Specifically your wife or girlfriend. Okay I know the title of the thread is a bit misleading, but I dont want my wife to see this in my email "how to deal with a naggy wife" ....wouldnt go over well would it? I am getting very tired of arguing all the time. How do you deal with someone who is always (well, often) arguing with you: a)say "yes dear" ------doesnt work, she says "your'e placating me" b) silent treatment ------ she gave me the *very* cold shoulder for an entire day once. I didnt enjoy it, wouldnt want to do it to her. c) try to reason things out. ----- unfortunately not too successful usually b/c no matter what I say, unless I give in to her, its not good enough. At some point you cant be a doormat and you have to standup for yourself. Unfortunately, that usually makes things worse. How can you reason with someone how dwells in the realm of emotion more than logic? d) completely change the subject. ----actually works quite well, but she soon catches on. I am just getting tired of all the arguing. I know that it takes two people for an arguement to exist but in the heat of the moment its very difficult to remove oneself from the situation. 50% of the time things are great, but I dont think being happy 50% of the time is good enough. I really want to make things work, especially since we have a young baby. I just would like to hear some solutions from some of you guys who have been married for so long. Basically I see two general options: 1. capitulate and just do what she wants. ( I have been trying to do this, sort of as a "let's see if this works" option, but then i feel I am always walking on eggshells.) 2. Stand-up for myself and not be a doormat. This inevitable leads to intense arguements. Even when I try to suggest compromises they are very often not good enough for her. For example, this morning she said she is going to make an appointment for the doctors this coming wed. This means I will be looking after the baby, which means I really cant get much done while caring for an infant. Wednesdays are my bands practice day and it seems there is always a million things to do. So I said how about another day instead of Wednesday? Nope it has to be wednesday. It couldnt be Mon, Tues, Thurs or Friday. *sigh* I just dont see why its such a big deal to switch days. She hasnt even made the appointment yet. It doesnt seem rational to me. okay, now this is turning into a venting session. sorry. anyways, how do you guys stay in longterm relationships for so long? I know and understand that I am not without blame to some degree. I guess mainly what I am asking for is strategies to "get out of" arguements. Any other advice is certainly appreciated as well. If someone has some links to online sites that effectively deal with this topic that would also be appreciated. 95% of the time the arguements are based on meaningless, trivial issues that just arent worth it. Thanks in advance.