Having a lot of trouble finding/starting a band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Byron92, May 18, 2012.

  1. Byron92


    Aug 21, 2011
    I have almost reached the point of just calling it quits, my whole family doesn't support my carreer taking decision, most of my friends don't really care for it/aren't into any type of rock music, music scene in my city is pretty much dead with the exception of deaath metal elitists... ugh.. Seems like no one else has the vision I have in my mind.. Maybe I need to move out, I've tried out the ads, bulletins in the back room of guitar shops, no luck... I even asked God to just show me if this is what really is for me, I love music, I'm not even about to spend 2 hours here discussing my passion, but I guess it's about who you know then what you know....
  2. PlungerModerno


    Apr 12, 2012
    I don't know what stage in your life you are at, and I can see this is a serious decision for you.

    I'm not at your stage yet, and I hope some of the people on this forum that have gone through similar difficult times will chime in in a while.

    You need to follow your passion for your own fulfillment, not for the approval of your family. Respect your own choices but review them as circumstances develop. This leads me to my next major point...
    Do what you can. I don't know a lot about forming a band / joining one because I'm a noob that hasn't done it yet. But lots of people here have been or are members of several groups as a semi pro or pro in various genres... so maybe get into metal, or move, or try performing solo with synth / guitar or bass laden with effects.
    It can be hard or next to impossible to break even, let alone earn a decent living in music. If it's your passion fight hard for it. You can keep it as a major hobby for the time being, or use it simply as a way to make friends in a new place if you move.

    You shouldn't "pack it in" just revise your expectations and goals... short, long and medium term. You never know how far away success is. Hope for the best but plan for less than immediate results. I hope I've encouraged you.

    Try to have fun and chin up. It's only music but if you love it it can be the best.:bassist:

    P.S. I'm not going to start a debate about the faith thing (I'm expressly prohibited in the rules XD)... but I've heard the phrase "God loves a trier".

    I'm not sure it's something to live your life by but I guess what I'm saying is don't wait for a sign. look at the pros and cons of moving and go for it if it seems the best choice.
  3. There's a saying..... If you want something bad enough you'll get it. If you dont get it, it's because you didn't want it bad enough.
    Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but that is the nuts and bolts of it.
    Your city/town has no music scene? Move to one that does.
    No-one supports you? Do it on your own.
    Most of the gigs I have had over many years have come from net-working, talking to musos, hanging at jam nights, open mic nights etc, not from ads in music shops.
    OK... example. I played in a couple of bands many years ago with a very talented and ambitious young muso. He realised he wasn't going to get far by staying in New Zealand, so he packed up all his gear, left his family, girlfriend etc and moved to Chicago. Got furiously networking, and before long ended up in a somewhat well-known blues band touring the world. Saw Europe, Japan, South America, Canada and every corner of the USA.
    Another example. Back in the late 60s, early 70s I had a friend who also decided NZ was not the place to be. Moved to London England, scuffed around a bit and ended up in one of the worlds best heavy bands of the time, with all the fame/noteriety etc that goes with it.
    Moral of the story.... Reading ads in music shops and hanging around in unproductive situations aint gonna get you diddley squat!
  4. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member

    How old are you and how long have you been at it? Is the "family" you're referring to your wife and kids or your parents? What kind of music career are you envisioning? A successful originals band is a shot at the moon, cover bands are usually side-jobs for people who do something else to pay the bills.

    But assuming you're young and single, the other posts have been right on - if there's no music scene where you are, move where there is one. Play every style of music you can with any musicians you can. So what if it's death metal? You're working and you're making contacts. If you're any good, word gets around and you build credibility, and eventually you find the right people for your dream project.

    You may be right that it's "who you know rather than what you know," but don't let that turn into an excuse. It just means that you need to get your @$$ out there and meet people.
  5. brorbjoern


    Jan 4, 2012
    I think maybe start with just wacking of ideas of other (capable) musicians, might be a start. Start off by doing what you can find people to do, that'll develop you, and get you into contact with more people, that way you might end up knowing the right people for progressing on into what you REALLY wanted to do. I think this might be especially important for us low-noters, seeing as we generally don't get a lot space, unless people really know that it's from YOU the creativity comes, and the ideas flow. You need some respect and space to show your ideas, that's how you get people to help you create what you want to.

    I play in a prog metal band. If I want orchestral percussion pieces, or instrumental pieces with the fretless bass carrying the melody... I get it :) because the other guys know that they'll be capable of weaving themselves into my ideas in a way that'll make sense. They simply trust me to bring all of them together in a good piece of music :)
  6. lmfreeman9

    lmfreeman9 Supporting Member

    Sep 1, 2007
    Friends and family aren't supportive?

    Find new friends that are into music and start your own family.
    I am not being facetious and don't know your age or locale but eventually you have to
    make your own way as an adult and leaving your family and city of origin can have many benefits.
  7. PlungerModerno


    Apr 12, 2012
    You're right about the making your own way as an adult. I never had a clear plan . . . before bass. I now accept the rest of my life will be in some way in service of the instrument:bassist: and the groove.

    Anyway the OP is 19. (got that from the profile).
    19 is young for some, but depending on your experience you might be ready to build yourself a new life by then. I can't help but sympathize when the OP has little support, but sometimes that's what toughens the artist enough to persevere. For better or worse.

    I want to see the OP supported in his efforts here, and ideally at home, and find a perfect band etc. But It's not enough to wish it into existence or wait. I guess we all have to make difficult choices, some get it early on... I went to University at 19. It was very good for my social skills but I wasn't a bassist then so I got squat out of it:meh:.

