1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

Here's some Superbowl trivia for ya...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by dryheatbob, Feb 5, 2006.

  1. Found this in this mornings paper. Let everybody else yak about meaningless stats. Yards after the catch, redzone effiency, 3rd down conversion percentages- forget that stuff. Here's something we all(in the US, anyway) can relate to On this most Hallowed day in Sports and my unprofessional opinion of what it means:

    *According to the Dallas police Department, crime goes down 18% during the Super Bowl compared to the same time period on Sundays before and after the game.

    -My take: Pay very close attention to anybody at your SB party that you don't know. Perps gotta hang out somewhere.

    *Traffic is down during this same period.

    -My take: That's because the perp's sitting on my couch, spilling guac all over my couch cushions instead being out raising hell like he normally would.

    Which brings up the next stat.

    *Avacado sales are now higher prior to SB Sunday than prior to Cinco de Mayo. 43.8 million pounds of 'em were scarfed up last SB, according to the California Avacado Commision. Tortilla chips sales are also up 25%.

    -My take: No matter what you're celebrating, you can never have too much guac. As far as the chips, I'd rather have the punk perp on my couch scooping dip with that than sticking his nasty fingers in the guac bowl.

    *Pizza takeout business is up 20% on SB Sunday, compared to others. Pepperoni and Italian sausage are the favorite toppings. SB Sunday is the most profitable of the year for pizza drivers.

    -My take: Huh. Must've ran outta dip and chips and the thug on the couch ordered pizza. Probably with my credit card. Meh. What do I care? By the time the pizza's show up, I'll be drunk enough to think I ordered 'em. Besides we're out of dip.

    Side note- A study of what type of person orders what type of pizza found that Type A, aggresive males tend to order meat toppings. Kind of fitting, given the #1 and #2 toppings ordered on SB sunday are peperoni and sausage. I'm not making this up.

    * There is a net loss of 10-15% in the number of shoppers out during the SB. The number of men, obviously, is down while the number of women is up.

    -My take: Would one of you guys have your wife swing by on the way to the mall and pick up my wife? After she's done making the guac, of course, and has gotten my credit card back from the jerk on the couch. Who IS he, anyway?

    *Toilet use does go up during the SB, reports Mark Stanley of the Salt Lake City Department of Public Utilities. During the 1984 SB, a 16 inch water main burst in Salt Lake. During Halftime.

    -My take: Nothing. That's just too funny too add to.

    So tonight if the game turns into a rout and all those stats trully become useless, throw a few of these facts out there. Mebbe it'll shutup that obnoxious knucklehead that keeps getting in your face because it's your team that's getting it's arse handed to it and his that's kicking it.

    Who IS he, anyway?

  2. AFlyOnGeddysWal


    Sep 27, 2004
    :D Too funny.

    There's also the urban legend that domestic violence stats go up on Superbowl Sunday. The thug on the couch might be wearing a wife beater.

  3. Smart money is on my wife.:bag: