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How do you deal with the guilt/torment of selling things?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by dfreeland83, Mar 14, 2019 at 10:59 AM.

  1. JimmyM


    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
  2. AboutSweetSue


    Sep 29, 2018
    Lebanon, TN
    I wouldn’t sell anything unless I had to. 55k is enough to pay debt off quickly if you’re disciplined. Of course, if you’ve over spent on houses, cars, boats, etc. and have no surplus income, then I’d consider selling. Also, cost of living would need to be considered.
    Omega Monkey likes this.
  3. Two school loan payments at the time.... Eat that sucker down quick....
    Either route you go, there will be some suffering.

    If you must sell, only sell the replaceable...
  4. I’ve been a married musician for over 40 years and here’s my advice:
    1. Don’t sell anything you can’t replace later like that ‘72 LP. That kind of gear isn’t getting any cheaper.
    2. Don’t get married.
  5. Amps and pedals and stuff I don’t get that attached to. As far as basses I like to pretend they’ve gone on to a better place where their new owners are gigging the hell out them which is better than than sitting in my closet because they’ve been dropped to “3rd string”
  6. Razman

    Razman Supporting Member

    Feb 10, 2005
    Orange Park, FL
    I wished that I was a better steward many years ago. I'd still have my Steiny GM4T, an XQ-4, a Dingwall, and a bunch of other items. Be patient and wait for your job to start - don't dump the stuff you are happy with now.
    Omega Monkey likes this.
  7. bearfoot


    Jan 27, 2005
    schenectady, ny
    Unless it's a unique, rare instrument(s). Sell them all. Pay down the debt. And do not complain about it. Once its over, you will feel more manly than you do now. Just do it. Don't ask for her input - this is your mess, clean it up.

    Your future wife is telling you it's ok, and I am not at all suggesting deception there. You've got a keeper. But "ok" is a far cry from "excellent". Demonstrating that you can eliminate debt sends a biological signal, it's not about money, per se.

    Then, as your new job settles in, you may want to start a new bass fund. Or you may find you no longer care. Keep one good, workingman's bass.

    You are at a fork in the road. Your choices at the inception of the formal bond can and will affect the outcome down the line.

    Good luck! May the Bass Be With You. Always.
    Hambone70 likes this.
  8. Hambone70


    Jan 31, 2018
    Tucson, AZ
    Geez... it's just stuff. IMHO, there's a lot more to life than materialism.
  9. baileyboy


    Aug 12, 2010
    "this, too, shall pass"
  10. TheBear

    TheBear Bergantino Artist, Vibe9 IEM Artist Supporting Member

    Jun 15, 2008
    Austin, TX
    Well, as a single straight guy I can’t give you any advice about marriage. But...

    Unless the bass gear you have is absolutely unique, irreplaceable or special in some significant way...yeah, I’d say to sell it off IF the proceeds from each sale make financial sense. It doesn’t make much sense to me to sell a $1000 bass for $500 if you’re sure that you’ll need it sometime in the next year or two to play music, because when you re-buy the bass in a year or two it’ll end up costing you $1500 in the long run. However, selling said $1000 bass for $750 or $800 decreases that elevated long-term cost and makes more sense to me.

    If you do end up selling off most of your gear to go into this marriage debt-free and start this $55k job, what would you think about setting up a financial goal with your fiancé of each of you having, say, $2000 in “fun money” that you both save and each spend on your respective hobbies? Use it to mark a your one-year anniversary and be part of each other's decision (she comes with you to help you pick out a $2000 bass/amp/setup and you go with her to help her pick out $2000 in whatever she’s into)? Just a single guy’s idea anyway...
    dfreeland83 likes this.
  11. twinjet

    twinjet GE90-equipped Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    "How do you deal with the guilt/torment of selling things?"

    Sometimes I don't and just keep hating myself for it.
    dfreeland83 and pcake like this.
  12. If only I had a time machine. I would tell myself, "you're going to want that again, and it will cost you, about 3 times as much to buy one again"
    dfreeland83 likes this.
  13. chris_b


    Jun 2, 2007
    You need the cash. To get the cash you have to sell stuff. As long as your need for the money is greater than your need for the basses then there is no regret.

