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Hello you have reached the Faceless Mega comany and we don't want to talk to you

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Mar 6, 2014.

  1. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Just returned two calls and got something like this. At least that is how I interpreted it.

    Hello you have reached the Faceless Mega comany and we don't want to talk to you. If you get frustrated and press 0 this recording will start again and you will get more frustated.

    If you want to talk to someone in billing and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 1

    If you want to talk to someone in accounts payable and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 2

    If you want to talk to go to a queue for twenty minutes and then talk to some poor underpaid schmoe at an unkown location who probably can't help you. press 3

    If you want to talk to a supervisor who will shuffle you off to someone else asap press 4

    If you want to talk to yell and scream about our useless phone tree press 5

    If you want to talk to someone in customer service and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 6

    If you want to talk to someone in human resources and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 7

    If you want to talk to someone in the long tedious forms department and leave a message for someone who doesn't want to talk to you and may not call you back press 8

    If you are still niave enought to think that anyone gives a bologna sandwich about you press 9 and this greeting will start over again

    My advise is you just hang up now becuase no one here wants
    to talk to you.

    rant over
  2. will33


    May 22, 2006
    "To end this call, press 9, or just hang up".
  3. You're a comcast customer too?
  4. nukes_da_bass

    nukes_da_bass Banned

    Feb 19, 2006
    west suburban boston
    "I'm sorry, I don't recognize your entry/ you have made an invalid entry. Good bye!"
  5. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Vent on brothers, vent on. :p
  6. DerHoggz

    DerHoggz I like cats :| Banned

    Feb 13, 2009
    Western Pennsylvania
    The ones that want voice entry are the worst.
  7. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    customer service

    Did you say spelunking?

    no I said customer service

    did you say turtles?

    NO, Customer Service !

    Did you say Albanian nightclubs?


    I'm sorry I am having a hard time understanding you, please call back later. (dial tone)
  8. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    I've found that if this crap happens, just pick the money oriented option. If you're phoning to complain, don't press "5" to complain, press "2" to settle your bill. You get the same person anyway, you just move yourself up the list.

    If you have a complaint about a company whom you are paying on a regular basis, the best way to get in contact is to just stop paying. They'll be in touch very soon.
  9. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    I just start pressing zero until I hear that familiar Indian voice asking how my day is getting along.

  10. I once sent an email to a Clearchannel affiliate radio station here in Portland. It's a political talk radio station and they added a new (to them) program syndicated out of Texas, and I was more than a little appalled at how hateful and blatantly racist the host was being.

    As soon as I hit "submit", the screen went dark. No "thank you for your comment", no "your comment was successfully submitted", nothing. I never heard back. I'm sure hitting "submit" just sent my comment to a waste basket.

    I hate Clearchannel. They are too big.

    And I also heard that Comcast is trying to merge with Time Warner Cable. Great. That's what we need. Another monopoly attempting to control the content of what we can access and charging up the hoohah because of no competition.:spit::spit::spit::spit:

  11. I ain't done yet:spit::spit:

  12. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Very true, I also dial the toll free number so the company you are calling has to pay for those calls. Sometimes they pay more attention to those calls.
    I have also been a supervisor in a comany like that. By the time people got to me they were really pissed (okay not drunk for my brothers accross the pond) that means angry here in the colonies. My record day was 86 voice mails in one day, that was before too many people used email. I know about being a poor overworked schmoe.
    The company I worked for at the time gave lip service to customer service but as soon as profits went down a little we had a big lay off and things got worse. God forbid the stockholders don't get their pay out and the CEO doesn't get his four million dollar bonus.
    I know, I know that was one company and there are some good comanies in this world as well.
  13. bassinplace


    Dec 1, 2008
    F the media! Play your bass! :cool: :bassist:
  14. Gaolee

    Gaolee It's all about the polyester

    It is even better when Faceless MegaCompany, Inc. calls you in the middle of supper with a recorded message that's so important that they can interrupt whatever it is you are doing. It's not important enough for them to have an actual person talking to you. If I ever figure out who sends out robocalls, I'll be sending them a bill.
  15. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    I recently disconnected AT&T completely from my home. For my ISP I went to a small local provider that works great via an atenna on my roof. For my phone I went for a free service called OOMA. I pay about seven bucks a month for taxes on OOMA and $35 a month to my ISP Monkey Brains. There are up front costs for both of them but I will soon get that back via lower monthly bills.
    Goodbye sucky u-verse. :spit:
    I haven't had cable since my free trial offer with Comcast expired. Don't watch much TV anyway. I have a small antenna called a Leaf that works great for broadcast stations.
  16. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I have gotten into the habit of mashing the zero button until I have relieved stress or been put in contact with a human. **** phone trees.
  17. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Only two strings away from an attitude problem.

    I endure the phone tree time sink for all of two minutes. If I get a human on the phone in that time, the first question I ask is, "Please tell me why speak to a human is not an option?"

    If I get the, "May I transfer you to X," question, my response is, "You may transfer me once, but it needs to be to the person you consider to be a deity who actually has the authority to make things happen or I will stop being pleasant until my stuff is fixed."

    For the auto dialers...I respond with randomness. Last month it was, "It's done, but there's blood everywhere," in a frantic whisper.
  18. 1958Bassman


    Oct 20, 2007
    And my favorite, "Your call is very important to us....."
  19. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

    Repeated for the 23rd time.