Holy jeez! I'm in it now...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Hategear, Jun 23, 2001.

  1. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    Last night my band played a gig at the local bar. We didn't have a huge crowd, but the crowd we did have was really into what we were doing. During our third set, this hot little number started shaking her booty and writhing around in front of me, obviously trying to get my attention (it worked ;)). At one point, she started grinding on my leg and touching my arms and stomach. She got so close, her body was actually muting some of my strings! Well, that was the set-up, here is the problem -- my girlfriend was also there and was watching the whole scenario. After the song we were playing was over, I pulled this girl aside and told her that not only did I have a girlfriend, but that said girlfriend had been watching this little "lap-dance" from the very start. After we finished the set and I was packing up my gear, I went over to my girlfriend to smooth things out with her. She acted like it didn't bother her and that everything was fine -- until I got home. It was at this point that she began crying and yelling at me about what had happened. She claims she knows that I didn't really do anything wrong and that I handled the situation as I should have, but she was having a hard time with what she saw anyway. Does anyone have a story like this? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these situations more effectively when they come up? I thought about buying a cheap wedding band to wear when I play out from now on -- is this too "over-the-top?" Help!
  2. oh, come on, you didn't even TRY to stop her. a nasty look or a swift kick in the shin woulda done the trick. and if you weren't singing, you coulda just yelled at her that you had a girlfriend. i think you gotta admit that you let this happen.

    (by the way, attaboy ;) )
  3. rickbass

    rickbass Supporting Member

    When that sort of thing happens, (like last Sat), I usually acknowledge their presence while playing because the audience gets off on it, too.

    If they start trying to pluck/fret the strings with me, that's where I draw the line and ignore them, (and get back onstage if I have walked offstage into the crowd).

    Eventually, they complete the job they set out to do - getting numb drunk - and they take care of themselves if security doesn't.

    The wedding band thing is a paradox, IME. When I used to manage restaurants, the married managers DIDN'T WEAR their wedding bands so they wouldn't get hit up by someone half-marinated in the cocktail lounges. That seems strange but smart women on the make look for guys WITH wedding bands because the married guys can't afford to kiss and tell or want a real relationship, unless they like alimony. It's the single guys who won't stop calling.

    Your girlfriend is the one you have chosen at this point in time and the people in the audience are your customers and critics. Remind her of the difference.
  4. pkr2


    Apr 28, 2000
    coastal N.C.
    I made it a policy years ago that if I'm gigging, I'm working. I have'nt carried a girlfriend/wife on a gig since I made that decision.

    Probably 80% of my gigs have been in bars. What do you do when the inevitable drunk sees your significant other sitting alone while you are working and decides that she's fair game?

    You end up in a situation that you can't win because if you walk off the stage to go to her defense, the person who's paying you is gonna be teed off. If you don't, your date/wife is gonna be teed off.

    The way to avoid the whole delimma is to treat your gig as a job. You are being paid, after all.

    YMMV but this policy has worked well for me for a lot of years.

  5. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    I will admit that I did enjoy the attention. Usually, the lead singer gets all the women, so I figure this was a good morale booster for the remaining members of the band and me. On the other hand, I thought she did get too close (hey, she was in my bubble) and although I did want to stop her, my goal was to try to keep playing and not f*** up the song. As I said in my earlier post, when the song was over, I set her straight and she and her friends left after that. Seriously dancehallclasher, you would have KICKED her!? :eek:
  6. hehe, it's funny how we rarely get the girls.. and when we do.. we don't want them! ahhhhhh hehe :)
  7. well, hategear, depends how serious you are with relationships. if i decide to be with a girl, in any long-term sense, it's because she's really special, and at that point it's 100% for real, no screwing around. and i do what i gotta do to keep it going. i'm not saying break a bone, just get yer point across. ;)

  8. Once again pkr2 proves that he may just be the smartest man on Talk Bass.

  9. eric atkinson

    eric atkinson "Is our children learning "Is our teachers teachin

    Feb 4, 2001
    Hey I have the opposite story for ya and it might be worse! I was playing a gig at a place called the red lion! It is a nasty dive but the pay is great
    ! It was in the first set that I noticed a lady in her mid 40s looking at us drunk as she could be without falling down! She had her hair done up like the 80s big hair and was wearing a 82 blue oyster cult shirt all torn up! So as we played she danced her way to me! At first she was rubbing up with my leg and having fun so i kept it going thinking there was no harm from it! But ohh how i was wrong! She then moved her hand up my pants and grabbed my nads!( Sorry aussy people i know nads means something diff but keep with me!) She had ahold of them and would not let go! She had a death grip on me and I looked out in the audience to see my girlfriend wondering what she was thinking! She was laughing her assss off at me and so was several other people! I look at are buddy the door man and he as well was laughing! well she finally let go and got on stage were she took notice of my drummer! She started to get close to him and was about to knock over a cymbal or 2 and the drummer had a live mic to the sound man! And said some very nasty things to him and bam the door man was there to stop it and throw her out! So I tell you friend it could have been much worse! I still get crap from that night and its been many years! Even my drummer brings it up!
  10. pkr2


    Apr 28, 2000
    coastal N.C.

    Aw, shucks. Your kindness overwhelms me. :)
  11. *ToNeS*


    Jan 12, 2001
    Sydney AU
    uh, i think *kicking* this frenzied female would've been a baaaaaaad move - not just for you, but for your band as well. physical violence with the audience is _never_ a good idea, man. it can lead to all kinds of sh*t, like some angry friends of hers, not being asked back to play at that venue, and damn man, maybe even a legal case or something.
    but hey, since bass players are practically invisible, you could probably get away with blaming the guitarist and his reflex-inducing size 0.2 leather pants :p :D
  12. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    I agree with Pk, I have always told my wife, "If you wanna go, dont get pissed at what you see". You have to interact with your audience, its part of the show. I have long hair and some women just have to touch it, happens all the time, doesnt mean I am going home with them.

    She has to trust YOU to do the right thing.

  13. Bass-A-Nova

    Bass-A-Nova Guest

    Nov 2, 2000
    Dammit I've been telling my girlfriend to stay out of the Red Lion for years now......
  14. silvermaneZ


    Oct 10, 2000
    Houston, TX
    This reminded me of something that happened Friday night at our gig. One of the regular drunks was there with his entourage. His girlfriends are cool to hang out with, but he is a d**k. So, he gets drunk enough during our second set to come on stage and start messing with our guitar player - putting his hat on, simulating sex from behind, and the such. Then, he started trying to grab his guitar while he was trying to play and sing "Sweet Home Alabama." The guitarist almost turned around and hit him.

    When we started the third set, this idiot comes back up and starts messing with our singer. Grabbing his pant leg and the such. At one point he grabbed the mike stand. Our singer looked down, and without missing a beat on his acoustic, put his boot into this guys chest hard enough to knock him on his a** and slide on the dance floor about 5 feet. The drunk idiot got up, laughed, and then went back to his table.

    Before the 4th set we were all really wanting him to come back on stage so we could gang up and dump him in a trash can. You can get away with stuff like that when your lead singer is also the bar manager.