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Handel Masterpiece Gets 'Explicit' Label

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by mark beem, Sep 19, 2003.


  1. mark beem

    mark beem Gold Supporting Member

    Jul 20, 2001
    New Hope, Alabama
    And I found out why!!

    Here's the REAL Slim Handel!!

    A little-known Georg Freidric Handel masterpiece, once thought lost, is the reason for the "Explicit" label. Here's a little bit of the transcription:

    May I have your attention please?
    May I have your attention please?
    Will the real Slim Handel please stand up?
    I repeat, will the real Slim Handel please stand up?
    We're gonna have a problem here

    Y'all act like ya never seen a composer before
    Jaws all on the floor like Bach, like Beethoven burst in the door
    And started writin' etudes worse than before
    My first tour de force, gettin' outta Hanover (Ahh!)
    It's the return of the...
    Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
    He just didn't say what I think he did, did he?
    And Ludwig said...
    Nothing you idiots! Ludwig's dead, he's locked in my double-bass!
    (Ha - ha!)
    Atonal women love Phillip Glass
    Slim Handel, I'm sick of him
    Look at him, walking around hummin his mes-si-ah
    Whistling Mac-ca-bae-us, yeah, he's such a li-ah
    Yeah, I probably got a coda or two up where they won't do
    But no worse than what's going on in your Mom's libretto
    Sometimes, I wanna get half-toned and just let loose, but can't
    But it's cool for Zappa to play with his ass
    My bum is on your keys, my bum is on your keys
    And if I'm lucky, you might just give it glissendo
    And that's the message that we deliver in crescendo
    And expect them not to know what an arpeggio is
    Of course they gonna know what arpeggio is
    By the time they hit fourth grade
    They got music appreciation don't they?
    We ain't nothing but classics
    Well, some of us Jurassics
    Who cull other people's music like Memorex
    But if we can sample Beethoven to Biederbeck
    Then there's no reason not to download Great White (that dreck)
    But if you write like I write, get labeled "Explicit"
    Lawyers wave your copy-right, sing the chorus, voices tight

    I'm Slim Handel, yes I'm the real Handel
    All you other Slim Handels can't hold a candle.
    So won't the real Slim Handle please stand up?
    Please stand up, please stand up

    Cuz I'm Slim Handel, yes I'm the real Handle
    All you other Slim Handels can't hold a candle.
    So won't the real Slim Handle please stand up?
    Please stand up, please stand up

    (For the record, I didnt write this. I saw it online and almost pee'd my pants after reading it.)
     
  2. BigBohn

    BigBohn

    Sep 29, 2001
    WPB, Florida
    Oh my, quite provocative. That's funny.
     
  3. That's great. :D