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How do you deal with the guilt/torment of selling things?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by dfreeland83, Mar 14, 2019 at 10:59 AM.

  1. dfreeland83


    Feb 12, 2017
    Durham, NC
    Also, I'm sure this doesn't help me in terms of musical/emotional baggage... but... seriously...

    My dad (who owned a music store until a couple of years before I was born) gave me a 1972 Gibson Les Paul when I was 13-14 years old. I sold it when I was 19-20 and bought a freakin' amazing drumset. But, I've since owned 2-3 other drum sets, and I've never once owned a guitar as nice as that one. :crying:
  2. JohnnyBottom

    JohnnyBottom Supporting Member

    Nov 27, 2002
    New Jersey
    Just planning on buying the stuff back from the same guy you sold it to in the not too
    distant future. @flippers
  3. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    The used market is still pretty much a buyers market from what I've seen. It's one thing to sell something to pay of debt, it's another thing to take a beating on it to pay off debt. Be smart, don't just sell things at a huge loss. If you can get pretty much what you paid for them though, it might make sense.
  4. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Where are you going to live? Can you rent the house? The equity gain over the next 40 years will help out in your retirement.
    If you're going to live in the house, sell off your stuff and with your extra money each month, pay off the CCs ASAP.
    Get rid of that debt and accumulating interest.

    We use debit cards now and pay as we go. No CCs.

    Also, save enough money for 6 months expenses in case of emergency, auto repair or other problems.
    Set up a 401k for each of you and make that payment the first "expense" of the month.
    Beginning saving when you're younger makes it much easier to retire more comfortably.

    Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! Good luck.:thumbsup:
    Hambone70 and matante like this.
  5. micguy


    May 17, 2011
    There's probably a thing or two in your collection that is relatively hard to replace, or dear to you. You don't want to go into a marriage thinking you had to give up everything for her - resentment is not something you want hanging around. My suggestion is to talk with her about what you're thinking. Ideally, she'll appreciate that you're trying to be part of a team, but also want to make sure you don't give up everything that you love for her. Married people should be willing to sacrifice here and there where necessary, but also should be supporting each other's passions.
    Novarocker and Omega Monkey like this.
  6. dfreeland83


    Feb 12, 2017
    Durham, NC
    Yep, right now we both have the mandatory minimum $1000 in savings, and I've stopped using C.C.s, and started paying off, but since I have 3 months til graduation, that's a bit tough. She has one credit card that she uses solely for rewards, I'm operating on cash-only til I'm out of debt. The house, in the area it's in, will probably never be a *great* seller, so that's why I'm thinking about gettin' while the gettin' is good.
  7. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    But can you rent the house and make some monthly income?
  8. BIGEJ2

    BIGEJ2 Supporting Member

    Jul 29, 2009
    Happy Valley, PA
    No guilt no remorse. Instruments are inadiment objects.
  9. bfields


    Apr 9, 2015
    I personally never really got bit by the instrument-acquisition bug, so I may not be much use.

    The last instrument I sold was a 20-year-old keyboard (Roland RD 500) that I was finally ready to replace with something newer. The guy who bought it from craigslist turned out to be a jazz pianist with solid chops who was very happy to find that specific keyboard (he'd had one years ago) and expecting to gig it that weekend.

    I was fond of the keyboard and I'd played it for years, but mainly I was overjoyed to know it was going to be in good hands.

    So if some of your gear's been gathering dust, maybe it helps to think of this as getting instruments back out into circulation where they'll be appreciated and used. Good instruments deserve that.
    dfreeland83 likes this.
  10. Spidey2112


    Aug 3, 2016
    I play this, until the CD player disintegrates...

