I went on a CRAPPIE date. UGH. Guy started off by grossing me out at dinner by taking HUGE bites of food, and then talking and laughing with his mouth open so I could see his lovely chewed-up food. Then he went on and on and on and on about nutrition and nutritional deficiencies (he's a nutritionist) to which I politely listened to, but tried not to encourage the conversation. He made horrible jokes all night, which I gave a polite smile to and then he'd proceed to smack me in the arm and say "get it? Get it? You get it, right?" I tried to end the date nicely by saying "I'm so tired, thank you for a nice evening but I'm going to head home now" to which he said "Oh, can I get you some caffeine? Want some ice cream?" I gathered my things and walked out to the car where Mr. Clueless tried to kiss me but I dodged gracefully and gave him a butt-out butterfly hug (where you hug with your butt sticking out and give the butterfly pat on the back) and then jumped in my car and closed the door so fast his hair blew back. I always try to be nice when I'm not interested, but I've found that simply saying "You're nice but I don't feel a connection" is followed by begging and/or "give me another chance." So then I have to keep saying it until they get it, or be mean, which I hate. Is it best to be extra blunt, you know like the band-aid approach (just rip it off quickly!)? Does saying things like "you're nice" or "I had fun but..." only encourage and give hope? I always thought I was softening the blow. How about the guy approach and not returning phone calls? This guy is calling...and calling...and calling and so far I haven't answered because I don't know what to say.
Don't go out to dinner. Go out for a coffee in the afternoon first. It's less of an initial responsibility with length of time because you can easily say "oh sorry, I have something else going on today". Also, by lying to him (smiling, pretending to like him) you're only worsening the problem. The trick is to not lead him on. You can avoid this altogether by going out to coffee!
If the guy doesn't have enough feelings (or radar or antennae) to catch your feelings than he is blunt. There is definitely no communication there Just say "thank you for the date, but I really need a guy with long hair".
Have first date sex with him... then tell him you love him. You'll never have to worry about seeing that dude ever again!!
I guess guys can't tell the difference between a polite smile and a radiant "I like you" smile. My polite smile is a small smile, mouth closed. Usually I try to meet for drinks, and if he's ugly I order a shot and leave. But for some reason I got conned into dinner. Never again!
In your case, some blunt honesty might do the trick. I mean, the guy focused on himself for most of the date, from how you're describing it. Problems to cite: - you two are not compatible; you're looking for a much different kind of guy - the date was uncomfortable - he's rude! However, I'm part of a dying breed of guys who actually still open doors for women, give them space to talk about themselves, and pay for their desserts... so my opinion probably isn't worth much.
I can. The only times girls do the radiant smile is when I say "Well... I have to go..." or something similar. Otherwise it's the polite smile.
If I ask a girl to coffee,,,then that means I'm interested. A dinner is formal. A coffee,,,then I'm checking you out to see where your head is at. Nope. coffee is dangerous.
the more you do to piss him off the less likely he will be to even try and talk to you. unless of course he snaps and gets stalky or violent.
From what you are saying about the date he doesn't pick up on clues very easily. You'll have to be blunt. Just do it. You've got nothing to gain by being vague. Most guys take advantage of women cause we know they really don't want to be hurtful. You've kissed the frog once, that will do.
When you see things are quickly going downhill, try this: "I guess I must have misread you, and I'm sorry I wasted your time but I gay, and I thought YOU were too!". Then after that bombshell sinks in: "It looks like my "GAYDAR" is on the fritz tonight, it does that sometimes when my infection becomes active and I can't read people as well as I normally do.. I date gay men because I feel safe with them".. He'll be a bumbling fool by that time.. looking for any excuse to 'cut and run'.. Problem solved!
If he doesn't have any connection to any of your friends/family/co-workers, just use those 3 magical words... I have AIDS.
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