    When you are in a position to save enough get something better.
    dfreeland83 likes this.
  14. Omega Monkey

    Omega Monkey

    Mar 8, 2015
    It doesn't sound like you need to sell anything. As long as you can make at least your minimum payments on the credit cards and other debt for the time being, I would hold with that. Stop "dating" your fiance, that's dumb. Just get together at her place or yours and enjoy each other's company and have a homemade dinner. I guess you must be super religious otherwise you'd be living together already.

    No, this is dumb, being married is INSANELY cheaper than being single. 1 1 bedroom place is WAY cheaper than 2 1 bedroom places, for one thing. There are also tax advantages to being married, especially if you have very different incomes (ie in different brackets).

    In the grand scheme of things, 10k in debt is really a drop in the bucket, especially if you know you're going to be making 55k in a few months. Does getting rid of the debt in 3 months vs 6 months or even a year make that much difference? Not really. And you'd have to sell a hell of a lot of gear to put a significant dent in 10k anyway. If you don't have at least a handful of items worth 1k or more that will sell relatively quickly at decent (for you) prices, you're wasting your time (literally). Your statements on your rental property are kind of ambiguous. Is there an offer now that would net you 10k? Or is that just what you estimate you would make if you DID sell it? It sounds like it's not really pulling it's weight financially, you'd be better off using your weekends to go down there and do any work it needs to get it ready to list.

    OR, go the opposite route and take out a small HELOC or just re-fi with a cash-out to pay off the CC/student loans and then pay them off over time at a much lower interest rate. Stuff like that will go WAY further than selling a couple basses.

    I have this exact bass. Dont sell that, these are awesome, and the inherent value (at least if you got a good one) is WAY higher than the cash value (which is barely a drop in the bucket of your 10k).

    So bottom line is, sure, if you have stuff you've fallen out of love with (or never bonded with in the first place), or just really have no use for and no attachment to, sure, go ahead and sell it. Downsizing and consolidating can be great, especially if you're about to combine houses (how about getting rid of redundant stuff you won't need once you're living together? Just check with her first to make sure you identify the right stuff). Spring time is a great time for a yard sale and for house cleaning. And also a great time for house listing.

    But don't just sell stuff willy nilly out of some misguided quixotic notion that you're doing the "heroic" thing, especially when the debt is not that bad to begin with, and you have much better and more realistic options. It sounds like you could use some solid financial planning advice from a professional. Definitely at a minimum talk to a mortgage officer and see what you can do, and/or a real estate agent in the area where your rental place is. And maybe also look into debt consolidation services. The idea is to lower your overall interest rate, which buys you time, which you are going to need regardless. And the sooner you do that, the more time you can potentially buy and/or the more money you can save in the long run.
    dfreeland83 and AboutSweetSue like this.
  15. Cutter8

    Cutter8 Admittedly in need of adult supervision... Supporting Member

    Feb 4, 2018
    Not too hateful? I’d say you knocked it out of the park! I applaud your desire to be responsible about finances going into your marriage, but I think you can ease up on yourself a little. If it’s just nice stuff that you like, go ahead and sell it. If it is something that makes you sad to think about parting with, keep it. Your debt and financial situation seem very manageable, and you have your bride-to-be’s support. Life sounds pretty good!
    JoshS, dfreeland83 and ktedrow like this.
  16. Yeah, there’s a few that I’ll probably never get over. I’m guessing that when you’re on your death bed, you look at things a lot differently, though.
  17. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    You don't own things - they own you. Set yourself free.
    chris_b likes this.
  18. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    They are just things. Let 'em go.

    You have mamories of your actual dad. You don't need the guitar he have you. You don't need any gear yoh used to own. Buy and sell as needed and don't sweat it.
    JoshS and chris_b like this.
  19. Hello OP, & congrats! I definitely agree w/ the attitude of "it's just stuff". I also wouldn't just think of doing the Dave Ramsey thing, I would absolutely do it. I'm debt free & so is my brother & his bride. It works.

    Your bride & future family will mean a lot more to you than any "thing" that you own, ever.
    chris_b and Hambone70 like this.
  20. LT131


    Jan 25, 2015
    Deep South
    I just cannot see any guilt. Do what you need to do for peace of mind and you'll feel better. Regardless of what others are trying to say an instrument is just an instrument and they are getting better and cheaper all the time.

    Besides, you play bass. No one notices what you play or how you sound unless it's bad.
    chris_b likes this.

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