Helping with a "stalker"

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Corbis, Mar 19, 2003.

  1. Corbis

    Corbis Guest

    Feb 19, 2003
    Wamego KS
    Well its sorta funny in a twisted way. (Long Post)

    My band practices at school in the band room so everyday after class gets out we all grab our stuff from our cars and go and play. Well we're setting up and we hear a pounding on the band door (its locked form the inside so no one can get in) its the pep band guitarist we ignore him like we do anyone else but he keeps pounding so we figured he left something and needed to get it, we let him in.

    Big Mistake.

    He has his six string in hand and says can I play with you guys?
    We reply "um."
    Well to late he's already finding outlets and plugging in his effects and amp. Satan's come and he's got an urge to play an assortment of AC/DC tunes with 1000 effects on at once.

    We all look at each other and think "great...."
    After 10 minutes of torture, aka him playing these high pitched solo's only god knows where in his twisted mind came from, we asked him nicely that this was our practice time and if he could leave soon. He either ignored us or was to busy cranking out effects laden garble goo to notice.

    Well another 10 minutes we decided to make him feel stupid and leave so we starting play songs he didn't know (our songs) Well he didn't like that so he played one of the many "songs" he's written. I think my ears starting bleeding :)

    Well a couple minutes later our drummer's getting really mad and when our annoying stalker had stopped playing for a second our drummer yells "JOHNNY YOU SUCK" Frankly we were all surprised since "Johnny" was a senior and twice as big as our drummer. Well "Johnny" just looked at him shook it off and kept playing!

    Well we ignored him, asked him nicely, made him feel stupid and insulted him and it didn't work so we say forget it lets just play. So we start doing "When I come Around" by Green Day and the Annoying Stalker grabs the mic from our singer and does vocals. I was in total disbelief!

    Well we finished the song. One guitarist had to see he's sick grandma. Our vocalist had a headache, our drummer mumbled something about a bridge and I just said my bass was going to overheat (surprised he bought that one) Poor 2nd guitarist wasn't quick enough to make an excuse and had to sit thourgh a Van Halen lesson with god's gift to music himself.

    So with all that said how do we get rid of him? (I say run him over with a truck but I keep hearing about this thing called "laws") This has happened a couple times now not to the extent of the first time but still he won't leave. And he always seems to weasel he's way in. We would find a new place to practice but its ideal we have amps all ready there, an entire drumkit and the way the band and choir directors are talking they might let us use one of their PAs and sometimes good looking upperclass girls come by to hear us heh :) :) If you wondering no we don't let them in either they can hear us through the paper thin walls of our 70 year old school. :)

    This whole exprence has sorta become the band joke now. Its kinda funny as long as your not there living it. :D
  2. Why dontcha let the girls in?
  3. s7on3d


    Jun 26, 2002
    Ra'anana, Israel
    Just put a sign on the with the following written on it:


    I think he'll get the point...

    (edit) I just thought of another idea, go tell a teacher (that likes you) your story, and get them to tell "Johnny" that only the band is allowed in the room durring practice time (then mumble something about the darn insurance premiums).... It may work...
  4. rumblethump

    rumblethump Supporting Member

    Mar 25, 2000
    Pioneer CA. 95666
    I had this problem at a party. Wanking guitarist playing over everybody on every song, missing endings etc., ignoring our complaints. After trying every diplomatic avenue, I pulled out my trusty set of dykes, removed his plug from the wall and cut it off flush from the end. I handed him the plug and $5 and said to him, OOPS. :D
  5. Ben Mishler

    Ben Mishler

    Jan 22, 2003
    San Jose
    Tell him to get lost. It might lead to confrontation, but it will get the job done. If he asks why, you don't need to say he sucks, you could say you need to practice, or are not looking for another guitar player.
  6. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    I was gonna say just go over and unplug his amp or guitar, but this idea is WAAAAY better and much more effective.:eek:

  7. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    Seriously, UNPLUG HIS ****!
  8. Slit his throat and chop him into little pieces,and then hide all his remains in his amp...then sell the amp to Evil,Evil Guitar Center:p

  9. Killdar


    Dec 16, 2002
    Portland Maine
    the machine heads on a bass are larger and substantially more deadly than that of a guitar, so threaten with physical violence if all else fails. Bad idea for the most part, but ya never know, it might work. maybe jostle few brain cells into position at least.

    heh....I think of myself in a diplomatic sense short tempered, so if peaceful negotiation doesnt work first few times, I know what to do ;)

    me and my silly methods.
  10. Zon Bass

    Zon Bass

    Jan 20, 2002
    Dallas, TX
    I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to go with rumblethump on this one.
  11. Corbis

    Corbis Guest

    Feb 19, 2003
    Wamego KS
    I'll try that though the gun might get us into trouble so we'll put something about armed Monkey Ninjas :D

    Thanks for your posts everyone

    Funny thing his amp isn't grounded right so whenever you touch something metal near him and touch his guitar it shocks him........... hehe think of all we could do.
  12. coris. after laughing for 20min after reading your post (which was the funniest thing iv seen all day), i thought of an idea. Take his bass, and smash it. or take some band room drumsticks, and start beating on his bass neck of head, how about his real neck. or have all 5 of your guys surround him, and be like "GET LOST" teehee

    - w00t
  13. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    To avoid getting him too mad you can remove the fuse when he's not looking. Its less obvious, wont cause serious damage and will get the job done.

    If he see's you just stomp the fuse.

  14. Easy solution 'cause I used to practice in the band room after school. Tell the band teacher and have him get rid of the stalker. Remember, the door locks from the inside. You don't have to let him in.
  15. BassAxe


    Jul 22, 2002
    Culpeper, VA
    Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine any kind of musician other than a guitar player acting like this guy.

    Well, maybe someone who thinks they are a "vocalist", but let's just keep this under the category of musicians.
  16. When will guitarists ever learn!!! I would take the easy route and just not let him in. If all else fails, get physical. The band would be able to take the single guitar player, you have the numbers on your side!

  17. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    I've got a similar story. It's finals week in the dorm. These kids won't stop playing their ****ty rap. My current roomate, after practically begging them to turn down, walks in with scissors cuts the chord, then leaves. :D

    He ended up having to pay for the chord, but it was worth it! :D
  18. SlavaF


    Jul 31, 2002
    Edmonton AB
    Any stalker like that ought to have his amp cord cut! Hell, I'd do it!:D

    Genius idea, Rumblethump!:D
  19. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    Sounds to me like he's trying too hard to impress. "Lookat me, I can solo, I've got effects, I can sing.... blah blah......" Trying too hard always has you comming off like a wanker.

    Seriously just leave the door locked and ignor his pounding.
  20. Nails


    Jun 4, 2000
    Austin, Tejas
    Ask yourself one question: do you want this guy as a friend?

    If not, be blunt and tell him to leave you alone. Use language worse than what I can post here though, he doesn't sound like he'd get it any other way. Basically, don't beat around the bush with this guy, and go right to the source - him.

    If you want him as a friend (or non-enemy I guess you could say), tell him you don't mind if he hangs out and doesn't get in the way, but you don't want or need him in the band and he doesn't have a need to have a guitar with him at any time during your practices.