    Still got some qualifications. The OP should look into education / career type choices as well as musical ones.

    Keep the day job till the night job pays etc...:bassist:
  8. If you are indeed that young, it might be time to consider spreading your wings and moving to a different area. It's a lot easier to do that at 19 than 29 or 39.
  9. pklima

    pklima Commercial User

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Karoryfer Samples
    I don't believe that. Death metal is an extremely unpopular niche genre. There is no way that the entire music scene in your city is into that. Look harder. I'm sure there are people who want to rap, dubstep DJs, and whatever else you want.
  10. BassBrass


    Jul 6, 2009
    Boston MA
    Yeah, but don't come to Boston! We have 35,494 musicians (of ALL kinds) 9,949 bands (down from over 10k in the 90s) and just 34 venues (98 if you count college related performances). We also only have about 14 practice complexes each with over 40 bands. So just stay away. I hear good things about Athens GA.

    * Really, when I read posts like this I think, "where the heck Is this?" It's like 180 degrees the opposite of what happens here. When your "family" is 4 musicians and a techie (somebody has to make a living) living in the same house, lack of support is highly unlikely. And for a 19yo, it's a carnival.

    (actually most of the numbers above are not 100% accurate. There are, as of writing this, 35,495 musicians because some guy who moved to Austin couldn't take it and drove back)
  11. I think first things first. Do you have enough to:
    a) Travel to where the music scene is healthier -> guts, commitment, car/gas
    b) Live there while trying to make something for yourself -> qualifications for a job of some kind to finance you
    c) Play music where you're going -> gear
    d) Network -> Confidence, social skills

    Then comes the talent and ability to play.

    Do you know what you want to do? What would you consider "success" and what would you consider "failure - time to go home". If your parents are not supportive of it, then do a deal with them. Borrow x amount of money, tell them that you're going to go out and do your damnedest to become successful. After x amount of time, if you have not hit the milestones that you think mark moving in the right direction, that you will come back and "take the alternative" route (whatever that is), while pursuing music as a hobby. If by "family" you mean wife and children (at 19 I hope not), then I think (personally) that their well being comes first and you should do everything in your power to support them.

    I think there are still "miracles" that happen in the music scene where a total nobody "suddenly" gets the gig of a lifetime, and gets the bucks that go with it (thinking Journey), but that's the exception. The norm is that pros work their butts off in every possible way to get gigs, network, work work work.

    Considering your age, I would think you are the perfect age to travel, broaden your experience, and possible get that gig. Important thing is to stay focused and be responsible.

    Good luck with your decision making.
  12. throughthefire


    Oct 1, 2010
    Reality check time.

    From your post, you sound like you *want* it. But it doesn't sound like you *need* it. At what point have you ever said "I'm the best. I can do this". What have you DONE that gives you the confidence to know that you can make it? Are you a musician, or a GC player? How many bands have you played with? How many gigs have you played?

    Your post is, basically, full of the usual excuses.

    Family doesn't support me.... Have you asked them *why*? Is it because they think you're not good enough? Do they think you will be more successful doing something else? Do they want you to get a few qualifications first? You're 19; you're talking about the future - great - but, what have you done in the past? Are you at college, thinking of throwing it in, or have you sat on the sofa since leaving school?

    My friends don't care for it.... So what? It's your life, not theirs. Don't define and restrict yourself by what friends say - they come and go. When you get to (insert age here) years old, very few of your *real* friends have been around since childhood.

    Music scene in my city is dead.... so find another city. Although it's hard to believe that the music scene is *completely* dead. There's always someone, somewhere, looking for a bass player to gig with. You just have to look harder; theatres, jam nights, etc.; although at 19 you're too young to play in bars, so that's a limiting factor at the moment for you and anyone who's thinking of hiring you. Find out where the music is happening, and go there.

    No-one else has the same vision as me.... So start your own thing. Get your OWN adverts up. Perhaps put your vision on hold for a short while, and instead concentrate on networking and playing.

    Maybe I need to move out.... So move out. But don't think that it will be a lot easier somewhere else. There may be more musicians, but why should they open their networks to a stranger from out of town? If you can't find the music in your city, how are you going to find it somewhere else? Especially when you need somewhere to live, a job, transport; the Bank of Mom and Dad doesn't have too many branches open.

    I've tried the Ads... Bulletins.. asked God... Have you asked the musicians that you know? Where do they find band members? (don't know any band members? Well, find out where you can find some, and go and meet them - if nowhere else, look on stage on Sundays; Church bands often have surprisingly well connected musicians up there). Yes - it *is* about who you know. Life's like that - it's often unfair, and unlike school, no-one gives out extra credit because they see that you really tried.

    I love music.... So what. There's money, musicians, and the music business. You can generally pick any two.

    Now to the positive part of this note. If you're really destined to be a musician, you'll look at my negative points above, drop an F-bomb or two at this ignorant scouser, and go and become a musician anyway. That will show that you have the nerve, the willpower (and probably a bit of ignorance) that are essential to becoming successful.

    But make sure you stock up on Ramen Noodle before doing anything! :D

    Good luck!

  13. otherclef


    Aug 10, 2011
    Don't let your own mind crush you...
    Or as the Eagles put it.. " dont let the sound of your wheels drive you crazy"..
    The mere fact that you exist means you belong and the universe love you!!
  14. I guess he's too musically inclined to spend another 2 minutes here
  15. DaDrew2112


    Apr 7, 2011
    the responses here are helpful. Time for me to go practice for many, many more months haha
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