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Harry Potter has tricked us all!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Mike Money, Aug 19, 2003.


  1. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book

    Let's see the results...

    "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
    "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

    A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

    "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
    "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

    Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

    "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

    The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

    He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

    He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.


    I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all:

    "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

    Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

    'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

    What more proof do you need? Harry Potter is porno...esque!
     
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?
     
  3. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I find your lack of faith disturbing.
     
  4. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    Don't make me destroy you.
     
  5. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I see that your schwartz is as big as mine. It is obvious that this battle will not be decided by our Jedi powers, but by our skills with a lightsaber.

    (Oh ya, combining 2 movies.)
     
  6. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    And you botched the quote...

    "it is obvious this battle cannot be decided by our knowledge of the force alone, but, by our skills with a lightsaber"

    I've had just about enough of you....you nearsighted scrap-pile.
     
  7. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Your bantha fodder.
     
  8. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    Fixed.
     
  9. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002

    :spit: Chewie, take the professor into the back and plug him into the hyperdrive
     
  10. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan

    You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor.
     
  11. that was funny..I'll admit that,.
     
  12. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    Holding her is dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the Rebellion in the senate.
     
  13. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002

    Don't act so surprised your highness, You weren't on any mercy mission this time.
     
  14. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member




    Oh! Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior. After all, I'm only trying to do my job in the most...
     
  15. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan...

    (somehow this got all out of order;))
     
  16. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    you can waste time with your friends as soon as your chores are done.
     
  17. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    Look who's talking. Now that you've been around those giant starships you're beginning to sound like my uncle. You've gotten soft in the city..
     
  18. stuie86

    stuie86

    May 9, 2003
    mckinney, tx
    .....:smug: silly boys playing with there lightsabers
     
  19. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Staff Member Supporting Member

    You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now come on, get to it!
     
  20. stuie86

    stuie86

    May 9, 2003
    mckinney, tx
    ......yes sir!