  11. GIBrat51

    GIBrat51 Innocent as the day is long Supporting Member

    Mar 5, 2013
    Lost Wages, Nevada
    I'm afraid that my answer would have to be - I couldn't say, in that particular circumstance. When I've sold things, it's always been because I wanted to. My life circumstances at your age were radically different. I joined the military at 17, and let them pay for my education. And I got married - at 28 - to someone who was also in the military. and who was also letting them pay for her education. We did have problems, but they were different ones. Anyway... about all I can say is that yeah, having to sell stuff 'cause you have to, is - unfortunately - one of those "Things Grownups Have To Do". Usually because... well, because Life is just like that, sometimes. When I have to do one of those things, I usually just do it as quickly as possible and get it over with. Sort of like yanking a band-aid off, instead of pulling it off slooowwllyy... So, just realize that yes, it's an unhappy thing, but that's Life; and sometimes Life controls you; not the other way 'round. You're an adult, and they often have to do unhappy things. IME, it's best to just suck it up, and do what you have to do. And, after it's done? Try not to think about it too much... until it acquires "War Story" status in your mind, and you can one-up other people with it here...:cool:
  12. Speaking only for me: I'd sell just about anything to get out of debt. As a post-bankruptcy survivor, I hate debt, and look at it as something to be killed immediately, when possible, and not letting myself get in any debt for any real amounts of money (save for a mortgage). I learned this the hard way. Take advantage of my experience, do yourself a favor at my expense, please !

    Basses are stuff. You can always get more stuff. It's available anywhere and everywhere, 24/7. A life partner can't be bought, so man up and do the right thing. At least, if my income was about to triple, I'd sure as hell not worry about buying another axe or two. I've lived long enough and been through enough to never get THAT attached to stuff . . . . . . you can always get more. It's not that way with people.
    dfreeland83 likes this.
  13. kmon

    kmon Supporting Member

    May 11, 2009
    Austin, TX

    Dude don't sell any guitars that are dear to you because you're feeling guilty about the relative debt situation. Doesn't sound like she's asking you to do this.

    You guys will both be working? No kids? You could sell your rental and eliminate the debt? I'm seeing many options for getting rid of that 10K without hocking anything you love.

    Also, if anybody suggests that getting married means you should grow up and sell your guitars and other toys, kick them in the junk immediately...
    underwhelmist and Omega Monkey like this.
  14. dfreeland83


    Feb 12, 2017
    Durham, NC
    So, after reading some replies, I did decide to list everything not getting enough love. Specifically, I'm keeping the stuff that'd be hard to replace, yet not valuable, but things easily replaceable, like my amp, for example, are going buh-bye.

    I don't *need* a GK MB212-ii for anything, yet I have one (churches always run thru the PA, and that's 99% of my playing). I'll sell it and get a practice amp. My Mustang, while it's fun, doesn't do anything my old P or Jazz doesn't do, so, buh-bye. Etc. Etc.
  15. kmon

    kmon Supporting Member

    May 11, 2009
    Austin, TX
    sounds completely reasonable
  16. groooooove

    groooooove Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2008
    Long Island, NY
    unless you make a living with the instruments, they're just trinkets that can come and go.

    i've bought and sold so much stuff. I can't keep track. a few times i've tried to hunt down things i've let go and buy them back - it's worked a few times, too.

    let 'em go. you can always buy another later. very few things literally "cant" be replaced.
  17. DLVlad


    Jan 17, 2009
    I think back on your thread you said your rental was three states away. Unless it's managed by someone or occupied by reliable tenants that's a good reason to get rid of it. Rentals should be closer. You sound like you both have good thoughts on this. Don't eat out, that kills savings. When you get a raise don't learn to spend it. Just increase your 401k contributions.
    dfreeland83 and Omega Monkey like this.
  18. gjohnson441496


    Dec 14, 2014
    Every time it seems but I get over it. For me it's better to trade or sell something I'm not using than to horde onto something that I'm not using. I still have to get over it though. :bassist:
  19. interp

    interp Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2005
    Garmisch, Germany
    I solved this problem when I realized that no thing has inherent value, only the value one attaches to it. When you sell something you previously attached value to, simply transfer that “attachment” to what the proceeds of the sale will provide. It’s not always easy but it can be done.
    mikewalker likes this.
  20. TheReceder


    Jul 12, 2010
    I just buy replacement things....

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