ..JK No, not really, the band is what it is and I'm just going to carry on with it. It's just frustrating.