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Hope I always stay teachable

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    When I was younger and strung out on drugs I knew everything and no one could teach me. That attitude almost killed me.
    Now, I have an 11-year-old grandson who knows everything. It's okay he is 11-years-old and hopefully will learn better.
    Lately I have even seen some posts by unteachable adults. Makes me think about myself when I see people acting like that. Are there areas that I am an "expert" on?
    Yesterday I met a classical pianist. I offered to shake her hand and she declined saying she was about to play and needed to protect her hands. Okay, I can see that, no problem. When I said "You probably don't want to shake my hand anyway I am a rock musician," she walked of in a huff. I spoke it with a big smile on my face and laughed. My intent was that I might someone lessen her ability with my lack of ability. In hindsight I can see that maybe she understand my statement in another matter, maybe as an insult. Never got a chance to talk to her again, maybe I was mistaken about her response.
    Got to watch her play close up with a trio and she was amazing. Sadly, I allowed our earlier encounter to ruin my enjoyment. She had an amazing bassist with her and I could have learned some things from him as well as her.
    Still trying to learn, hope I remember this next time something like that comes up.
    blastoff99 likes this.
  2. Why, she shoulda.......
  3. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    Sometimes humor doesn't work as intended. Imagine being a comedian on a dud night. That would really be unpleasant. It's funny (odd, not ha ha) how bad we feel when an attempt at humor and friendliness goes awry, and it causes a lot more angst than it really should. Maybe she was having a bad night and you reminded her of something you had absolutely nothing to do with. Maybe she's just not a very pleasant person. Who knows. No point in stewing in your own juices over it, even though that's what most of us would probably end up doing in the same situation. We are like that, somehow. Getting into the zen of the moment is really hard.
    Dr. Cheese and slobake like this.
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Oh man, I've had some comments like that backfire on me too buddy.
    Good move learning from it instead of just concluding she was the one with the problem.
    For years I thought I was this funny guy with great one liners. When I came across someone who didn't get my humor, they were the one with the problem. As that list of people who didn't get me or my humor continued to grow, I then realized it was me, not the other person most of the time.

    Dr. Cheese, saabfender and slobake like this.
  5. Your interpretation seems very charitable, which is typical for you.

    I guess I'm not as nice as you. It sounds like an overly self-important person to me. Lack of a sense of humor doesn't impress me either.
    blastoff99 likes this.
  6. AboutSweetSue

    AboutSweetSue Supporting Member

    Sep 29, 2018
    Lebanon, TN
    She sounds like an a hole.
  7. She must have hung out with a drummer at some stage and she's scarred for life.
    MrLenny1 likes this.
  8. It may not have been a misunderstanding at all. She may have been the type of classical musician who has disdain for “untrained” who dabble in popular music. If this is the case, you were spared that snobbery.
    MrLenny1 likes this.
  9. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    Yeah, sounds like she misunderstood you. If she has a website, toss her an email, explain, and offer to buy her a coffee or adult beverage at her (oryour) next gig if you meet up.
    Gaolee, slobake, pcake and 1 other person like this.
  10. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    i think the only things she told were "my hands are sacred" and "i can't rock." the first is probably delusion, the second is probably the truth.
    Polfuste likes this.
  11. Dr. Cheese

    Dr. Cheese Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 3, 2004
    Metro St. Louis
    I say don’t joke with people you don’t know. It is way too easy to hit a sore spot.
    Gaolee, MJ5150 and slobake like this.
  12. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Yeah; not gonna take that advice.
    slobake and Gaolee like this.
  13. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    And, we are all shocked. Shocked!
    Pilgrim, slobake and rendevouz like this.
  14. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Pilgrim likes this.
  15. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Bottom line: I don't TRY to offend anyone. I don't WANT to offend anyone. If I can live my life showing consideration for others, all the better. Still, I don't live in FEAR of offending anyone. Sometimes, you will be misunderstood. Apologize, and move on, if possible, otherwise, just move on.

    No foul here.
    Gaolee likes this.
  16. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Gaolee likes this.
  17. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    Why, somebody oughta...
    slobake likes this.
  18. hbarcat

    hbarcat Supporting Member

    Aug 24, 2006
    Rochelle, Illinois
    As long as I can remember, I've had an easy time striking up conversations with strangers, typically by improvising a humorous comment to fit the situation.

    About 97 times out of 100 it goes well. I know pretty well by now how to avoid saying things that could be misconstrued as offensive or might just make someone uncomfortable. I've found that most people respond very positively and quickly get into the spirit of participating in a spontaneous and fun conversation with strangers, especially when it's almost expected that everyone keeps their mouths shut and avoids making eye contact when in public.

    Additionally, it's amazing how much can be learned from talking with people you don't know. When I do start up a conversation with strangers I make it a priority to do less than half the talking. Im constantly amazed at some of the fascinating and bizarre things people will tell a total stranger.

    Then there's the other 3% of the time. Sometimes you're just having a bad day and you dont want a total stranger imposing himself in your personal space for no obvious reason. Then there are just some people who can't wait to be offended. Anything you say will be interpreted as an insult of some kind.

    My response is to shut my mouth and respect their right to be left alone.
    Gaolee and slobake like this.
  19. mrcbass


    Jan 14, 2016
    Sacramento, CA
    People need to lighten up. I use humor all the time and with new people the intention is to shock them - just a little - to see how they react. Puns, non-sequitors, inverted phrases, looking at things as not intended, etc - that kind of stuff. If they get it and can handle it, I keep it going. If not, I probably don't want to hang with them anyway. I grew up with insult barbs being the normal in my small circles, so it's just bread into me. Most people get it - if they get offended, I may apologize or I may just move on - all depends on the situation.
  20. hbarcat

    hbarcat Supporting Member

    Aug 24, 2006
    Rochelle, Illinois
    A case in point:

    I'm at work right now and everyone in the factory is busting their butts trying to finish a stack of production for a hard deadline of Friday (tomorrow) at noon.

    About 20 minutes ago, the production manager came into my department to use the parts washer to clean a piece of equipment that is necessary for our ongoing progress. He suddenly dropped the piece on the concrete floor and it broke.

    He and I both instantly knew that this would bring most of our production to a halt for about 2 - 3 hours until we could put together a replacement from among our spare parts.

    Did I say Anything? NO. There is no point in stating the obvious.

    "That's a shame. We're all going to have to work a few hours overtime tonight because you let that critical piece of equipment slip out of your hand."

    That might have been in my mind but I wasn't about to say it out loud.

    Unfortunately, my co-worker has no such internal filter. He's a nice guy and is smart and funny. People like him. But his apparent attempt at using humor lighten our mood backfired.

    He actually said, "That's gonna come out of your paycheck."

    Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the rest of today.
    slobake likes this.

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