Hilarity at work

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Eric Cameron, Sep 22, 2002.

  1. I've got a great story to tell you.:D

    One of the guys at work got fired today. While that isn't very funny, and in fact is pretty damn serious, it's what he did to get fired that's funny.

    He mooned a customer.:D

    No intentionally. He was out front, having a smoke break, and was flirting with our door girl. She is pretty cute, after all. Anyway, mid way through, for some strange reason, his pants drop. She starts laughing.

    Which causes a customers head to turn...

    You can guess the rest. It was hard to do anything the rest of the day, cause any time someone said "but" or "crack" or "expose" we would all bust up laughing. And the jokes that were made, well, they are best not told here.

    Anyone else had a fellow empolyee make a total ass of themselves? And I left that pun in there intentionally.:D

    Rock on
  2. I dry humped a paper plate after a co-worker made a comment when I drew a face on it. That's pretty funny though, I need to remember that pickup line. Blah blah blag *zip drop*
  3. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    I worked night crew in a grocery store for about two years, and one of the oh so elegant habits of two of my co-workers (one of them being the supervisor) was walking into each other's isles and farting on one another. The supervisor loved doing this to me too, just because it was funny and he knew it grossed me out.

    So one lunch break he walks up to me, turns around, fires one off at me, and immediately runs off to the bathroom. About ten minutes later he comes out, tighty whiteys in hand, soaking wet. He had to wash them in the sink. My 42-year old boss had had an accident. He hung them in the cold Jello display to dry. Being a grocery store, people leave all sorts of things on the shelves (half-eaten food, used diapers, bad stuff), I had found an old piece of fried chicken from the deli on a shelf earlier that night and decided to make up for his attack by leaving the said chicken in his drying skivvies. He didn't find it until he came back to put them on a couple of hours later. Ah, I miss those days...
  4. Once while out on a field exercise (GOD! I love being out of the Army now!), we had been up and moving for about 30 hours and had just settled into a patrol base. Things were very lax at this time and for some strange reason I had an intense urge to hump someone's leg. So, idiot that I am, I found the nearest leg and went to work. I looked up to see my platoon leader's face staring down at me. After a couple seconds of furious humping and disbelieving stares he went back to his conversation and completely ignored me. Guess he kinda figured me for the dog in Joe Dirt ("He'll stop humping when he's finished").


    Oh, man! Did I really just post that on the internet?
  5. i put some laxative (?) in a my boss' coffee once :p

    dunno if it's the correct english name for it, but it's the stuff that makes you crap real hard. the package said " 5 drops for a smooth crap ".. i dropped in about a tablespoon.. so you can imagine that during the meeting my boss suddenly stood up and ran to the toilet saying " oooh mmm... ahh mmm.. aiaiaia "

  6. Ívar Þórólfsson

    Ívar Þórólfsson Mmmmmm... Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2001
    Kopavogur, Iceland
    Since you still work there I assume he doesn´t know you did it ;)
  7. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    You earned that village idiot title! ;)
  8. correction, the sickest idiot title..
  9. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I used to work at a warehouse and there were these two crazy guys that worked there with me. They were constantly up to some kind of hijinks. One day I was working at the computer that is in a smaller recessed area of the warehouse and I see one of the guys go running by with the other guy right behind him holding a can of spray paint and trying to paint the first guy. A minute later the guy with the spray paint goes running by first and right behind him is the other guy swinging a sledgehammer. The guy with the spray paint ended up climbing up one of the warehouse shelves to get away and staying there for at least an hour. This place was a nuthouse.

    They both ended up getting fired - one for reading through the stored resumes of people who weren't hired by the company and the other for just being a general dumbass.

    brad cook
  10. :D

  11. Yep, that's the correct english name for it - he must've been real abd for you to resort to chemical warfare;) :D :D
  12. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Midway through what!!! :eek:

    Actually I have lots of funny stories from when I worked part-time at a delicatessen, but most are just silly.

    I can remember one thing that got somebody sacked that was kind of funny - so there was a few friends who I worked with and we used to eat small amounts of the food we liked, surreptitiously when nobody was looking.

    But there were these really stupid girls who worked there in the week (my friends and I only worked there at the weekend) - so in the "changeovers" we used to taunt these girls by saying how nice the cheesecake or whatever was this week.

    They used to look all shocked and say - you don't eat the goods do you? And we'd say - yeah, just take a really small piece when nobody's looking and the boss will never notice.

    This went on for several weeks - then one week we heard that one of these girls had been sacked and the boss told us the story about how she had acted strangely and waited until he was watching - then just grabbed a huge handfull out of the big display Cheesecake in the window and stuffed it in her mouth - leaving a huge hole in this thing!!

    The boss said to us something like - I'd never catch you boys doing anything like that would I!? ;)
  13. Midway through the flirting with her. I know, bad choice of words. But it was still hilarious. And the poor guy will never be able to come back to our GC without us making fun of him.

    "Hey there, Chucky!! Cracked any good jokes lately?"


    Rock on
  14. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    That delicatessen counter was a weird place - one day the manager was taken away by the police - apparently for molesting one of the boys in the freezer.

    Which meant that there were two or three of us Saturday boys - who were about 16/17 and we had the "run of the shop" we changed all the prices and generally freaked out the customers!!

    Ah happy days!! ;)
  15. Oh yeah, you know us Air Force guys have some great stories from the flightline.

    It's a ritual for us more experienced guys to pick on the new kids.

    Each plane has a set of fire fighting gloves (even though they don't work worth a damn) and they are silver. Each new kid that asks what they are for, we tell them that they are for testing the color weather radar system on the plane, which it just so happens we need to do all of a sudden. :D So we get this kid to put on the gloves and go out side to the taxi line and waves his hands around, to see if the radar will pick it up. So these kids bounce around waving their hands like idiots, while we are calling all the trucks on the line to check out this moron with the silver gloves. The trick works best at night, when the trucks can sneak up with their lights off, and we flip on all the aircraft taxi lights and totally embarrass the kid. :D

    We also have them go to the control center and sign out the keys to the plane, so we can run engines.

    We have them go to the tool section and sign out some K-9P lubricant :D

    We had this one guy ask if he could take a smoke break while we are busting out butts to get the plane ready for it's flight. We're like yeah, no problem, but you have to go over to the Entry Control Point with the fire extinguisher. Mind you these fire extinguishers weigh about 150 pounds and are about 4 feet tall. They have wheels on them, to move them around. From where we were, the Entry Control Point (the place the cops sit and control entry to the flightline) was about 300 yards away! We kinda got in trouble for that one. ;) We told the kid to tell every vehicle that came through why he was standing there with the fire extinguisher.

    We like duct taping new guys to the seats, shutting the plane down, and going to lunch. See if they can get out by the time we come back. If not, we cut them loose and send them home. If they get out, then they have to stay and finish working the shift.

    Yeah, I know we can be mean, but working on the C-5 can do that to even the nicest person.